So Emotional
by Stessa
Summary: Right in the middle of living her New York dream, Rachel is surprised by a knock on her door. It's Santana, and she only has a few things to say; "Hi Dwarf, I'm here in New York now, and I'm going to be your room-mate." That is the start to an entirely different dream, where Santana also has to find her way in life. Pezberry.
1. Chapter One

**SO EMOTIONAL**

**Chapter One **

It all started with a knock on her door. Which – in itself – was weird enough, because no one ever knocked on her door. There was no one _to_ knock on her door. She didn't really know that many people in the city yet, and she had just been rehearsing some dance moves to impress that horrendous new teacher of hers, when said knock had happened.

_Then_ came the second weird thing regarding that knock on the door.

When she finally managed to gather her confusion and step into the hallway to open the door, it was Santana Lopez on the other side of it. Yes, you heard right. Santana Lopez had knocked on her door.

That was weird, wasn't it?

Although…. The weirdest thing hadn't happened yet. The weirdest thing was only about to happen, when Santana Lopez opened her mouth and said, "Hi Dwarf, I'm here in New York now, and I'm going to be your room-mate." before she stepped into the apartment, threw a bag and a suitcase on the floor and looked like she'd basically been there many times before.

Rachel smacked her door close and turned to stare at the Latina with wide eyes, "Excuse me? It sounded like you just said that you were _going to be my room-mate_?" she questioned. She thought that she had left all of Lima behind her and that she was going to live her New York adventure by herself, without Finn and without Kurt, and she'd spent the entire train ride there coming to terms with that, and what – now this? Santana Lopez was the last person she had ever thought she'd see at this point in her life.

Admittedly they had settled their differences and become friends. Rachel cared immensely about Santana, words could not describe how important the other girl was to her; they'd moved past everything and the Latina had ended up with her picture in her locker, and Rachel had a picture of Santana tucked into her lyrics book.

"_Yes_." Santana empathized as she took a seat on Rachel's worn couch, "My parents gave me their savings and said to follow my dreams in the big city." she shrugged her shoulders, still glancing here and there to take in the humble place that was Rachel's apartment, "I wasn't sure whether or not to leave Brittany, but then I figured… She's going to be okay and so am I."

The diva didn't doubt that they were both going to be fine, even without each other, but that still didn't explain why she had come _here_. "Still," the brunette urged her on, "why are you here?"

Santana smiled at her, "Well, I thought we could live together. That's going to safe us both a lot of money, which will… make my savings last longer. I'm still not sure how I'm going to make my dreams happen, but being here is the start."

"I only have one bedroom." Rachel said then. She wasn't sure – Santana's suggestion was making her feel torn. On one hand, the Latina was so absolutely right, it would be easier, they'd be two people to handle the bills, but on the other hand… Santana could be such an obstruction. Would she still be able to practice and perfect every assignment for school if the Latina was present all the time?

"We'll split it." Santana said then, "I mean, I strongly suspect the both of us will be having sex eventually – or at least, I know I will, and I _hope_ that you will move past Finnocence and enjoy life a little – and when that happens, the other takes the couch." she patted the cushion, and even if it wasn't so soft, she nodded to herself like it was really possible to spend a night there, "On every regular evening, we'll just split the bed? Look," she paused, glaring at her, "why are you being hesitant? Do you not want me here or something?"

Taken completely off guard by Santana's bluntness (even though she was very familiar with it by now, she should be, she'd spent three years hating it), Rachel scrambled to explain her thoughts, "No! No Santana, it could be… quite lovely having some company, I'm just… I just don't want your presence to interfere with my school work." She softly finished. It would be nice with some company though. She had never been good at making friends, and she hadn't quite succeeded at that at NYADA yet. She'd just been discussing her experiences over the phone with Blaine, Kurt, Quinn and her fathers.

Rolling her eyes, the Latina continued, "No worries Midget, I'll let you sing, dance and fail in peace." She glanced around and winked at her, "So what do you say? We have a deal?"

Rachel couldn't help the soft smile that came on her face then. Santana could be so absolutely rude and crude, but deep down inside – she really cared. Rachel was not in doubt about that. Just the sole fact that Santana was even here, it was proof that she really did care about her. Otherwise she would have never seen this as an option. "We have a deal." The diva mimicked, before she fell onto the couch, on top of the other girl, and wrapped her arms around her.

Santana returned the hug, although briefly, "Alrights Berry! I don't have a lot of shit with me, but I figured the Daddies Berrys would probably have set you up real good, huh?" she leaned back then and glanced yet another time around the room, "Although real good apparently isn't that... _good._"

The diva tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and sheepishly said, "Yes... The savings they had made for me, though very much in Lima, doesn't get me far here. This is the best I could afford to make my savings last for the longest time. I still have to be careful with everything I buy to make the next four years."

The Latina looked at her with her serious thinking-face. She was quiet for a second or two, before she said, "How about a job, Berry? Huh? Ever think of that?"

"I was contemplating it." Rachel quickly said then, a wicked smile on her face. "But now you're here and we're two people to pay the bills... Looks like I won't have to at all. I can just focus on my school work!" she excitingly said. Having Santana here was already starting to pay off in her book. She had really been thinking about getting perhaps a waitress job to just earn a bit extra money, but now that Santana was there... there really was no point. She'd have to spend half as much on regular expenses, and could even afford to buy things for her own enjoyment now, and she'd still have saved a bit in comparison to what she did now. Having Santana with her was _really_ starting to look good now. Both financially and for company.

Santana groaned and turned to look at her, "Am I going to have to listen to you sing all the damn time, Berry?" she questioned then, one eyebrow raised.

Rachel nodded, "You most certainly will have to, Santana, and must I add, I would very much like it if you could start calling me by my first name, which is Rachel, or perhaps use my pet name from high school, which is Rach." she blinked a few times as she looked at the other girl. She felt that she needed to say this now that they were truly going to be around each other every day, "I know that we only had a few months of friendship in high school in which you did not take to call me neither, but now that you are here, I would very much like it if you put Berry and the degrading nicknames aside." she paused, "I'm Rachel and you're Santana."

The Latina bit her lip, clearly contemplating something. Rachel wasn't quite sure that she wanted to hear what the other girl was thinking, but she was also pretty sure that she _would_. "How about..." the other girl begun, a sneaky expression coming onto her face, "I still get to call you every nickname in the book, and you-" she poked a finger into the side of Rachel's arm, just to make sure that they both knew who she was referring to, "-you can get me a nickname as well." she licked her lips, "Just makes the every day a little bit funnier."

Rachel had to think about that for a second or two; she had known going in that Santana would not be easy to reason with, and that the fierce Latina would not be pleased to hear that she wanted her to drop the nicknames. She hadn't even really believed within herself that she would be able to convince that other girl that she had to, so this... it was not so surprising. The good part was that Santana had willingly said that they could figure something out and she could actually give her a nickname, too. That was quite something, wasn't it? Now, what was she going to go with? Satan or Satana? Oh, those possibilities...

"I'm going to think about that for a few days..." Rachel trailed off then, smiling at her friend, now room-mate. "I'll let you know what your degrading nickname is going to be."

Santana laughed, "Sure alrights, Dwarf!" she slung her feet onto the coffee table then and glanced around, "Now, we're going to have to live together, and I know we're friends now and everything, but I really fucking believe that it's going to be a challenge for both of us not to kill the other."

Standing up from the couch to go into the kitchen and fetch them some coffee, Rachel glanced at the other girl, "Please Santana, I am much more civilized than you. I have never wanted to kill you."

Snorting, Santana said, "Now you're just lying to yourself, Berry-cakes." she lightly said, "And I take my coffee black, if you don't mind. Sweetening it up is for pussies."

Sticking her head into the living room to look at her friend, Rachel laughed, "Now, _that _we can agree on, Santana! Although... I'd put it in a less crass and hostile way."

"Ya' take your coffee black as well?" the Latina questioned, and when Rachel gave her a nod, she whistled, "Nice one."

Rachel chuckled to herself as she turned away from the doorway and into her small kitchen; it was practically nothing more than an alcove. She – well, from today on,_ they_, she guessed – had a little fridge with a freezer above it. On the end of the small room was a window with a sink underneath it along with some drawers. On the right was the small counter – it was no more than five feet, where a stove was squeezed in with an oven beneath it and the small space left was filled up with her toaster and her kettle. Beneath the counter and in cupboards above it she had stored all of her kitchen essentials, along with all the food that didn't need to be in the refrigerator.

She believed that she had managed to squeeze many things into small space, and she was proud of herself for that, now she had everything she needed. She hummed to herself as she filled the kettle with water and got two cups out along with the instant coffee. She measured the tea spoons as she listened to Santana in the living room; the other girl seemed to be preoccupied with her bags, at least that's what it sounded like, and Rachel knew that they were going to figure out where to put her clothes and the few things she'd brought.

When the kettle went off, she poured the boiling hot water into the cups, stirred both of their drinks and went into the living room to greet her friend. She had been right; in the few minutes she had focused on making their coffees, the former cheerleader had emptied out most of the contents in her luggage and it was now stacked on the floor.

"Here you go." Rachel told her and handed her a cup.

Santana happily took it. "Thanks, Midget."

Rachel took a seat on the couch, taking a sip of her cup and loving the instant awakening she received simply by the smell. "No problem." she said. She should probably have rehearsed her choreography a bit more, but she had to realise that it wasn't going to happen tonight; they should get Santana settled instead. "So I figure we're just going to divide the drawers in the bathroom, two for each, so I hope all your things can fit in there, and-" she paused, "I don't know what to do with your clothes, my closet is fully stocked. I see you have some DVDs and books though, some personal belongings, they should fit right in next to mine."

Placing her cup on the floor, Santana leaned slightly backwards, resting her weight on her arm. Like that, she could just gaze into the tiny bedroom, and when she pulled back, she shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah, I can see that. All I need is to have my dresses and jackets on some of those hangers you have, and tomorrow I'm going to use some of my savings to buy some bed-rollers."

Gaping at her, the diva questioned, "Bed-rollers?"

"Hell yes!" the Latina continued happily, "I don't get why you don't have any of those in here? It's those plastic boxes on wheels, they go right beneath the bed?" she looked at her, questioningly, "You don't fucking know what they are? Berry, they're perfect to keep my clothes in. It's going to be good, they roll right beneath the fucking bed, alright?"

Rachel couldn't believe that there was such an invention and she hadn't heard of it before. "Yeah... yeah. Good idea, Santana." she simply just said, before she sipped her coffee again, musing things over.

Santana laughed at her. "And I'm going to be looking for a job, so I can start to bring home some money!"

"That's a brilliant idea, Santana. We need to make sure that things can go round before anything." Rachel replied, nodding her head. "You should never forget though, why you're really here. You want to follow your dreams." she paused, licking her lips as a thought struck her. She'd heard Santana go on and on about New York before, how she wanted to go there and follow her dreams instead of going to that cheerleading college, but... She'd never actually heard what those dreams _were_. "What... are you dreams exactly?"

Turning her head to look at her, Santana took a long sip of her coffee as silence overtook the small apartment. As she placed her cup on the floor, she gnawed at her lip and met Rachel's eyes in an honest gaze. "I'm not..." she trailed off, pausing, "sure exactly."

Rachel whispered, "But something with performance, right?"

"Yeah..." Santana nodded, "Yeah... definitely something with performance."

Rachel couldn't help but sigh heavily. Looks like her time in New York had just taken an entirely different turn than she'd first anticipated. She didn't know yet, if it was going to be for better or for worse. Only time would tell, she reckoned.

**X**

Rachel left early the next morning to get to school by eight o'clock. Santana had still been sleeping; finally happy to have gotten the entire Queen sized bed to herself after sharing all night with Rachel, when the diva had stepped into the bedroom – singing loudly _some_ song from some _musical_ – a coffee in one hand, and completely dressed in her usual Berry attire. The Latina knew that she had been up for hours, working out on her elliptical (at least she'd had the thought to move it into the living room last night, before they went to bed), but she was just way too chipper for such early hours.

She'd pulled the covers off her and placed the coffee in the windowsill, before she'd ordered the Latina to get up and get moving, so she could find a job. And then she'd left.

Santana had spent a few minutes in bed, huddled up in the duvet and with her strong coffee warming her hands, before she had told herself that Rachel was right, and that she really did need to find work. She didn't want to admit this to the diva, but Santana was a bit worried about the money. She knew that they were going to pay half of everything now, which was only fair. Rachel had a big college fund to support her, and the Berry men were well off if they ever really was in need, but... they had to make do for themselves. Santana's savings weren't half as big as Rachel's (they'd looked everything over last night), and they'd only last her for so long. She really needed to find a job to get in some money.

So that was why she was now walking around in the neighbourhood, looking for small cafés. She wanted to work near the apartment, it'd just be easier and more convenient, and she'd prefer a waitress job above some other crappy job she might be able to get. She was technically nothing, she was fresh out of high school without any remarkable grades. All she had going for her was her looks, which meant that any restaurant or café would be fucking lucky to have her. She was easy on the eyes, and she'd attract a helluva lot of male customers. And the female kind too, of course, the gay ones (which, Santana was pleased to know this, New York had many more of than Lima, Ohio).

She hadn't even bothered to write a resume. She figured that she was better off, just walking into some place, and demand they hire her. They'd be stupid if they didn't do it. She just really needed a job – if she had a job, a regular income, she'd be able to focus more on what she wanted, and how she had to get there. She wasn't dumb enough to think that it'd be easy and she'd just strive to the top; she had hopes, dreams, but she was well aware of the fact that it'd take her time to get there.

In a way... She was so thankful for Rachel and the fact that she had her now, here. That they were in New York together. She was pretty sure that Rachel would learn to appreciate the company as well, as soon as they got used to each other. It just seemed less scary, less... dangerous now that they were here together. Not that Santana was ever fucking scared of anything. It was just – it was just_ nice_.

She'd been in two small places where she could see herself work, but they didn't need anymore staff, she'd skipped a few places because they were too much drinking and too little food (and she really didn't need to be around alcohol in her everyday life; that'd just tempt her). She'd then continued to walk through the small streets, just gazing at windows and trying to figure out where she might be able to find a job that was up to her standards. She wasn't really picky per say, she just didn't want to write home to her parents and only have shitty things to tell.

They'd be hella fucking proud of her if she called home tonight and told them she had a place to stay, a job and a fucking sweet room-mate. They'd love even more that it was Rachel, her mother completely adored her; after all the Glee performances they had seen her in, they were in-fucking-love with her.

And then when Santana turned a corner, it was like everything fell into place for her. There, just across the street from her, was the _perfect_ little coffee shop. It looked quaint, homey, and when she crossed the street, she took a look at all of the signs they had on the pavement. There was food on the menu; light lunches, sandwiches, salads, all those kind of things, and there was coffee and other hot drinks. It even looked like they served alcohol at nights where they had open until two.

_Rusty Rick's_

She took in a deep breath and told herself that this was the place she was going to work. She'd have to pursue the owner into hiring her, and that was just that. Pushing the door open, she stepped into the small place and took a look around; she was immediately pleased with the atmosphere. It was cosy, warm, and she was pleased to see that there was a small makeshift stage in one end of the room, and she would be thoroughly pleased if there were small amateur shows sometimes. She needed music in her life, especially now that Glee was over and all she had was her iPod and Rachel's constant singing.

Walking up to the counter, she riled herself up with confidence and demanded to see the boss. "I want to see the manager." she said to the young guy who was standing behind the counter.

He offered her a small smile, "Sure. Just a moment."

Santana smiled wickedly at him, "Yeah I'll wait." she replied. She had such a good feeling about this place; she could just feel that this was where she wanted to work, this was the _place_ for her. She could see herself, dolled up in a hot as fuck waitress uniform, trying to smooth-talk the customers and rudely kick those out who were misbehaving.

She was pulled out of her thoughts then, by an old cracked voice, "Ya' wanted to see me?"

Turning around on the spot, Santana put on her biggest smile and said, "Yes. You're the boss in this place?"

He held out his hand, smiling warmly at her. He was old, he had the nicest pair of eyes and a face covered in wrinkles. His beard was grey, and he wore glasses. "I'm Rick." he told her.

"Santana Lopez." she shook his hand. "I just moved here from boring Lima, Ohio, got a place with my high school friend, she just started school, and I was... Sort of hoping to get a job in this joint."

He stared her up and down then, clearly amused, "A job, you say? And what are your qualifications that'd pursue me into hiring someone like you?" he chuckled, "What are you? 18? 19?"

The Latina replied, "18. But I'm a quick learner. And as you can see, I'm a fucking catch, I'll sure as hell be attracting a lot of male customers."

He laughed. "Clearly."

Santana raised an eyebrow, staring at the old fellow. She was always pretty good at reading people, but she had no idea what to do with this man. In appearance, he seemed like any other old grandfather, but it was pretty clear to her that he was not. "Look," she said then, fiercely, she knew that she had his interest, she just wasn't sure how she was going to rope him in and hire her. "what do you want me to say, Rick? I'm in need of a job, I can work whenever you want me to, I live just a few blocks over. I need the money." she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared up at him, "I'll be the best fucking waitress you ever had, alright? I excel at everything I frigging do."

He laughed again, "You got a mouth on ya', Sweetheart. I like that." he leaned himself against the counter and gave her a once-over, "You'll fit right in here, Santana Lopez. And it just so happens that we're actually short on staff after Delilah ran off with her boyfriend last week."

"You fucking serious?" Santana questioned; she couldn't believe her luck. She was really feeling as if coming here to New York had been the right decision to make after all. This was the place she had just felt was it for her – and now look, she was hired! Rachel was going to be fucking thrilled when she got the news. And so would her parents.

"I'm nothing but serious." Rick replied, "You can come in tomorrow around nine, we'll find you a uniform, get you trained." he licked his lips and gave her a pad on the side of her arm. "I'm looking forward to this, Santana, I hope you won't make me regret this."

The Latina snorted, "Not a fucking chance, Rick." she stepped back and pointed at him, "I'll see you tomorrow? Bye." she was smiling brightly to herself as she stepped outside and heard the shop close behind her; already liking the ding that was heard from the back of the shop, all the way to where she was standing now, outside.

Step one of her plan for today was completed, and she had to say that she was making pret-ty good time.

The next step of her plan for today? Bed-rollers.

**X**

"Alright, I_ have _to admit, Santana Lopez, that you managed to make this place look _more_ than presentable." Rachel said then, as she spun around in their modest two bedroom apartment to take in the new changes.

Santana had been working her ass off all day to make her things fit and still make the place liveable. It's not because it was that important to her that it looked nice (she couldn't care less about cleanliness and stuff, but she knew that Rachel would maim her if she messed the entire place up on her first day there), but she just wanted her shit to fit. She wanted this place to be hers as much as Rachel's, which was why she had done more than she usually might have. "You totally do not have faith in me, Berry-cakes." she replied, happily taking a look at her day's work, too.

Rachel smiled up at her with glistening eyes. "I might have to change my view on you." she sincerely said then, and they were quiet for a moment, before she skipped into the bedroom and pulled one of the bed-rollers out from beneath the bed. "This was a fantastic idea as well, Santana! It simply stores clothes in a place one usually wouldn't use anyway. It's practical and easy! I like it."

The Latina clicked her tongue. "Well, what can I say? I'm just frigging awesome."

Laughing, Rachel nodded her head, "I hope you're hungry, roomie, because to celebrate the occasion of you moving in here, I decided to spend a little extra on dinner tonight. Well... I actually brought home dinner." she pointed towards the paper bag that she had placed on the coffee table (the paper bag that Santana had been curious to know what contained ever since she saw it), "I seem to remember that you also like... sushi?"

"You bought fucking sushi!?" Santana exclaimed, and she practically couldn't hide her excitement! She and Brittany used to fucking get sushi all the time back home, and she loved it like she loved the blonde. "Fucking A, Berry!" she licked her lips as she practically fell over the table to take a look into the bag.

The diva shook her head, chuckling, "I usually don't spend so much on dinner, it's about saving money where you can, but... This is a new beginning for both of us. You're here to fulfil your dreams, and I will no longer be here to experience this alone. That calls for celebration." she pointed towards the bag, "I got you some different kind of things since I don't know what you like, and I got me the vegan ones. I'm sure you can tell them apart. How about you set that up and I'll fetch us some cold water?"

Nodding, Santana started to get the food out of the bag, practically salivating on it. Damn, Berry really knew how to make her not regret knocking on her door. She had to admit, she had been on the fence about it, but then again, where the fuck else did she have to go than to Berry's apartment, and plus, this was shaping up to be a pretty damn good choice.

Rachel entered the living room again, holding up a water pitcher and two glasses, and she sat down on the couch next to Santana, still smiling brightly. "So you managed to do all of this, but how was your job search?"

Santana held out a pair of chopsticks to the diva and accepted the glass of water that was handed to her. "Oh. Got a job." she nodded, "At _Rusty Rick's._ He needed a new waitress, I needed a job, so all I had to do was charm him with my wicked ways, and that's why I start tomorrow."

Pausing, Rachel gaped at her, with a piece of sushi dangling on the chopsticks a few inches from her mouth. "You got a job already?" she lowered her hand, "Wow Santana! That is absolutely fantastic! Congratulations!"

"Don't sound so fucking surprised, Midget, I've got skills." the Latina replied, swallowing a moan as she tasted a piece of shrimp.

"All I have to show for my day is sore legs from all that dancing and a killing head-ache after being yelled profusely at by my new teacher." she shook her head, "She is horrendous, but I know she's just there to make me better... Doesn't mean it's not a terrifying experience though."

Santana shrugged her shoulders, "She sees your fucking potential, Berry, ya' just need to work your tight butt off to please her. It's for your own good."

Rachel smiled warmly at her. "Oh I know... Thank you though. It'll be nice to have some back-up support from you."

The Latina made a face. She wasn't really aware that being the room-mate also got her a job as back-up supporter, but she had to take it. It wasn't really her thing, but what the fuck could she do about it? Apparently Rachel needed back-up support, and what the hell, perhaps she'd need Rachel and her pushy ways as well? She wanted to work on her dream, and maybe that would be easier with some of that – what was it Rachel called it? - back-up support? "Oh yeah. Back-up support... That's _me_." she winced.

The diva laughed and took another piece of sushi into her mouth. "I found a nickname for you by the way." she teasingly said, before she swallowed her food and turned to Santana with a giant smile on her face. "I needed something to take my mind off that gruesome dance-lesson today, so I pushed through it while I amused myself by making up names for you."

Santana chuckled. "Alright..." she said, nodding her head; she couldn't wait to hear this, hear what Rachel had made up. It was probably going to be hilarious in the nerdy kind of way, since the diva's idea of funny was far from her idea of funny. "Hit me then, Berry. What are your suggestions?"

She smiled sheepishly at her, "After much debate..." she trailed off, wriggling her eyebrows, "I ended with Satana Hopez." she paused, "Or either if I'm feeling less particular. I thought that since you have so many options for me, I should be creative for you."

Laughing, Santana was actually impressed. "Alright, Dwarf..." she trailed off, leaning back in the couch and taking in the entire apartment – her new home. "I guess that's good then. We'll be good together. Midget and Satana."

"Yes." Rachel nodded, "We will be."

Santana wasn't even lying, when she said it – she was positive; they were going to be just fine.

* * *

_Alright everybody! Thank you so much for tuning in! I'm back with another Pezberry – this time they're slightly older and ready for an adventure in New York :) this story is going to be settled around both of them, and I will feature point of views from both girls as I did in this chapter, and I'm going to focus on their relationship, Rachel's struggles in school and how Santana will strive to find her dream. _

_Anyway! Leave me your thoughts and I'll try to update as soon as possible :) _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

That thing about taking orders from other people? Yes, Santana had never been good at that.

She was only on her first day of working at the café, but she was already hating doing whatever the fuck that boy in charge told her to. He was a prick with ugly hair and she naturally hated him already, just because Rick had him in charge. Now. Had it been Rick to order her around, she could have lived with that. He was a nice old man, and his humour was exactly her cup of tea.

But on the bright side of everything, she loved her uniform; a black dress with a red apron on top, and she could wear whichever shoes she wanted. So if she was feeling glamorous she could wear pumps, and if she was feeling bad-ass she could wear her Converse.

Talking to the customers was sort of okay too. She didn't like when the yelled for to fill their cups with coffee for the free refill, but she liked flirting to cute guys and girls, and making sure that everyone was watching her as she walked through the place. She was taking everything as it came; learning how to remember the orders and how to fill the cups without spilling. She was going to learn to work the counter in a few weeks, because it was a little more difficult than just serving out orders.

She had been scooping out the place the entire day, trying to figure out what made it trig. During small breaks and in-between customers, Santana had been talking to some of the other waitresses, and while they had been eager to talk all about themselves, they had also answered her questions about _Rusty Rick's_ and what it was all about. Rick was a very loved man in the neighbourhood, because every Sunday when he closed shop, he'd give the left-overs to the homeless, and people just generally loved his spirit and the affordable prices. When he had open on weekend nights and served a little alcohol, it wasn't where young people went to get drunk, it was where people came if they wanted to share a drink and just relax.

The small stage he had in the shop would sometimes feature small acts; just for fun, people who were amateurs who wanted to share their passion for something. Santana made a note of that to herself; she knew that this wasn't the place where she'd get discovered, but it was definitely a good place to start out and get a feel of it – get used to being on stage alone instead of among the other members of Glee. She still wasn't sure exactly what she was going to do with her dream, but when she found out, it would be fucking nice to have this option. She wasn't going to think about that right now, she didn't have the energy for it.

She was just managing to drag herself up the stairs to the apartment, completely and entirely beat. Working, like really working with a real fucking job, it was sort of tiring. She was sore in her legs, she had a sore shoulder from pouring all that coffee, and she sort of stank of cookies and brownies and what the hell else they sold. But she was pleased with herself. For the frigging first time in a long while, she was really _pleased_ with herself. She'd never busted her ass off in high school, she'd just went along with school, gotten mediocre grades, but only really excelled in cheerleading and getting drunk and putting out. This was going to be a new leaf for her; she was still going to get drunk and put out, but she was also going to work.

Sticking the key into the lock, she turned it around and pushed the door open with her shoulder. She felt like she was blown away by the loud music streaming out to meet her and she threw her bag on the floor and kicked the door close. She tried to put a name to the ABBA song as she turned the lock and concluded pretty quickly that it was _Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! _and when she stuck her head into their modest living room, she wasn't surprised to see Rachel working her ass off.

The lithe girl had the music blasting, and the windows into the backyard with all the garbage cans and the trash were open. She was moving on the floor, she had pushed all the furniture aside, and sweat was dripping off of her, coating her bare shoulders and stomach in a glistening layer of sweat. Her shorts and training bra were soaked through, and her hair was whipping from side to side as she moved her body.

Rachel wasn't even noticing her. She was in her own world, dancing to the music. She kept repeating the same step over and over, stubbornly forcing herself to get it right. She never seemed satisfied though, and Santana couldn't help but watch her for a few minutes, trying to see if she could get what really went on inside the brunette's head, but it was so difficult to figure out. She had to admit that Rachel was looking hot though. She was a little bit turned on right now.

Well, she couldn't stand there and ogle her body all day. Santana practically crawled against the wall to avoid her rapid movements, before she reached Rachel's laptop on the coffee table. The diva had plugged speakers into it, which explained why the music was so loud, and Santana bent down to pause it. The second the music stopped, Rachel turned around with a fierce jump. She looked confused at first, but the second she realised it was Santana who was the cause of her abrupt stop, she visibly relaxed.

"Santana, hi." She said and swiped a hand across her forehead to wipe the sweat off.

The Latina chuckled, "Wow Berry-cakes, you look hot…" she smirked, "In more ways than one."

Sighing heavily, Rachel brushed the hair out of her face, "I do not have patience for your mediocre attempts of sexy-talk tonight." She pointed towards the laptop, "Can you turn that on again? I need to get these steps down by tomorrow." She said, and turned her back towards the other girl.

Santana glared at her. "That's fucking it? You're not going to ask me how my fucking first day was?" she shook her head, "I expected more of you, Midget." She continued to annoy her with a smile on her face (she could tell that Rachel was wound up tight, it was… fun to tease her when she was like that). "Some roommate you are."

Rachel completely ignored her comments, and just repeated, "Can you turn that on again?"

"Nah." Santana replied and fell onto the couch, crossing one leg over the other, and watching the diva with joy. It was the best thing about living with Rachel – teasing her. She took everything to heart so easily! "Not before you ask me about my first day at work."

Still not turning around to look her in the eye, Rachel continued, "Just turn it on Santana, I really don't have time for this."

The Latina chuckled on the inside, "But I have _plen_-ty of time…" she wriggled her eyebrows, "I'm off for today! So what do you say? How about you be a good roomie and sit down and talk to me?" she patted the sofa next to her and attempted to win the other girl over.

Seriously, they were living together, and Rachel was the only person Santana really knew – they had to interact and talk about their days! Just like she used to do with Brittany before she went down on her. It'd be nice to do the same with Rachel. Y'know, talk about her day, not go down on her. Although that probably wouldn't be too horrible either, she _was_ a closeted hottie after all…

"Santana, for the love of God!" she hissed and turned around on the spot, glaring at her, "Just turn the music on when I tell you to! I really need to perfect this routine by tomorrow or my teacher is going to hate me even more, and I swear, I cannot take any more of her constant nagging me to do better when I'm already doing my best!"

Taken aback by the entire rant that the diva had just said, Santana had no idea what so say – she just looked at the other girl with wide eyes. She had no idea that Rachel was that frustrated, otherwise she wouldn't have teased her (alright, maybe she would've), but was that really tears she saw in Rachel's eyes now? Or had the sweat just dripped in there? She swallowed loudly, "Alright, Rachy, calm down…"

"_I will not calm down_!" Rachel angrily exclaimed as she stomped her foot into the floor, "Don't tell me to calm down!" she bid her lip then, averting her eyes from Santana's, and as she buried her head in her hands, a sniffle escaped her, "You don't get it…" she whispered, "I need to get this right, okay? She's on my case all the time, and the only way to get her to leave me alone, is to do this perfectly tomorrow." She looked up again, and now those were definitely tears streaming down her face. "So just… let me practice, please?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Santana said then, reaching out her hand for the other girl, "Come here, Rach… Sit down for a second." She softly persuaded. She could tell that the diva was very upset, and she'd probably only fuelled that by kidding with her. But that wasn't right. Santana felt that it was her duty – as the newly chosen roommate – to help make her feel better and ease her worries. "Come here." She repeated and waved her hand insistently.

Letting a sigh go, Rachel grabbed Santana's hand and fell down on the couch next to her. She leaned her forehead against Santana's arm and breathed loudly in and out for a few seconds. She clearly needed to calm down somehow, and it seemed like this was the way to go, so the Latina awkwardly held an arm around her in support, letting her get it out. It was kind of nasty, because she was so sweaty, but what can you do? Once your midget roommate has a problem, you gotta step up your game, right?

"Alright…" she whispered then, softer than she usually would have whispered anything, "Tell aunty Santy what's up! Who's this nasty evil teacher?"

Looking up at her with wide, wet eyes, Rachel started mumbling into her shoulder, "Her name is Cassadra July, and she's brilliant…" Rachel trailed off, and her voice was so small, like a child's, "She'd be able to teach me so many things… If it wasn't for the fact that she seems to hate me."

Raising an eyebrow, Santana could barely hide her amusement. "Hate? _You_? Really?"

Rachel just shot her a glare, "You make fun of me, but if you were there, you'd see it, too. She's so much harder on me than she is on any other student!" she pulled back then, shaking her head to herself, "It's just not fair!"

Santana shrugged, "Not every teacher will like you, Rachel. You can't please them all."

"Look, I know that dancing is my least strong asset in the performing arts," Rachel begun, eagerly rattling her thoughts off, "but that's why I need her to make me better, not humiliate me in front of all the other students!"

Perhaps Rachel was taking things a little too personal and making a big deal out of nothing, but Santana wasn't exactly equipped to handle that. One thing was to be a good roommate, but nowhere had she signed on for this kind of emotional behaviour! "You just gotta fucking do it then." She replied, shrugging her shoulders and looking down at the visibly upset girl in her arms. "Just prove to her that you can be a good dancer."

Rachel's lower lip was quivering dangerously, "But I'll never be good enough! That's what she keeps saying! This was already going on before you got here, you don't know half of it."

"_Stop_ crying for fuck's sake!" Santana exclaimed then, looking perplexingly down at her "That's not helping anyone, least of all yourself, you'll only get dehydrated." She poked the diva in the side with a finger and continued, "You also need to relax, Dwarf. So hows abouts I start dinner, and until we eat, you can fucking tear the living room floor apart-" she paused, crooking an eyebrow, "-but when the food's done, you're frigging finished for today. We gots a deal?"

The brunette seemed to think about it for a second, "That sounds reasonable, I guess."

Smirking, Santana continued, "I'm nothing but reasonable, baby. And just so you know, once we're eating and everything, I'ma tell you _all _abouts my day at work."

Slipping off the couch, Rachel was smiling again, "That sounds fair enough." She replied, as she went into the middle of the floor again and turned her back towards the Latina, "Now can you turn that on again, please?"

**X**

"You and Santana?" Quinn questioned, disbelief lacing her every word, "Living together?"

"Yes."

"_Without_ killing each other?"

"Yes, Quinn!"

The blonde paused for a second, "We _are_ talking about the same Santana right? Santana Lopez? From high school? The bitchy cheerleader who used to call you every nickname in the book?"

Rachel sighed heavily, "Yes Quinn. _Exactly_ that Santana Lopez."

"But I don't get it." The blonde softly stated, "How's that going to work? You'll claw each other's eyes out! You do remember how she treated you?"

The diva nodded, "I sure do, Quinn. I also remember how _you_ treated me, but we're friends now. So are Santana and I. I care about her, and this is a good thing for both of us. Don't ruin it."

Quinn chuckled on the other end of the phone, "Alright Rach, I won't say another word. I just hope that you guys are both alive by Christmas."

Giggling, Rachel tugged her phone between her ear and shoulder and started to gather the remains of her lunch together. She'd been sitting outside on a bench by herself, enjoying the rest of the good weather before fall came, and although she had enjoyed the quiet time, she had felt sort of alone, and thus chosen to call Quinn on the phone. It worked out well, because the blonde was also on break. She had only eaten a light lunch, because she had to return to the gruelling dance class where neither teacher nor students seemed to appreciate her very much.

It was the class she absolutely loathed the most at the moment. Now - her singing class was fantastic, but that was mostly because she was truly outstanding and blew everyone away. Her teacher simply adored her, and he had already offered her private lessons on Tuesdays after her last class.

"We most likely will be." She replied, nodding her head. She was liking living with Santana already; the company was nice, and once she got used to Santana's… uh, _different_ way of behaving, it was quite entertaining, "You should come out here one weekend, we can go out. You can see my school and – and you can see the café that Santana got a job at."

Quinn laughed loudly, "Yeah I still can't believe that Santana actually got a job!"

Rachel was quite in awe of that as well; Santana had never striken her as a person who really enjoyed work of any kind, but it was nice to see that even _she_ was growing up, "I can't believe it either, but she actually goes there. In the mornings, quite unhappily, but she goes." She paused, biting her lip, "I think she quite likes it actually, she definitely likes her boss."

The blonde girl replied, "Yeah. Sounds about right from what she texted me." She paused, "Anyway Rach, I gotta head to class now. And you have to dance your butt off in there, okay?"

"Sure." Rachel sighed. She hated to admit this, but she wasn't much looking forward to going back in there. Everybody in that room seemed to dislike her for whatever reason. She had never been a very loved student, but being this hated was a new thing to her. She'd sort of grown accustomed to having at least a few friends.

"Get back to me on that weekend, alright?" Quinn softly said to her, and Rachel knew that she was only trying to cheer her up with her kind words and voice (though, surely, she did want to come for a weekend and sleep on their couch and eat their food), "I'd love to see your school and what you've been working on."

The diva hummed, "Alright Quinn, talk to you later. Love you."

"Love you too." Quinn replied, before she hung up the phone and Rachel was left with nothing but silence.

She took a sip of her water bottle, trying to regain the strength to go back inside, before she threw everything into her duffel bag and decided she better do it. She'd just wrapped her coat around herself, so she was still in tights and her training bra. She was so tired. She was sort of looking forward to the weekend now, and she had decided to give herself an entire day off where her mind was going to be off school completely.

She threw her bag on her shoulder and turned around to stand up – only to bump right into someone, thus causing this person to drop all of their belongings onto the grass.

"Oh my God, I'm so, so, so-so-so sorry!" Rachel quickly shrieked and threw her bag onto the ground, only to kneel down and help this person – a girl with apparent flaming red hair – gather all of her papers.

The girl smiled at her, "No worries, I was… I was re-reading a short manuscript that we have to turn in today, so I wasn't really looking."

Rachel grabbed the girl's wallet – seemingly the last item on the ground – and handed it to her, "Oh me neither, I was…dreading going back to dance class." She stood up then, and so did the other girl, whose hands were filled with all of her papers, and they were messed up, sticking out in every possible direction, "I'm… I'm Rachel by the way."

"Oh I know you." The girl smiled, and her eyes were almost black behind her big round glasses. She had a kind round face, with soft features and freckles covered her nose in a charming way, "I'm Alexis by the way."

Confused, Rachel pushed on, "You know me?"

Alexis nodded, "Yeah! I'm uh – I'm studying here as a script writer obviously, and uh, we're already starting to work on getting directors from that course to film one of our projects, and I'm one of those people who wants to have my hands in everything, so I was just… I went through some of the profiles of the other students here and your picture caught my attention. Rachel Berry, right?"

Rachel nodded eagerly, "Yeah I'm here for… Stage acting so to speak, dancing, acting, singing."

"A real triple threat." Alexis laughed.

The diva tugged a piece of her hair behind her ear, "Yes you can say that."

Alexis smiled shyly at her, "I heard from some of the others that your teacher is being hard on you."

"Everyone's being hard on me." Rachel replied, shrugging her shoulder, "I mean, I'm used to not being the most liked person in school, but I usually have _one_ friend to back me up." She made a face, trying to pretend that it was no big deal, even though she hated the fact that she wasn't better at making friends, "People just don't like me, I guess."

The other girl smiled warmly at her, "I guess they just dislike you because you're more talented. I mean – I saw your videos on the school's student page. You have an amazing voice! That can be frightening to some people."

Rachel could feel herself flush slightly at the compliment, which was weird since she never used to flush when people preached her talent, "Thank you." She honestly said. Perhaps she had really needed to hear that from someone here, she wasn't sure. But she felt better now.

Alexis continued, "And you have a friend in me now." She tugged her papers closer to her chest, "We should totally hang, I think that that… could be beneficial for both of us. Would you be – interested in helping me with my first manuscript?"

That sounded absolutely fantastic! As soon as she started doing these things, perhaps she'd meet some people who appreciated her. And she needed to get involved in as many things as possible – it'd definitely help her when she graduated and had to find jobs, "Sure! I'd love to! It's all about getting experience, right?"

"Great." Alexis said then and she awkwardly searched her pockets, careful not to drop her things yet again. After a few seconds, she seemed to find what she was looking for, "Here," she softly said, sticking out a card, "It has all my information on that. Give me a call, we should get coffee one day to sort of… Get to know each other."

Rachel happily reached for the small card, and as she did so, Alexis' fingers graced hers, and the other girl flushed a little. "Thank you." Rachel smiled, sticking the card into her duffel bag. "I'm just… I better get to class, but I'll definitely call you! Tonight?"

Alexis nodded eagerly, "We should eat lunch together sometime next week when I'm not as stressed with this manuscript, how does that sound?"

"Perfect." Rachel replied, and Alexis smiled at her one more time, before she pushed pass her and towards one of the other buildings. The diva couldn't help but watch her go for a few seconds, feeling entirely pleased that she had just made her first friend in New York. Perhaps things could only get better for her now. It was definitely with renewed bounce in her steps that she returned to dance class.

**X**

It had all started with Rick saying 'Hey Santana, I'm going to need you to work Friday night' and that's how her first weekend in New York City was booked with work. It sucked, because she had hoped to go out or something, if she could tear Rachel away from her dancing, but now she was working, so Rachel could dance her feet bloody for all she cared.

It was sort of okay though, because there was an incredible atmosphere at _Rusty Rick's_ this Friday night. This duo of an act (a boy on the guitar, and a girl singing) was performing, and the music was nice and cosy and it fitted right in. Santana had been running back and forth, and around like crazy all night because they were short on staff for whatever reason. People were in a good mood, so she could sort of look past their orders, but she still had to get used to being someone's bitch.

Hand me this, give me that, I order now, I refill later. Yadda yadda yadda.

She'd scored a girl's phone number though. Apparently she did look fucking hot in her uniform, because when she returned to wipe down the table they had been at, she'd left a big tip and scribbled her number on the receipt.

Everything was sort of crazy though, the last week had been. She knew that living on her own took lots and lots of fucking hard work (which she wasn't a big fan of), but this first week had been crazy. Perhaps it was just because she had to get used to being here and all that crap, but it wasn't exactly like she had thought it would be. It'd probably get a lot fucking better though, right? She sure as fuck hoped so.

It's not like she and Rachel had had much time to bond either. Rachel was always gone during the day, and Santana had been working most nights this week, again – they were short on staff. It's not like she wished for them to spend every frigging moment together, but she was also realistic; since they were living together, they had to have a relationship of some sort, otherwise everything would blow up in their faces.

She was just taking a breather and some fresh air in the back alley, when Rick called her in again.

"Santana, I know you're on your break, but I need you, we have a full house tonight." He said, as he poked his head outside through the open doorway.

The Latina wiped her forehead off with the back of her hand, "Sure thing, boss." She replied, licking her lips, "You know how much I appreciate this job."

Rick padded her on the back, "I'm happy I hired you, Lopez, you work hard, because you know that to make it in life, you have to work hard. I feel like I can count on ya'."

Santana shrugged her shoulders, "Nothing comes free, Rick. And I wanna make it, and until I do, I have to work for it."

He glanced down at her with a sideways grin, "You've got your head screwed on right, I like that." He held the door open for her, and just as she was about to enter back into the counter again, he added, "By the way, there's a young woman waiting outside for you… Says her name is Rachel and that since she's your roommate, she deserves a discount?" he chuckled, clearly amused by Rachel's personality, "I told her you had to verify that. She was not pleased."

The Latina couldn't hide her smirk, "That's my roommate, she's… something fucking else." She paused, "I'ma go handle that, tell her she gets no discount."

Rick laughed at her, "Nah, she's a firecracker and I like that. Give her the discount."

Santana chuckled all the way into the counter again; Rachel really was something else, and Santana just loved that she'd fucking showed up at her work and demanded a discount. The best frigging part was that she was actually there though. Santana hadn't expected that, but it was nice to know that the diva cared enough to step by, to see where she worked, how she spent her days. It just proved that they really were becoming very good friends and roommates. Santana was never fucking going to admit it to anymore, but that girl meant a whole frigging lot to her.

Rachel was standing with her back to the counter, probably watching the duo act on stage, and Santana crept up behind her and said, "Something about a discount?"

The diva jumped in surprise and turned around to look at Santana with a hand upon her – without a doubt – speeding heart. "You gave me a fright!" she hissed, but she was smiling all the same.

The Latina gave her a once-over and had to pause when she realised what she was wearing. "Hold on a sec…" she trailed off, raising an eyebrow, "Are you wearing my _top_? You look nice, don't get me wrong, but… Damn Berry."

"I figured that if I had to visit you at your new and important job, I'd have to dress accordingly." She replied, dusting some invisible wrinkles out of the top, "Should I have rather worn my legwarmers in front of your boss?"

"You are welcome to wear my clothes anytime you visit me here." Santana quickly replied, which caused the brunette to break into a stream of giggles. "Anyway," the Latina continued, "Rick usually don't hand out discounts to every pretty face, but he says you're firecracker and he likes that, so – you now have a discount!"

A giant smile appeared on Rachel's face then, "I do? Tell him thanks."

"Since you're not old enough to get alcohol here, what do you want?" Santana questioned.

"Just a coke, and to see you in action." Rachel replied, tiptoeing up and leaning over the counter to whisper into her ear, "Quinn wants all the details. She says she cannot believe you are working before I have told her what I have seen with my own two eyes."

_Damn Quinn. _Santana chuckled. "Alright, grab a free table, Midget, and I'll bring you one, but-" she held out a finger to stress her point, "-don't expect me to start waitressing you at home too!"

Rachel winked at her, "I wouldn't dream of it!"

Santana watched her go as she searched the place for an empty seat, and she couldn't help but notice that the other girl had seemed a little happier since yesterday. She wasn't sure why that was, but maybe things were finally looking up for her at school? She sure as fuck deserved that anyway! They both deserved that. And despite all of Santana's own complaints about taking orders, she knew that she could hardly find a better job than this one.

"Hey, Lopez, two beers at table ten!" Rick yelled from the other end of the counter, and gave her that certain look.

Saluting him, Santana grabbed a tray, "Sure thing, boss. Coming right up!"

* * *

_I am so sorry about the slight delay – I got caught up in writing a Faberry oneshot that I just couldn't get out of my head. But here is the second chapter anyway, and I hope you all like it! I'm sort of still just getting the background for this story up, introducing characters that will be playing a part, introducing the places (: _

_Anyway – please leave me your thoughts; I'd love to know what you think! Btw, Cassandra July is of course my version of Kate Hudson's character in season four – I have no way of knowing what she's going to be like, but I see has a teacher who's ready to challenge Rachel, so that is my reason for how she's acting in this piece already. _

_Next chapter might be late as well, because I am starting university this week, for my bachelor's degree, and that wills surely be taking up a lot of my time! Hopefully I can squeeze some writing in as well, but I do also have work and a girlfriend to take care of! :-D I am just apologising in advance already ;-) _

_**Dislciamer; **__I don't own Glee._


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

"Rise and shine, Santana Lopez!" Rachel happily chipped as she stepped into their joined bedroom, swept right by the passed-out girl in the bed and let the shades roll up with a smack. She turned around and stared expectantly down at the other girl. "Up and Adam!" she continued to say – she couldn't have Santana stay in bed until four pm where she had to get up for her evening shift at work, no! She needed the other girl awake and happy, because she was ready for them the explore the city together. It was finally the weekend, she had packed a picnic basket, and she wanted them to go to central park together. "Santana! Hallo!?"

Squinting her eyes to keep the beaming sun away, Santana groaned, "Midget, I swear to all that is fucking holy, if you don't pull down that shade again, I'ma roll right out of this bed and kick your ass."

"Perfect," Rachel just repeated and reached a finger out to poke the other girl on the arm, "out of bed is exactly where I want you to be. I don't care what your reason is, or how you perform the task, just that you're dressed and ready for a day of fun in about twenty minutes." she paused, "I hope you don't have to shower."

Opening her eyes and rolling over, Santana glared up at her, "You have got to be fucking kidding me, Berry!" she spat, and her brown eyes were shooting lightnings, "Why the crap are you waking me up now? I don't have to be at work until later!"

Sitting down on the side of the bed, Rachel took in a deep breath and got ready to persuade Santana into joining her. "It's such a warm and sunny day outside. It's the weekend, and you've been here in New York for a few weeks now, and we still haven't had time to explore the city. I want to explore the city, don't you?"

Santana frowned, "Sure I wanna exploring the frigging city, but not right now!"

"Yes, _right _now!" Rachel continued before she hopped off the bed, pulled the covers off the other girl and said, "I have two coffees ready in those thermo-mugs I brought us, I also made breakfast for a picnic. You're going to get ready now, and we'll eat it together in Central Park. Okay Santana?"

The other girl seemed to muse that over for a few seconds, lying there in their bed, clearly not happy with the fact that this was happening on her Sunday morning, but eventually managed to pull herself onto her elbows so she was sitting halfway-up. "Alright Berry-cakes, but this breakfast better be fucking good!"

Rachel broke into a little cheer, and hurried into the kitchen to finish packing the rest of their things, and approximately sixty minutes later, they were sitting in Central Park – among many other people; families, lovers, friends – enjoying their breakfast. She had made everything she knew the Latina liked; she'd really tried to make it worth her while, and it seemed like Santana was enjoying it, so perhaps the mission was really accomplished.

There was lots of more coffee in the thermos, and there was fruit, and home-made bread with cheese for Santana and peanut-butter for herself, and all in all, it was very wonderful, because the sun was at its best for this time of year.

"You make fucking good bread, Berry," Santana said then, as she stuffed another piece of it into her bed, loudly enjoying it, "I mean, I know there's some of that vegan crap in it, but I can hardly taste the difference. It's really frigging awesome."

"Thank you for your compliment on my cooking skills, Santana." Rachel replied, as she slowly bit into a piece of melon, careful not to get too much fruit juice all over herself. "Have you given any thought into what you want to do today? Any things you're particularly interested in seeing?"

Santana took a long sip of her coffee and seemed to think about it for a few seconds, "I don't know. I haven't really had much time to think since you ambushed me this morning, I mean – my brain can hardly function before 11am and without coffee so..." she trailed off and made a show of checking her watch, "We're just about around that time now."

Rachel shook her head and reached forward to gently slap Santana's hand away, "You're so mean!" she said, "There must be something you're wondering about! You've been here for a few weeks now... All you've done is work, and I've been busy with school!"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I really don't know, Berry. Honestly... I've just tried to get into this work thing and set my days up around that, all the while trying to figure out... what I'm going to do with my life because I sure as hell know that working at _Rusty Rick's_ ain't gonna be it."

"That's a good thing, Santana." Rachel replied, nodding her head. She was proud of the other girl for getting a job so quickly and bringing some money home for them so they weren't going to starve, but it was also important that she never lost focus – she had to find her way in life, she had to figure out how she was going to achieve her dream of working in the entertainment business. "Have you giving any thought of what you want do to?"

"Something with music." the other girl said. "I'm sure. I mean... I thought it was fun writing _Trouty Mouth_ back in high school. I could do that, couldn't I?" she paused, squinting her eyes towards the sun and soaking in the vitamin D, "Write my own music and perform it?"

Rachel pushed a piece of her hair back and said, "I think you would be an excellent singer/songwriter. You're quite extra-ordinary, Santana." she continued, looking sincerely at the other girl, "You have a very particular voice, it's not so mainstream, and I think people will like that. I'm positive that you can write amazing lyrics as well, the only thing that concerns me is..." she paused, trailing off.

Queering, Santana pushed on, "Is what?"

Rachel swallowed, "You don't play an instrument, do you?"

The Latina shook her head.

"Most singer/songwriters do. It's important that you know how to put music to your lyrics. It doesn't have to be much, you just have to get by as you make your way up – just until you're big enough to get someone to play for you." she smiled at the other girl, trying to reassure her, let her know that it wasn't as hopeless as it seemed right now. It really didn't have to be much. She just had to be able to play her own music if needed, "I suppose you should think about getting guitar lessons. You can do it very intensively, two times a week, maybe three, it will come to you quickly, you already have an ear for music."

Santana bit her lip, consumed in her own thoughts for a few seconds. It was probably a lot to take in for her, and Rachel knew that the other girl had been so swamped with work that she hadn't had the energy to do anything else. It was just a shame, Rachel thought, because the other girl had so much potential, and it was just being wasted if she didn't do anything to evolve it. The Latina breathed out, "You really think I should do that?"

Rachel nodded eagerly. She didn't know what it was with Santana, but it seemed like the other girl needed a push, needed someone to remind her to keep going; otherwise she'd just be at a standstill. She was way too talented to stagnate, she needed to grow instead. "I really think so. I should try to see if anyone from NYADA offers private lessons. That way you'd help a struggling student pay his bills. How does that sound?"

"Fucking A." Santana replied, before she reached for a piece of melon and fell onto their blanket. She let out a contend sight as she rested on her back.

The brunette followed her example; she grabbed a handful of nuts and laid down on her back, her head next to Santana's. She closed her eyes and silence overtook them as the rays of sun danced on her closed eyelids. She could feel her face growing warm in the midday sun, and even though there were still so many things they both needed to figure out, and even though things were still rough at school, everything just seemed wonderful. She'd had her doubts about Santana coming here, but it was nice – she had a partner, a friend who was going through all of this with her.

"Santana?" she whispered, as she carefully bit a walnut in half.

The other girl only had half a mind to answer, "Mhmm?"

Swallowing, Rachel continued, "Have you even talked to Brittany since you got here?"

Her room-mate didn't answer, and even though there were lots of times where Santana didn't answer because she didn't deem her question important enough, Rachel knew that this time it wasn't like that. She knew exactly_ why _Santana didn't answer, because her silence said everything.

"You _haven't _talked to her?" she whispered, and she really couldn't believe the other girl's nerve. Of course it had to be tough for her, giving up her love for Brittany by taking this jump, but it really wasn't fair to the blonde girl. "Santana, that's... that's sort of mean. She has to be wondering about you."

"Don't even bother, trying to give me guilt, alrights?" Santana cut her off, snappingly, "I haven't called her, 'cuz I need to set her free. I need to be set free." she paused, before she added, "Besides, Puck told me that she's already back with Wheels, so they're probably happy right now. And she deserves that, doesn't she?"

Rachel hummed, "If Artie is truly the one she wants to be with, then that's fine." she paused, "But if it's really you, then..."

"Look." Santana firmly said, and her voice was rough, "Brittany will always have a certain spot in my heart, she'll always be my first love, but... We're not meant to be together. Brittany needs to find a man, because that is truly what _she_ wants. And I need to find a girl who's into girls. Someone who's not just bi-curious."

Smiling, Rachel couldn't help but feel a sense of pride because of the mature way that Santana had decided to handle this. "That sounds reasonable, I guess." she whispered. Her heart still broke a little bit for Brittany though, because even if the blonde girl was never meant to end up with Santana, she still loved her, and she deserved to know how she was doing.

The other girl snorted. "Then just don't mention Brittany again before I bring her up. Gots it?"

Rachel licked lips, "I understand." she softly replied. She didn't want to push Santana any further than she had already done – she felt like she'd just pushed her luck a great deal. Of course she only wanted the other girl to open up so that they could have a healthy talk about it, but if Santana didn't want to, Santana didn't want to. She just hoped that one day they'd be able to discuss exactly what they were both feeling – even if the other girl thought that it was better to keep such things private.

Santana popped her tongue then, before she twisted her head slightly to the side, squinted her eyes open and looked at her, "Is this the time where I'm supposed to ask you about Finnocence?" she questioned, and there was a certain amount of hostility in her voice.

She felt her heart speed up slightly, as it always did when someone mentioned Finn (lately it had been Kurt during their phone calls, because Finn had called home one evening, but that was all they had heard from him). She missed him, but she was also so thankful towards him. It was his fault that she was where she was right now, laying in the park with Santana, being a student at NYADA. Hadn't he forced her, she would have stayed back and waited for him. And she was starting to see that that would have been entirely wrong for her; it wasn't her path in life. This was what she was meant to be doing.

This. Right here, right now. With Santana – apparently.

"You can ask about Finn." she replied, licked her lips and tasting the left-over salt from the nuts she had just eaten, "I'm... Over him. I love him, but I've accepted that it can't be us. We're headed in two different directions. He's a country boy, I was made for the city. I just... I'm just thankful that I'm here now, and not back in Lima, married to Finn. I would have regretted that."

Santana snorted. "Ya' think?"

Rachel decided to ignore her sarcastic comment, and just continued, "I love him, I still do. And like you said with Brittany, Finn will always have a special place in my heart, because he was my first love." she trailed off, thinking to herself, trying to reminisce in the feelings that Finn used to give her, "But I've moved on. I'm ready to meet someone new if it happens. I won't be looking for love, but if it finds me... Then I'll be ready."

Reaching a hand over, Santana snapped her fingers, "Give me some of those nuts, Dwarf. And _stat_."

Chuckling, Rachel grabbed the bag of mixed nuts from besides her on the blanket, and blindly dropped them onto Santana's stomach, "Don't order me around." she fired right back, but she was enjoying this immensely. She didn't know why it was, but the relationship she had with Santana – it worked somehow. Even if they got on each other's nerves and people thought that they'd end up killing each other. She was sure they wouldn't. There was just something about Santana that she really loved – she couldn't explain what it was, they just fitted somehow. Their differences made them such perfect friends.

"Hey!" Santana screeched, as she dug her hands into the bag. "You better watch that attitude." she continued, as she stuffed her mouth full of nuts and tried to chew while talking.

Hiding her smile, Rachel avoided replying to her, "So have you thought about our plans for today?"

Santana was quiet for a few seconds, "I don't know..." she softly murmured, "I'm kinda liking the sun... How about just staying right where we are?"

Rachel couldn't believe it; that was exactly what she had been thinking.

**X**

She was nervously tripping, looking from side to side, trying to spot the girl with the red hair, the girl whom she was waiting for. She'd already ordered two cups of coffee when Alexis told her that she was running late, and she'd decided to get them in take-away mugs, because she figured that taking a walk was a bit more safe than sitting down together.

It was – after all – the first time that she would be meeting Alexis for real; their short encounter when she knocked her things to the ground didn't really count in her book, no – now they were meeting for coffee to sort of get to know each other and perhaps discuss how Rachel was going to be of help with Alexis' manuscript.

She checked her watch again, and tried to juggle the two coffees, and when she looked up, she was surprised to find Alexis standing a few feet from her, watching her with an amused grin on her face.

"Alexis! Hi!" she replied, and as she stepped closer, she handed out one of the coffees. "I got it black for you, I hope you don't mind."

"Black is perfect." Alexis replied, and she had a sideways grin on her face, "You look cute when you're tripping." she replied, and there was a glint in her eye, "You're sort of clumsy, aren't you? First you bump into me and now you almost drop our drinks?"

Rachel felt herself blush slightly as she glanced up at the other girl through her bangs, "I tend to be clumsy sometimes... That's why my dancing skills are particularly lacking. I can fall over my own feet while walking a plain surface."

Alexis giggled, "Why am I not surprised?" she asked, but it didn't need an answer, she simply continued, "Thank you for the coffee. Are we walking?"

Rachel pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, "I thought so." she replied, and just like that, they started walking down the street, shoulder by shoulder. She was silent for a few seconds, before she spoke up again, "So... I know you're a writer. But tell me about yourself."

The red-headed girl shrugged her shoulders and took a short sip of her coffee. "I'm really not that interesting. Sort of a wall-flower. I like to watch other people shine. I'm from Idaho..." she she licked her lips, "Grew up with my mother and my step-father. They're both teachers in high school. My twin brother is now following in their footsteps. I'm sort of... The odd one out, always has been... with my uhm... Artistic ways."

Rachel glanced up at her, "You have a twin brother... That's so cool!"

Alexis shrugged. "Nah, not really... But he's a great brother. They're a great family... They all love me and support my dreams in this city, so that's pretty cool, I guess." she paused, "Now tell me about your family..."

Chuckling, Rachel felt herself thinking about her fathers and how difficult it was without being with them all the time, without having them with her constantly. She was so used to their support, to their advice, and their hugs all the time. "I'm one of those... turkey-baster kids." she whispered, staring into the pavement, and not wanting to meet Alexis' eyes. She wasn't ashamed of her family, she never had been, but it was always risky to talk about her family with people she had just met, because it was never easy to know when she was going to meet someone who disapproved of it. "I have two fathers... Leroy and Hiram are their names. Growing up in Lima, it wasn't easy being the child of a homosexual couple, but they made it as wonderful for me as they could. I'm an only child, so naturally I was spoiled rotten..." she finished, only then looking up to meet Alexis' eyes.

"Your fathers are gay!?" Alexis questioned, and she seemed truly surprised, but not disgusted at all. "That's so cool! Like... I love that people dare to be different, especially in small conservative towns, y'know?" she continued, and her cheeks were spotted pink, she was that eager, "I... Growing up in Idaho wasn't that easy either, it was Georgetown, and... People are just so small-minded sometimes."

Rachel nodded her head. She knew what Alexis was talking about when she said 'small town' and how they were so close minded. She had hated growing up in Lima exactly because of that. "Were there many gay students at your high school?"

Alexis shook her head, her red hair bouncing from side to side. "No." she promptly replied, "No we were just me. Well... I was the only out one anyway."

"You're gay!?" Rachel couldn't help but squeak out; she was surprised. She hadn't exactly seen that one coming. Alexis wasn't the sort of girl you just looked at and knew was a lesbian, she hadn't shown any signs of that, so Rachel had to admit that she was surprised. She couldn't help but be pleased though, because her immediate thought was that... She had to set Alexis up with Santana.

The other girl nodded her head, chuckling slightly, "That bother you?" she asked her then, but there was a glint in her eye once more, because of course she was aware that it wouldn't bother Rachel at all.

Shaking her head, Rachel scrambled to explain herself, "No, I'm... I'm just surprised. But I like it!" she took a sip of her coffee and then continued to say, "My roommate is a lesbian..." she said then, "I think that... That you two should meet each other."

Raising an eyebrow, Alexis seemed skeptic, "Your roommate? Really?"

"Oh don't worry!" Rachel said then, as she could see that Alexis was on the fence about it, "She's incredibly beautiful and sexy. A fierce Latina with an attitude... An interesting date, that's for sure. Here!" she reached into her small bag and quickly retrieved her cell phone. Juggling her coffee in the other hand, she unlocked the phone and quickly scrolled through her photo album to find a perfect picture of Santana. "Her name is Santana Lopez. Isn't she pretty?"

Alexis was quiet for a second as she glanced at the picture. "You're right," she said, "she's beautiful..."

Rachel felt her hesitate, but couldn't by any means understand why. Santana was a fantastic person! Perhaps Alexis just needed some persuasion? "But...?"

"I don't really think she's my type, she's... a hottie." Alexis said then, licking her lips and sipping her coffee, "Don't get me wrong, she's your friend and she's sexy, but... That's not really my type, I'm more... Into another type of girl."

The brunette shook her head. She wasn't taking no for an answer. She knew that Alexis and Santana could have fun together, even if fun was all it led to. "No!" she said, "You'll like her! We're going out soon when our friend Quinn is visiting us! You can come and you'll meet her... It'll be good!"

Alexis didn't seem convinced, but she nodded her head nonetheless. "Alright, if you say so, Rachel... I trust you." she replied, shrugging her shoulders, "Just don't get upset if nothing happens."

"Something will happen! It'll be good." Rachel replied, refusing to believe that this could be anything but meant to be. "So..." she scrambled to continue, to get back to the point of this meeting, "Tell me about this project of yours... I'm ready to do anything, as long as it has nothing to do with nudity and animal cruelty. I'm a vegan, you know, and an animal lover with all of my heart, and..."

**x**

She'd been holding it all the way home from work.

She'd had to pee while she was on the phone with Quinn (finally setting up a day for the blonde to come visit them so they could have that night out in town), and while she was buying a few fresh vegetables that Rachel had texted her to grab on the way home (something about a vegetable pie for dinner). She'd had to pee, badly, for the last twenty minutes or so, and when she finally managed to jiggle her keys into the lock in their front door, she was about ready to burst.

Practically falling into the apartment, she threw her keys and her purse on the floor, carefully placed the vegetables against the wall (because she knew that Rachel would kill her if they went bad), before she smacked the door close, turned the lock, and went straight ahead to their bathroom.

She pushed the door open, already unbuttoning her pants, when she heard someone yelp. Looking up, she paused.

There.

Right in front of her.

Was Rachel.

Butt-naked.

Holy frigging hell. Rachel was standing in front of her, entirely naked, with water dripping from her body, and a towel clutched in one hand. She had a shocked look on her face, and her eyes were wide.

And then she screeched. "Santana!"

Turning around, Santana forgot all about unbuttoning her pants. She could feel a smirk growing on her face already, as she went over the picture of Rachel inside of her head. She hadn't been able to help herself, for that few seconds her eyes had seen Rachel's body, she had taken in every part of it, and she had to admit... What she had seen – it had been damn impressive.

She heard Rachel's frantic movement behind her as the other girl scrambled to cover herself. "Ever heard about knocking!?" Rachel snapped from behind her.

Assuming that she was covered, Santana turned back around, "Berry, I really had to pee, alright? A girl can only hold it for so long..."

"I'm not covered!" Rachel cut her off, and Santana turned back around again, closing her eyes and holding back her grin. She was finding this entirely too amusing, but she couldn't help herself. Rachel was freaking entirely too much about this, and it was just hella funny. Come on! It had to happen one day, didn't it? They were living together! It was bound to happen eventually! "I cannot believe you just walked in here!" Rachel ambushed her from behind.

Santana chuckled, "Sorry, Berry!" she laughed, "But hey, don't be embarrassed, I knew you were in shape and everything, but damn..."

"Leave!" Rachel snapped at her then, and the Latina felt a pair of firm hands on her back, pushing her out of the still open bathroom door, "Leave right now and stop laughing!" she finished, before the door was smacked close, and Santana found herself alone in the hallway.

She still had to pee, but suddenly there were much more pressing, and _interesting_, matters on her mind. Damn, Rachel Berry had a slamming body! And she had _abs_. And she was _completely bare_ down... there. Santana bit her lip to hide her chuckles. Holy fucking hell. Rachel was _sexy_! Turning around, all Santana wanted was to think about Rachel's, apparently, perfect body, but she knew she had to make this okay. She knew that her roommate was sensitive, especially regarding her looks, so this was not something to laugh of. If they were ever going to be okay again, she had to make things right. "Rachel!" she said, hammering a hand onto the closed door, "Don't be upset about this! It happens, alrights? It was bound to happen! If it makes you feel better, I'll show you mine, just like you showed me yours!"

The door was pulled open, and Rachel peeked right outside, her face appearing in the crack between the door and the doorway, "You are _not_ going to show me your naked form, Santana Lopez!" she snapped, before she smacked the door close again.

"Come on, Rach! Don't be stupid!" Santana continued to say, even if all she could think about was the mental imagine of that body, the body that was just right on the other side of that door... "You have nothing to be embarrassed about! You have a very sexy body if ya' wanna hear that at all! Ya' getting that, Berry!? You _just_ received one hell of a compliment from me, the sexiest motherfucker on the planet!"

As the door was pulled open again, Rachel stared out of her, dressed in a pair of loose boxers and a top. Her hair was still wet, and she was furious. "Don't compliment me, okay? Don't even think about it again! I am mortified!"

Santana just stared at her. She was forcing herself, with all her might, not to let her eyes linger below Rachel's face. She wanted to... She really wanted to let them dig lower, where she knew that Rachel's nipples would be peeking through the fabric of her tank top, because she wasn't wearing a bra, not when she had just showered. It was hard though, forcing herself not to look. "Don't... Don't be." she said then, and before she could stop herself, she'd looked.

Rachel gasped and moved her arms to cross them over her chest. "Don't even!" she said, before she rushed pass her, right through their modest living room and right into the bedroom. She smacked the door close behind her, and Santana heard her throw herself onto the bed with a quiet wail.

_Why the fuck does she take everything so badly? _Santana asked herself, and she knew that she had to deal with it, but she really needed to pee. What could she do though? If she didn't tend to Rachel immediately, it would only get worse. She had to prioritize...

Following in the diva's tracks, she knocked gently on the door to their bedroom and leaned her forehead against it. "Rach..." she softly begun, and she really had to force herself to be kind and gentle about this, not smirky and teasing. "Come on..." she whispered, "I didn't really see anything." she lied, "I looked away... Immediately. I swear, I looked away!"

She heard Rachel's sniffle fade away slightly as she offered her a muffled reply, "But you just said that I looked good."

"I know you look good. I can see that through your clothes!" Santana quickly said, just making shit up as she went. She'd never had to deal with anything like this before. Brittany was always eager to strut her stuff around, she hated hiding it, because she knew she looked good! "I didn't really see your boobs."

Rachel was getting off the bed, and before she knew it, the door was opened, and Rachel was looking up at her, with slightly wet lashes. "I know you're just making things up to make me feel better..." she whispered, "But I appreciate the effort."

Santana arched an eyebrow. "So what? Now you're fucking cool with it?"

Shaking her head, Rachel continued, "_No_. I'll never be cool with it. Promise me not to think about my naked, wet body?"

"I promise." Santana immediately slipped out. _Not. _

The brunette sighed, "Alright... I suppose there's no purpose for me to punish you for this, since you didn't do it on purpose..." she trailed off, "Did you at least bring me the vegetables I asked for?"

"'Course I frigging did." Santana said, and she smiled softly at the other girl, trying to be kind, because she knew that this was hard on her. "What do you take me for?"

Rachel smiled sincerely at her. She still looked upset, but she was, at least, dealing with it like a mature adult. "Thank you."

Santana sighed in relief. It looked like they were going to be okay even if this had been a slight bump in the otherwise plain road they'd had so far. "Can I go pee now?" she questioned then, hopefully. Because at this point she was about ready to wet herself.

Giggling, Rachel nodded, "Yes! And bring me those vegetables afterward! I'm going to start the dough for the pie!"

"Sweet!" Santana replied, and she turned around to hurry into the bathroom. Only after turning the lock, thus making sure that she was uninterrupted, did she allow herself to think back at the picture of an entirely naked Rachel Berry... right there in her bathroom.

Damn.

* * *

_I am SO SO SO sorry about the long delay! Starting university has been crazy! We've had intro-stuff the last couple of weeks and thus we've had to be at school for many many hours of the day. Now that our lectures are starting, it's not going to be nearly as much. Of course I have to prepare for my lectures, but I still believe that I'll have much more time on my hands – thus I'll be able to write chapters more often! _

_I hope you liked this chapter? I had to get back into the story, so if I appear a little rusty, I apologize. I appreciate your support so much, and I hope you all haven't lost interest because this update was so overdue. _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

She'd done it again.

It wasn't like she was literally trying to do it on purpose, it just happened sometimes. She couldn't stop it. She wasn't aiming for it, or trying to force it, it just happened because she was Santana Lopez and she had a need – a need that she had to fulfil sometimes, otherwise she was going to burst.

She swore she'd tried to stop herself from repeating the mistake. There would come no good thing out of doing it again, but what can one do when the need is really there?

She'd had to pee again, and had – accidentally – needed to do so while Rachel was showering. It _wasn't_ on purpose, _no_ matter what other people proclaimed or lied about. She knew that it wasn't smart for her to come knocking on the bathroom door when Rachel was showering, but she had done so.

Now she was just waiting, with a beating heart and a (not really so much at the moment) full bladder. "Rach? I _really_ need to pee!"

The other girl replied over the still splashing water, loudly, clearly, "No you don't."

"Yes I do!" Santana argued back and continued to hammer her fisted hands at the door for another thirty second or so.

"You just want to see me naked again!" Rachel sang out, and the water was still splashing, and Santana's bladder was still pulsating as she tried to hold it.

She groaned, "No! No, I just really need to pee, for the love of frigging God!" she hissed, and she felt herself relax with relief when the shower was turned off.

It took Rachel another few seconds, before the door to the bathroom was finally opened. Fog immediately stated streaming out from the small room, and Santana felt herself grow hot – not only from that, but also from the fact that Rachel was standing there, right in front of her in the widely opened doorway, with absolutely _nothing_ on. She was as naked as the day she was born (not that Santana had been there and could possibly know for sure, but she assumed that Rachel had been born naked, since that was the way that most kids were born. On the other hand, it wouldn't have surprised her though, if the other girl had been born with a tutu on, or perhaps a microphone in her hand).

"Didn't you need to pee?" Rachel asked her, almost too innocently.

Her lips were moving, but Santana wasn't sure what she was saying. She wasn't hearing a single thing. All she could focus on was the way that Rachel's hair was messed-up because she hadn't combed it. It was dripping wet, leaving droplets on the floor, and her body was on edge, her nipples peeking out because of the cold air from the apartment when it suddenly hit her heated skin. Her strong and muscular body was shining in all its glory; she was so defined, Santana could hardly believe it. She wanted to lick those _abs_.

An another currently very bare part of her body, as well.

But she wasn't supposed to think that, she wasn't _allowed_ to think that.

"I am assuming that you didn't need to pee at all." Rachel said then, and she placed a hand on her hip, jutting her hip out. She was looking up at her, and her eyes weren't furious, she was clearly amused.

Santana wanted to force herself to say something; she wanted to reply to the other girl, tell her that of fucking course she needed to pee, why else would she be knocking on the damn bathroom door, but nothing came out. Her throat was tight and when she tried to move her lips, nothing happened. Why was she acting like this? It _so_ wasn't like her. She was Santana motherfucking Lopez, and she never got tongue-tied!

Rachel's confidence was weird, too. When had the other girl suddenly decided to be so damn sexy and seductive?

The brunette fluttered her eyelashes. "I am betting that your bladder wasn't full at all," she whispered and took a step closer, reached her hand out and letting a finger trace from the edge of Santana's throat and downwards, "but that it was another part of your body... A much more interesting part, I might add... That is begging for attention from you." she licked her lips and glanced down, "I've been thinking about it too... Ever since you walked in on me."

"What?" Santana heard herself squeak out. Had – had she really thought about that? And why the fuck was she acting on it? That didn't seem like Rachel at all.

Reaching her hand out so it was lingering dangerously close to Santana's crotch, Rachel leaned up and whispered, "_Yes_."

Shuddering, Santana felt her eyes fall close as she inwardly begged for more. She was so turned on already, every nerve-ending was alert, and just a mere touch was going to make her explode, she was sure of it. It had been so long, and Rachel was so hot. What was a girl to do? Nothing but enjoy the ride...

"Come here." the smaller girl whispered, her breath ghosting across Santana's skin and making her shiver. It took a second for her hand to follow her words, but when her fingers moved around and came to cup Santana's crotch, the Latina felt her eyes roll to the back of her head.

"Mhmm, Berry!" she husked, and just a second later, her eyes snapped open, and she heard her erratic breathing. Confused, she tried to figure out what was going on, because... she wasn't in the bathroom anymore. She had somehow ended up in her bed, and she was... She was fully dressed, and her crotch was pulsating so much, begging for relief, and she was disorientated, and...

Suddenly it occurred to her that she had never knocked on the bathroom door demanding to pee, that Rachel had never changed personality into someone incredibly hot and bothered, no... None of those damn wonderful things had happened, because it had all been one fucking dream. An extremely amazing and fantastic and sexy dream. But a dream nonetheless.

Santana glanced to the side, and was happy to see that she hadn't woken Rachel up, and sighed in relief. She could always have said that her sex-dream had been about someone else, but it was much easier if the other girl didn't know anything at all. "Fuck." she murmured to herself. She wanted to go back to sleep, since she assumed that it was the middle of the night, but how could she do that? How could she just go back to sleep and forget her amazing dream, when she was still so turned on that she could hardly lay still?

_I have to do something about this, _she concluded, because she knew herself damn well enough to know that this wasn't going to fade away unless she brought herself to orgasm. Pushing her covers aside, she tried not to look at the sleeping girl next to her, because even though her dream was private and – without a doubt – brought on by the bathroom-incident from the other night, it still wasn't good.

She wasn't supposed to think about Rachel like that, and what the fuck, it was Rachel Berry, the girl in the children sweaters and the grandma stockings! She wasn't hot. She wasn't sexy. Yet in Santana's head (and underneath all of that ugly clothes), she really was. But it still wasn't right, because they were room-mates, and they were friends. She had to go fix her problem right now, and then... Then she had to stop herself from thinking about anything like that again.

_That_ was her plan. Although... The Rachel in her dream had nothing to do with the Rachel lying next to her, it was like they were two different people, so what was the harm – really? They were nothing alike! And if the dream-Rachel yielded her with great masturbatory-material, what was the harm?

Slipping over the sleeping brunette, careful not to wake her, Santana tiptoed out of their bedroom and soundlessly closed the door behind her. She walked the familiar path between furnitures into the bathroom, where she closed the door and turned on the light. Now. She really needed to relieve herself because otherwise she was going to lose her mind.

**X**

"You have to do it better!" she yelled, spit flying everywhere, as she stared at her, her finger pointed right at her, so no one was in doubt about to whom she was speaking, "You have to work harder! You're holding everyone back! You need to practise more!"

"But I'm already practising, Ms. July!" Rachel heard herself trying to explain. She knew that it was pointless trying to defend herself to someone like Cassandra July, but what could she do? She'd always followed authorities and done what was expected of her, right until the moment where she believed that someone wasn't being fair. She'd disobeyed Mr. Schuester back in high school when he wasn't treating people equally, and now she was talking back to Ms. July (with no good outcome whatsoever) because she was hassling her in a way that she was hassling no other student.

Cassandra stared back at her, her eyes narrowed down to tiny slits. She took a step closer, her hands on her hips, and slowly – carefully – started speaking, "Do you think that everyone else like repeating the same steps over and over just because _you_ can't get them right?" she questioned, and Rachel didn't dare to answer, because it was pretty evident that it was a rhetorical question. "Do you think that they like standing here, listening to me go things over and over and over again?"

Rachel bent her head, as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. "No Miss." she whispered. She hated that Cassandra was changing her into someone like this. Sure, she'd always been an emotional girl, who cried easily, but she'd never been a push-over, never let someone treat her like this and just taken it.

"Work harder." Cassandra firmly said then, before she turned back around and strutted back to the front of the class. She turned around and then, "Alright. Since Rachel took so much time today, we can't go over the other routine. That has to wait for tomorrow, I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon and please remember to practise tonight. That means you Rachel."

Rachel cast her eyes down and stared silently into the floor as everyone started moving around her. She could feel tears of frustration, anger, hatred towards Ms. July, gathering in the corners of her eyes, and she tried desperately to hold them back; she didn't want any of her classmates to see her cry, and she most definitely didn't want Ms. July to see how this was affecting her. She just had to hold it back, cry it out when she got home, and then practise harder than ever tonight, no matter what Santana said.

She refused to look up, not that anyone addressed her or anything; she could actually hear them murmuring and whispering (without a doubt about her) as they left the room in groups, happy – because they had friends, and they didn't disappoint their teacher.

She could see a pair of feet stop a few inches in front of her, and she knew that it was Ms. July, but she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing the tears in her eyes, so she kept her eyes down. "I expect you to perfect this by tomorrow," Cassandra firmly said, with a sigh in her voice, "we've wasted enough time on this."

"Yes, Ms. July." Rachel whispered.

"And maybe you should think about taking ballet classes outside of this school." her teacher continued, "I can tell that you took classes at home, they were bad, and I can't remedy that in the time we have here." she sighed, "Just think about it and let me know. I can recommend the best teachers for you."

"Yes, Ms. July." Rachel repeated, and she held her breath, as she heard her teacher's steps fade away, as she left the huge dance studio.

Squinting her eyes together, Rachel dragged herself to the wall where her bag was the only one left. She fell to the floor, exhausted, and leaned her back against the wall as she tried to calm herself down. She didn't know why Cassandra July had decided to target her the way that she was doing – she wasn't _that_ horrible a dancer. Actually, if she had to be honest, she thought that there were a few other students in this class who were just a tiny bit more horrible than her. She wasn't a great dancer by any means, and she'd never proclaimed that she was, but to be dragged through all of this... It was slowly breaking her down.

She wished that she could talk to Kurt about it. Not that Santana wasn't a good friend who'd want to (sometimes not willingly) listen to her qualms, but Kurt... Kurt knew about this. Kurt knew what it was like, and she wished that he was here with her. Of course she could always talk to him over the phone, but it wasn't the same. When she'd pictured herself living her New York dream, it had been with him as her room-mate, not Santana. With that being said, she was sort of liking this outcome, too... It was different than she'd picture it to be, but... Good, still.

"Hey."

Surprised, Rachel looked up, torn out of her misery, only to find Alexis looking at her from the entrance to the dance studio. She was leaning against the doorway, her shoulder pushed against it, and with her arms crossed. Her red hair was pulled on top of her head in a huge bun and she had giant glasses perched on her nose. Rachel couldn't keep a smile from appearing on her face when she realised that at least someone at this school cared about her. "Hi Alexis." she softly replied.

Alexis made a face. "Rough class?"

Rachel nodded her head. "It's like everyday she's treating me a little bit worse." she whispered, and even though she was adamant not to cry more than she already had been, she couldn't keep the tears away. They started burning in her eyes again, and she could hear them in her own voice when she spoke. "I don't _know_ what I'm doing wrong." she whispered, and leaned her head against the wall. She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply; she could hear Alexis walk across the room, her heels clicking against the floor, and before she knew it, the other girl was sitting down next to her. She could feel her shoulder press against her own, and thought that it was nice and comforting.

Alexis made a small sound. "You're probably doing nothing wrong." she whispered, "It's Cassandra July... Each year she finds that one student to nag on. That's what she does. You're probably not horrible, you're probably very good."

"No I'm not." Rachel whispered and turned to look at her, her eyes locked to hers as she tried to explain, "I know I'm not the best dancer, but I'm doing my best, and that's all I can do! I work so hard when I'm at home, just ask Santana, and she will tell you, I work so hard and she hates it, but what can I do?"

The other girl shrugged her shoulders. "Santana tells you not to work?"

Rachel nodded. "She doesn't want me to work so much. She says I'll burn myself out."

Smiling, Alexis continued, "And Santana knows all about that?" she paused, "No, don't get me wrong. It's great that Santana takes care of you and looks out for you... But aren't you here to learn, aren't you_ here_ to get better?"

"I suppose so." Rachel whispered.

Alexis didn't reply.

Continuing, Rachel said, "Now Ms. July wants me to take more ballet classes... To practise with someone else."

"That'll probably do you good." Alexis replied, smiling softly at her, "You can never get enough practice. If you dance here and then dance at home, it's the same as when I write here and then... write more at home." she tugged a piece of hair back into her bun and glanced warmly at Rachel through her glasses. "Isn't it?"

Amused, Rachel had to agree with her on that – it made a lot of sense. The only difference was that dancing was more physical draining than writing was. "I'm really glad I met you." she whispered, smiling at the other girl, suddenly so thankful that she had bumped into Alexis that day; she wasn't so alone now, suddenly she had something to look forward to regarding school. "You're a great friend, Alexis."

The red-head blushed slightly, "You too." she shyly said, "Can I interest you with a comforting hug?"

"I'd love that." Rachel replied back in a whisper, before she slipped closer and snuggled herself into Alexis' arms. Her head was in the nook of her neck, and her arms were wrapped around the taller girl. She could feel Alexis' arms tugging her close, squeezing her comfortingly, and everything just felt a little bit better as soon as she was there. "Quinn is coming to visit us this weekend. You did still want to go out with us, right?"

Alexis breathed deeply in, and Rachel could feel her chest rise and fall as she spoke, "Sure. I'd love to meet your blonde friend. And your room-mate."

Rachel turned her head slightly over and glanced up at the other girl, still locked in her embrace, "My sexy Latina room-mate. Who might act like she doesn't want to meet you at all, but I'm sure she does. She's just too proud to let me know."

Raising an eyebrow, Alexis said, "Is she really? She sounds like a bitch, but for some reason I find it very hard to believe that you'd be friends and room-mates with someone like that. You don't strike me as the person who'd ever put up with someone who behaves that way."

She knew that Alexis was spot-on with her brief analysis of Santana, but there were just a few other things... things that Alexis didn't know, and those things made all the difference. "Santana can be a frigid bitch, yes..." Rachel whispered, hating to take the word 'bitch' into her mouth, especially when talking about Santana, "But she's so much more than that. She's... sweet, and kind. And she sticks up for her friends. She can be really gentle sometimes. Not a lot of times, but sometimes." she licked her lips and felt herself grow warm by the thought of Santana and how close they had become. "I love her a lot."

Alexis was quiet then, and for a second Rachel almost thought that she hadn't heard her last comment, but then the red-head softly whispered back, "I know... I can tell."

Rachel smiled softly up at her, and she could feel herself growing happier as their conversation progressed. Alexis was good at cheering her up; even after this rough practise with Cassandra July, she managed to make her smile. "You're sweet, Alexis... Thank you for befriending me."

"Hey, don't make me a saint, I needed someone just as badly as you did." she replied, and added a wink afterwards, just for good measure.

Breaking into a stream of giggles, Rachel pulled away from her, and brushed a piece of her still sweaty hair away from her face. "How about we go get some coffees before I have to head home?" she questioned her friend, as she bent down to untie her shoes. She sighed in relief when her feet slipped out of them.

"Ouch." Alexis murmured when she saw how Rachel's feet looked. They were a bit bruised, but there wasn't any blood, so Rachel took that as a positive thing. "And yeah, we can get coffee, but don't you... Need to fix your feet or something?"

Rachel heard herself chuckle, "Don't worry, this is nothing. I've experienced far worse, and I will – when I find another teacher and practise even more each day."

Pushing herself off the floor, Alexis tugged her bag onto her shoulder, "Can you even walk now?" she questioned, and watched with wide eyes as Rachel slipped a pair of fussy socks on, before she stuck her feet into a pair of boots. She stuck her hand out for Rachel to take.

Nodding, Rachel accepted the hand she offered her, "These socks are great. Thank you." she added, as she was pulled onto her feet. She grabbed her bag from the floor and slung her jacket over her arm. "Coffee?"

"Coffee." Alexis agreed, before she locked her arms with Rachel's and they walked, side by side, out of the room.

**X**

He was laughing his ass off on the other end of the phone, and Santana was not liking it one little bit. He thought that her situation was fucking amusing, and firstly, it really frigging was not, and secondly, she'd never been one to share her thoughts with just whoever, so he should feel really fucking honoured.

"Puckerman, I swear to fucking God, that you better stop laughing now, or I'ma come right on home and kick your Jewish ass!" Santana rattled off, and had he been right in front of her, she would have maimed him. This was no fucking joke, and he was making it seem like one, and she didn't like it at all.

"Damn Lopez, what can I do?" he asked her, and there was still laughter in his voice, "It's just.. trust you to screw up your living situation by walking in on Rachel naked."

She rolled her eyes at him, "I didn't screw anything up, Puck! She was freaked out, but she's good now, alright? I handled that shit."

He chuckled, "Sure you did."

"I fucking did! I got her to accept that shit happens. She's back to being the usual annoying Midget-Dwarf-Idina Menzel she always has been." Santana explained as she threw herself onto the couch. She'd had a rare day off and spent it taking care of different shit. She'd spent some of her first pay-check on a new pair of boots and a dress for their night out next weekend, she'd bought bling and a few other things she couldn't stop herself from buying, and she'd called her parents, and sent Brittany a few pictures of the apartment. Now she was talking to Puck because if anyone could help her with her situation, it was him. Although right now... he wasn't really helping that much.

Puck clicked his tongue, "Sure. She's back to being the usual Rachel in front of you, but from what I'm hearing here... you're the one who's now having trouble. You're the one who's not being yourself."

She swallowed. She had a feeling what he was referring to, but she wasn't going to pretend that she knew anything, because that meant that he was right, and she wasn't going to satisfy him like that. "What the fuck are you getting at?"

He continued, "You frigging know what I'm getting at, Lopez, I'm talking about your little sexual dream, that's what I'm getting at!"

It was a bad idea to tell Puck about her dream, she should have known that. "Yeah so? I had sexual dreams in high school all the damn time."

"But never about Rachel." Puck continued, and she could tell that he was amused by this, and it really fucking annoyed her, "You've always seen her as this annoying girl in Glee Club, but now suddenly you're seeing her as something else because you saw her naked."

"What the fuck, Puck!?" she snapped at him and kicked her feet into the air, staring at her bare toes as she talked to him, "You think this is frigging funny, you asshat!"

Puck laughed again, "It's your own fault, Satan, for not noticing Rachel's hotness earlier. I'm telling you..." he trailed off, "if you'd noticed it already in high school – like _I _did – you wouldn't be having this problem right now!"

She rolled her eyes at him, "Oh you're so fucking brilliant, aren't you Puckerman?"

He continued, "What can I say, Lopez? You need to handle your problems. Now you're having sexual dreams about Rachel, and damn right, I get that, who hasn't had sexy dreams about her, but really... You're already sharing a bed with her, so that's sort of creepy."

Santana licked her lips and thought that over for a few seconds, "I need to handle this, don't I? I need to stop somehow..."

"Unless you wanna act on it and try to score her." Puck replied.

The Latina found herself breaking into a laugh at that suggestion. Puck was always so hella funny – suggesting something like that! It wasn't that she couldn't see herself sexing it up with Rachel (especially after seeing her very defined and beautiful body), but Rachel wasn't like that. She wasn't someone who just slept with random people, she was a relationship kind of girl, and she was straight! Straighter than most people. At least that's what Santana believed, because she'd never before hinted an attraction to other girls. Although... Her fiery love/hatred relationship with Quinn in high school had had some sexual-sparks to it. Could there have been attraction hidden somewhere in that?

"Why are you fucking laughing, Satan?" Puck asked her, and he did sound very surprised, "I'm frigging serious! You think Rachel is all straight and up for no fun? I'm telling you... Before you know it, Rachel is going to find some girl at NYADA, and she'll be exploring that girl-on-girl-thing... She's not just straight. I think she falls for personality, not gender."

"I'm not looking for any relationship with the midget. She's fucking hot, that's all there's to it. And I know that she'd never want to just fool around with me like Brittany did, so why are we even discussing Rachel's sexual preferences?" she heard herself rattle off, before she hurried to continue, eager to get this subject wiped off the table, "I called you because I wanted you to help me get the thought of her _out_ of my mind... So I don't have to wake up next to her after dreaming about her going down on me!"

Puck laughed, apparently finding her frustration hella entertaining, "Then you just need to get it out of your system." he said.

Santana bit her lip. Get it out of her system? Usually whenever she needed to get someone out of her system, she'd fuck them, and then fuck them a little bit more if needed, and then that'd be _that_. But she couldn't do that with Rachel. For once in her life, she couldn't just fuck someone to make the problem go away, because it was _Rachel_. What the fuck could she do then? "How the fuck do I do that when I can't have sex with her?"

"I _don't _know." Puck replied, "All I know is that I'm fucking jealous that you saw Rachel naked!"

"Boohoo." she joked with him, but inwardly, she gloated, because she had seen Rachel naked, and he had not. She was about to say something else to him, when she was suddenly aware of the fact, that someone was sticking their key into the lock in the front door. And unless some random stranger thought that this was their home, Rachel was just outside, which meant that this conversation had to end. "Hey Puckerman, Rachel is outside, so I gotta fucking leave. But this stays between us. Gots it?"

"You have my word, Satan." Puck replied, before he hung up the phone.

Throwing her phone onto the coffee table, Santana reached onto the floor to the stack of magazines that they kept there, and she grabbed the first one she could find and turned it to a random page, just as Rachel entered the apartment.

"I'm home!" she hollered.

_Yeah, who fucking else would it be? _Santana sarcastically asked herself, but she replied much more gently, "On the couch!"

Rachel stuck her head into the living room, still trying to kick off her boots. She looked sweaty and tired, and she had her arms packed with different things. "I was out with Alexis for coffee, but..." she entered the living room then, dropping her bag to the floor, "I bought as something for tonight. I figured that... We needed some roomie-time. I got us ice cream!" she held up the brown paper bag, and she had the most gigantic smile on her face. "Vegan one for me, and Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake for you!"

Santana threw the magazine onto the floor again and sat up. "That's brilliant, Berry. It just so happens that I spent a few of my hard-earned money today, and..." she nodded her head towards the dining table where she'd thrown her purchases, "Some of those money was spent on DVDs!"

The brunette laughed, "I can't believe it, we're really on the same page, huh?" she replied, just as she opened the freezer in their kitchen and placed the ice cream inside of it.

"So ice cream for dinner?" Santana questioned, and she couldn't believe it, but a night on the couch with Rachel and ice cream sounded absolutely heavenly in her ears. Not that she'd ever say so to the other girl, because that would be over her dead body.

Rachel entered the living room again and threw her jacket on the back of the chair (Santana had to force her eyes to look somewhere else, because damn, she was rocking those tights and that sports bra), "I thought so, yes." she nodded and pulled her scrunchy out of her hair. She reached a hand up and combed her fingers through her brown locks. "Cassandra July is going to hate me for eating so many calories instead of practising, but I figured... She's not going to rule every second of my life just because she thinks she can."

Santana raised an eyebrow. "You just realised that?" she sarcastically questioned.

Sitting down next to her on the couch, Rachel let out a deep sigh and placed her feet on the coffee table. "I had a talk with Alexis actually, and, I don't know, she just helps me sort through all of these things happening at NYADA. She's going through them too, you know? It just... it helps me see things more clearly."

_Alexis. Again._ Santana wasn't sure why that bothered her. It just did. She was sort of looking forward to seeing this other girl, of talking to her, figuring out why she was acting this way towards Rachel, the way that she was. She knew Rachel had this idea in her mind that she and Alexis would be good together, but Santana just wasn't getting that vibe from her. It just... She didn't seem like the type of person she'd normally give the time of day. Of course she could be surprised, but she was feeling more annoyed by this red-head already, than she was feeling excited about meeting her next weekend. "You know you can talk to me too, right?" she questioned then, and she had no idea where that came from, it just slipped out of her somehow. She regretted it instantly, because damn, that was mushier than she usually liked herself to be.

Rachel turned her head over, and the smile on her face was huge when she replied, "I know."

"Fucking perfect." Santana replied, and made sure to pop the 'p'.

Still smiling, Rachel pointed towards her bag on the floor. "I uh... I got something for you in there." she was grinning widely now then, and her eyes were glistening, "I searched the hallways at school, trying to locate someone with great guitar skills."

Turning her head over to look at her, Santana couldn't hide the hopeful smile that appeared on her face then. "You found some talented guitar-player with sits and a need for money?" she questioned. She knew that Rachel had talked about finding someone to teach her, but she'd never actually thought that she would. On the other hand... the brunette was practically more eager to push her forward and reach her goal than she was.

Nodding eagerly, Rachel replied, "Yes! He has no sits, but he's _very_ talented, and he said that he'd like to set something up perhaps two or three times a week. He can really use the money too, and I believe we came to a reasonable agreement regarding the payment." she reached a hand out and brushed it gently over Santana's bare arm, "His number is tucked into my binder. He said for you to give him a call tomorrow."

Santana could hardly believe it; she knew that it was in her plans to do something with her life, to get even better than she already was. And even though she was never going to be this famous and great guitar-player, it was going to help get her places, because she could perform her own music, just to get by until her music was popular. This was the first step towards that, and she was so thankful that she had Rachel to help her get there. "Thank you, Midget." she whispered, before she reached over and wrapped her arms around the other girl, hugging her tight. She wasn't good at sharing her feelings, but this time – she knew she had to show her gratitude.

Pulling back, Rachel looked surprised by her sudden show of emotion. "You're welcome." she gently whispered, "I know that you'd do the exact same thing for me."

She wasn't sure what to say to that, so instead she decided to change the subject into much less dangerous territory. She patted her stomach, "Anyway. I think I hear my stomach rumble, hows about we gets that ice cream out of the freezer again?"

The other girl let her teeth linger on her lip for a second as she glanced briefly towards the dining table, before looking at Santana again, "If I get to pick the movie." she giddily whispered, and the second Santana nodded, she was off the couch and digging through the bags on the table to pick a movie.

Laughing, Santana went into the kitchen to get the ice creams and two spoons.

* * *

_Thank you so much for your reviews for the last chapter – they mean so much to me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Next chapter will feature Quinn for the night out in town! :) Please let me know what you think of this, it's always so nice to hear. _

_And another thing I'm curious to know – what did you all think of the new episode of Glee? I've been so confused about what to feel for this fourth season, and I had decided just to keep an open mind. I actually thought that it was a pretty good start. Of course it's going to be a little odd with all these new characters so suddenly, and I know I'll be missing a few of the old ones (Santana and Quinn!), but I'm not disappointed at all. It appears that I wasn't that far off when I decided to incorporate Cassandra July in my earlier chapters – she is tormenting Rachel already, but that's just the way I had expected it to be ;-) So what did you guys think? _

_**Disclaimer; **Don't own Glee. _


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

The second Quinn got off the bus, Rachel practically threw herself at their blonde friend with a shriek. Santana had to watch with amusement as Quinn managed to drop her bag on the pavement, before the flying girl ambushed her, with hair and limbs flying everywhere.

"Quinn!" Rachel excitingly chipped and held onto her so tightly, hugging her with all of her might, her arms around her shoulders, and a smile wider than anything Santana had seen on her face before.

Quinn didn't seem to mind though, she was laughing, and she lifted Rachel off the ground for a brief second, which pleased Santana, because if she could lift Rachel (although she wasn't that heavy), it meant that her strength was still coming back little by little after her accident. "It's nice to see you, too!" Quinn chuckled, before she placed Rachel onto the ground again, but clung onto her for just a few seconds more.

Santana grabbed Quinn's overnight bag and threw it over her shoulder. "Alright chicas, let's go back inside, my nipples are starting to peak through my top in this weather." she said as she motioned down at her two babies. Summer was really about over now, and it sucked, because she loved the warm weather and the sun kissing her face. Winter was coming, and she better get used to grabbing her jacket and her scarf when she let the apartment.

Rolling her eyes, Quinn let go of Rachel before wrapping her arm around Santana in a sideways hug, "I've missed you too, S." she said, and her eyes told the Latina that she really had.

"You gotta see our place!" Rachel chanted and hurried down the pavement, so they could walk the small distance from the bus stop to their home. "I'm cooking dinner, we need to hurry so it won't burn or catch on fire!" she said, and she looked at them, thus urging them to walk faster. Her eyes were glistening; she was happy and giddy, and it was easy to tell that she had big expectations for this night.

"Yo Midget," Santana said, "why don't you run home and we'll catch up? This bag's heavy like shit."

Taking the situation into account, Rachel seemed to think about it for a few seconds; she looked from Quinn, to the bag and to Santana, then to Quinn again, before she slowly nodded. "That seems reasonable." she murmured, "After all, we do want dinner _and_ a place to live!" she waved at them, "Gotta run!"

They watched her skip down the pavement quickly, her brown hair flying behind her in the wind, and Santana heard Quinn chuckle.

"I've missed her craziness." Quinn said then, linking her arm with Santana's, "I mean... I think she'd drive me insane if I lived with her – I honestly don't know how you do it – but I've really missed her."

Santana shrugged her shoulders, "That's just something I do. She's not so bad, actually." she honestly said. "She's been going crazy, trying to make all this perfect for you. You better enjoy yourself tonight!"

Quinn couldn't hide her giant smile, "Oh I'm sure I will. I've missed you guys, and this is my weekend off. I usually work during the weekends, just to pay for my books and tuition as much as possible." she motioned towards the bag, "You want me to grab that now that I'm not carrying Rachel anymore?"

"Nah, I'm good." Santana smirked, "I'm used to carrying heavy-as-hell bags home from the shop because Rachel always sends me these texts during the day about what we need at home." she licked her lips, and pretended to be a bit annoyed, but actually, it didn't really bother her so much, because she liked shopping, she liked going out to buy things that she paid for with her own money; money she worked so hard for. It was a feeling she'd never thought she'd appreciate like that, but it made her feel grown-up, responsible... An entirely new feeling.

Looking at her, Quinn got a weird smirk on her face, "Oh really? And you just... hurry on down to the shop and buy whatever she asks for?" she paused.

Santana could hear what she was getting at, and she was quick to explain, "It's not like I do everything she asks me for... I just like shopping. I make sure we don't get all of that vegan crap into our place. Have you ever tasted substitute egg? It fucking sucks!"

It didn't seem like Quinn believed her at all; she had that look on her face, and Santana was not pleased with it. "Yeah of course, you're not her bitch." she joked.

"Shut up." Santana replied, and she hated that Quinn had been there for five minutes, and she was already making fun of her like they'd never been apart. "And by the way, Rachel invited one of her theatre geek friends from school, her only friend, I think, and I've never met the girl before, but Rachel keeps yapping on and on and _on_ about about her, so she must be cool somehow." she paused, and she couldn't explain why, but just the thought of Alexis coming and ruining their night (it was supposed to be the three of them together – as old friends!) annoyed her greatly. "Although, whoever Rachel thinks of as cool is undoubtedly _not_, so..."

Quinn raised an eyebrow, "She's thinks we're cool, so she must have some sense in that brain of hers..." she trailed off and wriggled her eyebrows. "Who is she anyway?"

"Her name is Alexis, and she's a red-head." Santana explained, trying to recall the picture that Rachel had shoved in her face about a week ago when she'd told her that she believed that they'd be the _perfect_ couple (Rachel's words, not _hers_!). "For some reason Rachel thinks she and I would be great together... I'm thinking not so much."

The blonde girl laughed then, and Santana glared at her, feeling the fury build in the pit of her stomach. It didn't help the case that Quinn found all of this so funny; she'd have to deal with Alexis hanging around them all evening, and she'd have to ward the girl off (without hurting her too much, because then Rachel would absolutely kill her), and all the while, she'd have to listen to Quinn's mocking.

Stopping in front of the grey apartment building, Santana said, "This is it. Our humble place. The neighbours suck, except Mr. Newman who thinks Rachel is the most adorable little Jewish thing, so he leaves us chocolate and sweets. Rachel doesn't have the heart to tell him she's a vegan, so I eat it all."

Quinn's hazel eyes glistened with amusement, and she pushed the door open and stepped inside the hallway in front of Santana. "Third floor?" she questioned.

Humming, Santana confirmed her question. "Sure thing, Q." she said and dragged the bag after her all the way upstairs, right behind the blonde girl. They conquered the stairs in complete silence, and when Santana finally stepped inside right behind Quinn, she could smell that Rachel was cooking something really nice in the kitchen. "Just throw your crap wherever." she said as she dropped Quinn's bag to the floor.

Quinn stepped out of her pumps and dropped her leather jacket on top of the bag. She was quiet, and Santana could tell that she was looking around the small hallway, and the different pictures that hung there, at all of the different shoes that were aligned by the wall. She spun around herself, gazing upwards and downwards, and then turned to face Santana with a small smile. "Already this hallway says _so_ much about the both of you."

Santana couldn't hide the smile on her face either – this hallway had been one of the things that still needed decoration when she moved in; so they'd managed to agree on something that defined the both of them. There were pieces of Rachel's life hanging on the wall, mixed in with pieces from Santana's life. Their shoes, coats and scarves were mixed together as well, and their bags were thrown in one corner, and everything was just homey and comfortable. "Yeah... It's us, I guess. The place's so small, things are just thrown everywhere possible."

"That's the same with my place..." she trailed off, "It's even smaller, so I storage things everywhere humanly possible." she leaned over and glanced into the living room. "Oh, so cosy!" she chipped, and when she stepped into the living room, Rachel was bouncing up and down in the doorway into the kitchen. Her excitement was never-ending, and Santana thought that it was endearing (even though she'd _never_ say so aloud).

"Quinn! I hope you like what I've made! I cooked meat for you guys, so I hope I did it well!" she said and then she pointed towards the dining table, which was just big enough for four, "I set the table! Isn't it pretty?"

Stepping between the two of them, Santana placed a hand on Rachel's arm and hissed, "Calm down, Rach..." she said, blinking, "Let Quinn get pass the door before you ambush her! She probably wants to check the place out, alright?"

Down-casting her eyes, Rachel nodded, "Yeah... I need to keep an eye on my sauce anyway! But Quinn, come see me in the kitchen after, okay?" she giddily continued, and she didn't wait for Quinn to reply, she just turned on her heel and returned to the stove.

Santana threw herself onto the couch after casting a disapproving look at the fourth plate on the table (Rachel had asked Alexis to come for dinner? They had _not_ discussed that!). She placed her feet up against the wall and let her head hang downwards as she watched Quinn study everything around them. The walls were plastered with posters and pictures, and Santana had torn down some of Rachel's Broadway crap above the dining table and hung a lot of different quotes and lyrics there instead. The entire room represented the both of them. The same went for their DVD and CD shelf; Santana's horror films were mixed in with Rachel's musicals, and her rock CDs were mixed with Rachel's Broadway soundtracks.

"I like all of these pictures." Quinn murmured as she tiptoed around on her bare feet, letting her finger grace a framed picture of the Glee Club right after they won Nationals (which seemed to be forever ago, but was actually no more than a few months). "There's... pictures of you during your time in the Cheerios, and of Rachel at all of her dance recitals. And then there's pictures of the both of you, at your time together in Glee." she smiled softly, "It's so... mutual. I don't know. I'd expected it to look so divided and weird, but everything seems so wholesome and real. You guys really meshed."

Raising an eyebrow, Santana asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

Shrugging, Quinn couldn't hide her smile. "It's a couple thing." she said, and Santana barely had time to tell her off, before she'd made her way into the bedroom. She was only there for a few seconds, before she shrieked, "You guys sleep in the _same_ bed?"

So neither Rachel, nor Santana herself had managed to mention that small fact within the last month. And so what? It wasn't like they were trying to hide that or anything. "Sure we fucking sleep in the same bed. Do you see room for two beds in this joint?" she questioned, and when she didn't receive an answer, she added, "And get the fuck out here when I'm talking to you, so I can see your stupid blonde face."

Peeking her head back into the room again, Quinn continued, in a whisper, "But the _same_ bed, Santana! That's weird on so many levels!"

Rolling her eyes, Santana gathered strength to turn over and stand up. She couldn't lie there all day anyway; she had to change and do her hair. She wanted to get it done before dinner when Alexis showed up. She flew across the floor and into the bedroom, where she closed the door behind her and Quinn. "It works for us, alright? So don't fucking question it." she unbuttoned her jeans and stepped out of them, before she reached up to pull off her t-shirt. She threw both things on the floor and stared at Quinn, "Yeah, I need to change my underwear too, so unless you wanna see the babies, you should probably step out."

Taking a seat on the bed, it was clear that Quinn wasn't going to let her bully her out of there, "Please, there's nothing I haven't seen before." she softly replied and stared back at her with piercing eyes. "So this bed thing," she continued, and patted the comforter, clearly facing Santana head on with this, "it seems like you actually _enjoy_ sleeping in the same bed with her?"

Santana had really missed the way Quinn didn't take any crap from her. Rachel didn't either, but she wasn't quite as good at seeing through her walls yet; not in the way that Quinn was after so many years of friendship. "I didn't say that." she replied, licking her lips and unbuttoning her bra.

Quinn's eyes never left hers. "But you like it."

"I don't miss Britt's warm body next to me when Rachel is right there." Santana replied, before she pulled her thong down and stared at Quinn, entirely naked. She wasn't going to tell the other girl which dreams she had been having, because then Quinn would just get a fucking kick out of that. She was going to pretend that everything was as it used to be in high school; that she found Rachel unattractive and simply just tolerated her presence.

"Aha." Quinn replied, and she gave Santana a once-over – a disapproving one; there was nothing sexual about it, "I'm gonna go see Rachel in the kitchen now." she softly said, before she got off the bed and stepped outside, closing the door soundlessly behind her.

Santana shot daggers at the closed door, but she was still smirking to herself, because damn, she had missed that blonde girl, especially when the HBIC-persona came up in her. She hated – but at the same time _loved_ – the way that Quinn challenged her, it had always been like that, ever since they became best friends, and it was sort of what had defined them throughout the years.

But she couldn't stand there and stare all day. She used her foot to roll her bed-roller out from beneath the bed. She grabbed some clean underwear, her most sexy underwear, because who the fuck could know if she hooked up tonight? It'd be fucking nice to get that itch scratched anyway. She then grabbed the dress she had hanging on a hanger. It was a tiny, red thing, and it was ages since she had been in it. It still fitted though, and she looked frigging hot in it, she had to acknowledge that, she really did.

Now she just needed to pick a pair of pumps, and do her hair and make-up. She grabbed her blazer from another hanger, and hurried into the bathroom, passing Quinn and Rachel who seemed to be having fun in the kitchen – judging by their laughter. She made quick do of her hair; she'd already decided to keep it down tonight, so she just needed to make sure that not a strand of hair was out of place. She then did her make-up; most of it was already done, so she just needed to touch it up. She could hear Rachel and Quinn singing together in the kitchen, having fun. It was clear that the two of them had really missed each other; they had been growing closer in senior year, perhaps more than any of the other Glee members really thought and believed.

She was just putting down her powder, satisfied with the result, when there was a knock on the door. _Urgh_. She didn't want that Alexis girl to come here and ruin their night with her stupid face. And it didn't seem like Rachel was going to open the door, because she was busy having fun with Quinn. Closing the bathroom door behind her, Santana stepped over all of their crap in the hallway and pulled the door open, not bothering to hide her frown.

"Hi, I'm Alexis."

The girl on the other side _was_ beautiful. She was tall, had beautiful eyes, and was dressed to show all of her assets. She wasn't by any means Santana's usual type, but the Latina couldn't deny that she was beautiful, although quirky. However, the red hair didn't do anything for her.

"I'm Santana." she replied, and her eyes were scrutinizing the other girl, trying to figure out what it was about her that Rachel seemed to like so much. "Come on in. Midget's in the kitchen."

Stepping pass her, Alexis hung her jacket on the coat-rack, "Midget? Are you talking about Rachel?" she softly questioned.

Taking in a deep breath, Santana had to force herself to keep her cool, to not snap at this girl already, because Rachel was going to maim her if she did. "Yes. I call her degrading nicknames to make fun of her petite stature, it works for us, so live with it." she smiled stiffly at her, "Come on in though."

Alexis chuckled nervously, and followed Santana into the living room. The Latina pointed into the kitchen and took a seat on one of the chairs by the dining table. She picked the one with the most room for her legs to move. It wasn't because it was also the spot that provided her the best view of the kitchen, that was just a coincidence. She simply had to sit here because she needed to stretch her muscles.

"Alexis!" Rachel exclaimed, as soon as the red-head had announced her presence. The two girls embraced tightly, and Rachel's happiness was evident, Santana could see her smile above the other girl's shoulder. She pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled back, "This is Quinn, my friend from high school, and I assume you already met Santana." she pointed by the tall and slender geek and into the living room, smiling brightly.

Santana forced a smile over her lips, even though she was fuming on the inside. She couldn't quite explain what it was, but something about this just irked her the wrong way; Alexis fucking irked her the wrong way. She didn't like to be irked, alright? If anyone was going to irk her, it was definitely not this way she liked it to be done.

Brushing Rachel gently across the arm, Alexis said, with a saying tone, and eyes that showed it all, "Yes, she _just _introduced herself in the hallway..."

Holding her breath, Santana had to force herself not to tell the other girl to fucking go away. What was she suggesting? That Santana hadn't been frigging fucking nice in the hallway? She had been at her _absolute _frigging best. If Alexis was going to be like this all night, it was going to be really fucking difficult to get through it.

Rachel's smile was still wider than what should be humanly possible; of course she couldn't see the way that Alexis was already trying to make her look bad, she just saw it as a sign of affection. But Santana knew, she knew what was really happening here. "What did she say? Did she insult you? Or me? Don't listen to her, she's really not that badass. It's just a way for her to hide her true feelings for me, which means that she really loves me."

Alexis chuckled, "Oh I see. Funny way of showing it!"

And as Rachel started yapping about the food she had spent all day creating, Quinn met Santana's eyes behind the other two's backs. She raised an eyebrow, clearly questioning what was going on between Alexis and Rachel, and made a confused face. Shrugging her shoulders, Santana shot Alexis daggers – she sure as fuck didn't understand it either, but it was beginning to come pretty clear to her, that Alexis was just as little interested in being set up with each other, as she was.

And why the fuck was that? That tall and gangly red-head shouldn't not be interested in getting with her! She was a fucking catch!

Quinn tiptoed pass the other two and into the living room. Squeezing her way between Santana's chair and the wall, she took a seat in the corner. She leaned in and lowly hissed, "What the fuck! That girl is so not here for you, she's here for Rachel!"

Santana nodded her head, "Yeah I can see that! All those little touches and looks and giggles! She wants the midget!"

The blonde girl glanced into the kitchen again and tilted her head, "Are you sure she wants her that way? Maybe she's just really happy to have a friend – just like Rach is?"

Rolling her eyes, Santana shook her head. "No way, Q. She wants to bang our dwarf. She wants to fuck with her all night long. I can see that. Trust me," she paused, glancing into the kitchen again and disliking the obvious way that Alexis had placed an arm around Rachel's back, "I know sexual tension when I see it. She's hot for Berry!"

"We don't like that, do we?" Quinn questioned her, slightly insecure about whether or not they were _for_ this, or against it.

"What?!" Santana hissed, "No we fucking do not like it! _Chica loca_!"

Quinn snorted, "I'm sorry, S! But what's the harm? Maybe it'd be good for Rachel to explore something with a woman. After all, she last dated Finn and you and I both know how much a catch he's _not_." she paused and glanced into the kitchen again, softly, " I don't know. Maybe it'd help her grow and stuff."

Santana glared at Quinn; she did not like how Quinn seemed to think that that was a good idea. It fucking was not! Alexis was frigging bad news, and she wasn't going to spend anymore of her precious breath trying to explain that to Quinn. "Rachel is not dating that geek, she can do better than that. End of discussion."

Leaning back in her seat, Quinn nodded her head, "Alright." she softly stated, and there was something in her eyes, something unreadable to the Latina.

"Food's done!" Rachel cheered then as she and Alexis entered their small living room, each carrying food in their hands. "Santana, can you grab the wine in the kitchen and open it? I thought we'd share a bottle while we eat."

"Sure thing, Dwarf." Santana replied, and made sure to lightly bump her shoulder with Alexis' as she passed her on her way to the kitchen. She grabbed the bottle in the refrigerator, feeling somewhat agitated, and she angrily pulled a drawer out to get the bottle-opener. It took her a minute to get it opened, and she tried to get herself under control. She really did not like that Alexis girl. She couldn't explain why she seemed to annoy her so much, and come to think of it, she'd really rather _not_ know why – that was dangerous territory. Instead she decided to just fume and try to understand what Alexis really wanted with Rachel.

Entering the living room again, Santana made sure to pour some wine for Rachel, Quinn and herself, before she placed the bottle on the table, pretending like she hadn't seen Alexis' glass. Rachel gave her a disapproving stare, before she reached for it to pour the wine herself.

"Alright, I hope you like it. I cooked meat for you guys, so don't kill me if it's too terrible." she laughed, as Quinn immediately dug in, probably very hungry from trip there.

"I'm sure it'll be really great, Rachel." Alexis said, smiling charmingly at the lithe brunette.

Raising an eyebrow, Santana really didn't understand what her deal was. "I'm fucking sure it'll be really frigging horrible, Rach, but I'ma eat it anyway, 'cuz you know hows I gets hungry when I'm abouts to gets my drinks on."

Laughing, Rachel kicked her leg gently with her foot beneath the table. "I appreciate the sweet sentiment, but you really have to stop adding S's everywhere." she giggled, her eyes glistening, and Santana gave herself a mental pat on the shoulder, because wasn't she awesome at complimenting her room-mate?

"She still does that all the frigging time?" Quinn questioned, glancing at Rachel with amusement, "She's done that for as long as I've known her!"

"Yeah, yeah, I still fucking do that, quit being amused by it." Santana said and grabbed her glass from the table, "Let's instead do a toast! For a fucking nice evening where I'm going to get drunk for the first time in what seems for-fucking-ever. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" the other three chipped in, and Santana thought that it was going to be a good evening, even with these circumstances.

**X **

Three hours later, they were all drunk off their asses and bringing down their chosen club. Rachel was a giggling mess, and Quinn was getting angry at everything, while Alexis seemed to be a happy and horny drunk who hit on every girl passing her – even though her chosen subject for the evening, not so surprisingly, wasn't Santana (though that had been the point of their meeting), but Rachel. Rachel who – on top of being happy – was extremely touchy-feely.

Santana was downing one beer after another and watching the two of them on the dance floor. Rachel's giant feet were stepping on plenty of toes, but Alexis – for some odd reason – possessed an amount of rhythm, and she was getting a lot of attention. She was a tall red-head, and had curves in all the right places. She was dorky, but she could pull it off, which just made her sexy for some reason. It wasn't a surprise that practically every guy in the room was drooling when she moved.

"She wants Rachel!" Quinn said, hammering her bottle into the table so beer spilled everywhere, "She wants her, S! It's clear to me. She's gay for Ray-Ray!"

_Ray-Ray? Alright, I'll go with it... _"Yeah! She fucking does! I knew she wasn't going to want to fuck me, but you know what? I'ma find some other chick in this club to go home with tonight!"

Nodding her head, Quinn seemed to believe that that was a pretty good idea. She took another long sip of her bottle and continued, "I don't really understand why Rachel wanted to set you guys up. You're so not right for each other." she paused, seemingly pondering very hard about something, something that she wanted to say, because her hazel eyes were squinted together and her nose was scrunched up. "You're like, too different, even though different is good. You and Rachel are different, but you seem to make it work very well at the apartment. Even though the thing about the one bed is still really weird, and I can't really..." she trailed off, staring expectantly at Santana.

"What's it to you?" Santana questioned, annoyed that she needed to go over this again with her. "I _already_ fucking explained that to you! We have one bed because that's all there's room for, alright? We're not billionaires. Don't you think we'd have a three-bedroom apartment if we could fucking afford one?"

"You're touchy." Quinn stated then, looking at her, not affected by the way that she was telling her off. "I think you're touchy because you really want to stay in the same bed with Rachel, because you really like her."

Rolling her eyes, Santana replied, "I do not like the dwarf in any way. We're good friends. Do I sometimes get steamy hot and sexy dreams about her Midget ass? Yes, I can't deny that, she's one sexy motherfucker. But does that mean I like her? No, it frigging does not. I just like the way her body looks when she's naked after a shower."

Dramatically dropping her jaw, Quinn stared at her with wide eyes. "You saw her naked after a shower?"

Santana shrugged, "I accidentally walked in on her. What can I say? I have good timing for these things, and really, I should thank my full bladder, which was _bursting_ at the time."

"You think she's sexy!" Quinn lowly whispered and pointed a finger directly into Santana's face. She was accusative, and drunk, and hadn't she been somewhat annoyed right now, Santana would have laughed her ass off. "You want to have sex with her!"

Shaking her head, Santana downed her beer, "I do not want to have sex with her." she said and placed her bottle on the table. "I am going to dance with her though, because I'll be barfing in a second if Alexis keeps putting those moves on her. Bye." she went around the table and left her blonde friend alone. She mingled her way across the floor to where Rachel and Alexis were dancing in the midst of all the sweating bodies, and somehow managed to aggressively squeeze her way in between them – even though Alexis didn't seem too pleased with that.

"You're looking good, Berry." Santana whispered into her ear, placing a gentle hand on her back and letting their bodies move together.

Rachel wiped a hand across the back of her own neck, and said, "No! I'm sweating so much, it's really gross!" she laughed and wiped her hand off in Santana's dress, "I've missed you and Quinn! Why are you sitting over there, when you should be dancing out here?!"

Santana continued to whisper into her ear, just so Alexis couldn't hear them, and hopefully it'd annoy her, too. "It seemed like your friend wanted you all to yourself, so Q and I just went to drink some more beers!"

"Alexis has to hook up with you!" Rachel shrieked then, her eyes wide, and her alcoholic breath ghosting across Santana's face, "That's why you had to meet! You're perfect for each other!"

"Not to burst your bubble, Berry," Santana said and moved her arms around the smaller girl, getting her groove on, "but we're really not. We're the exact opposite of perfect for each other."

Rachel made a pouty face and stared at her. "But you're supposed to be perfect for each other! My school-friend and my room-mate!"

Butting in from out of nowhere, Quinn exclaimed, "Keep dreaming!" before she turned around and leaned towards Alexis, apparently asking for her attention.

Santana mentally told herself to thank Quinn later for that stalling, because now she could dance with Rachel alone. She wasn't quite sure why she was so desperate to keep the brunette away from Alexis, she just couldn't stand the thought of that other girl trying to put her moves on her dwarf. Rachel wasn't a person to put moves _on_; she was off-limits! She wasn't supposed to find some red-headed script writer to be with – that wasn't in their plans at all! It wasn't what Santana had pictured when she thought of the two of them living together; there was no Alexis in that picture. Of course she – logically – knew that Rachel couldn't stay single forever, but she didn't want that to mess up what they had now. She was happy with what they had; she thought that they were good.

Weren't they good? She fucking thought they were...

"Sorry Dwarf, she's not exactly my type..." Santana replied as she pulled Rachel closer and let their bodies move as one.

"But what is your type then?" Rachel softly questioned, looking up at her, even in her high heels. Her chocolate orbs were a bit cloudy, and they were standing out tonight, because they were circled in black make-up. "I mean... I can't really base anything on what I know from high school. There were all the guys, but they don't matter, and then... There was Brittany, which really, pardon me Santana, is hard to understand, because Brittany is a kind and gentle soul, but is she really right for you? I know she needs guidance, but you have so much more to offer. You need a girl who's sure that you're it, not someone who's just your best friend."

Santana wanted to get mad at Rachel for talking about Brittany like that, because no one spoke about Brittany like that, no one! But she couldn't quite get mad at Rachel for this; the other girl was drunk, and... she was also right. Somehow. After moving to New York it had been tough, she'd missed Brittany so much, and she still missed her, but... She was also starting to realise that what she and Brittany shared wasn't something that could last in the long while, it wasn't _real_ love in the romantic kind of way. She loved Brittany, she truly did, but she loved her like a friend. She'd been in love with her, yes, but she wasn't any more. Quite the contrary; she was ready to have her as a friend, support her, be her maid of honour the day she decided to walk down the isle with her chosen man. Santana herself... was ready to find a girl who wanted what _she_ wanted.

She spun around Rachel and danced behind her, placing her chin on the diva's shoulder, "I'm not sure what my type is." she whispered, just loud enough for Rachel to hear above the music.

She hummed in response, "It's just... I wish you'd let me set you up with someone from NYADA. Broadway is filled with gay people... You need someone who can challenge you, and performers are usually so full of themselves and temperemental! I'm just... I'm sure that that'd do you good."

"I'm not sure." she replied, and she placed a lingering kiss on Rachel's cheek then, letting her hand grace her arm as she moved from behind her and towards Quinn. She couldn't talk to Rachel right now; she just needed a second. And as soon as she pulled the blonde away from Alexis, Alexis made her way towards Rachel, immediately getting a lot closer than Santana cared for.

Quinn pulled her closer and hugged her tightly, "What's up, S?"

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," she told her friend, placing her lips closely to her ear, so only Quinn could hear, "and you need to go dance with the twins over there. Keep an eye on that Alexis, she's not getting into Rachel's pants if I can help it!" she finished; she needed Quinn to watch out for their midget while she was gone.

"But what if Rachel wants her in her pants?" Quinn questioned, but Santana didn't listen to her – she gave her a soft smile and pulled away from her friend. She figured that even in this state, Quinn could keep an eye on that red-head. She, herself, wasn't going to relieve her bladder in any way, quite the contrary. She was going to search for someone to relieve her somehow else.

_I need to hook up with someone, _she thought to herself, feeling the desperation overtake her. She wasn't sure what it was about her brief conversation with Rachel that made her feel like this, but she _had_ to find someone. She had a certain standard she needed to uphold, but other than that... She wasn't picky, because it was just for tonight, and she was drunk and horny.

Scouting the place, it didn't take her more than two minutes to find a girl who was up to her standards, and clearly a lesbian. Santana fixed her dress and took in a deep breath; it was a while since she had tried to score with someone, but she was quite fucking certain that she still had everything it took. She crossed the small dance floor and came to a halt in front of the girl and her group of friends.

"Hello." she said and glanced directly at her with a sexy smirk. "My name is Santana, and you're looking really hot." she paused and made sure to flaunt her body in the best way possible. "What do you say? Wanna take me home with you tonight?"

The girl; a stunning Afro-American with big brown eyes and curly hair to kill for, smirked at her. She gave her a once-over, just briefly, because really – it wasn't needed, Santana knew it was apparent how good-looking she was, and this other girl could see it, before she locked their eyes together. "Well hello Santana." she said, "I'd love to take you home tonight."

Reaching an arm out for the other girl to take, she waved briefly at her friends before she clung herself to her partner. She didn't know this girl, and this was what she used to do before she started dating Brittany; it worked for her, it satisfied her needs. She didn't want to think about what that did for her reputation back in Lima, because none of that mattered here. She waited for her date to get her coat and quickly typed a message for Quinn.

_Hooked up. I'll see you tomorrow before you head home. S._

* * *

_I am SO sorry about the delay (didn't I promise to do better? I'll promise again). I've had a lot of things going on these past few weeks, and that's all I can say for myself. I feel really awful! _

_I hope you liked this chapter though. Given the circumstances it probably needs a lot of editing, and it's rough around the edges. I'll probably proof-read it at some point, but I hope that this will do for now! :) _

_Please leave me your thoughts? And btw, what did you guys think of the latest episodes of Glee? I didn't care much for Britney 2.0, but I quite liked Makeover! Any thoughts? _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

As the sun was sneaking through the closed blinds above her bed, Rachel was slowly coming to the realisation that she had a horrible headache and that her body was _craving_ salt. It seriously felt like someone was banging a hammer against her scull, whilst her dehydrated intestines kept yelling 'French fries! French fries! French fries', oh and 'Potato chips!' too.

She was not going to give into it though. She was not going to let her body dictate what she was eating. She _wasn't _going to let it bully her into consuming unhealthy food. Okay, so that was perhaps a lie. She was _so _going to get Santana to run down to McDonald's and buy unmentionable amounts of French fries, which they could snack on as they crashed on the sofa all day, feeling bad for themselves.

She turned over in bed, breathing in deeply as she blindly tried to poke her room-mate in the side. "Santana..." she whispered, and she cringed when she heard how hoarse her voice sounded (this was why she should never drink alcohol and party; her voice was her livelihood, she couldn't mess it up like this and expect it to work wonders just two days after). "Santana, I need French fries." she continued softly.

There was a murmur and some slow breathing.

"Santana, I need French fries." she repeated, now poking the other girl even harder in the side.

"_Not _Santana." was the reply, and when Rachel opened her eyes, she was surprised to find her other friend staring at her with hazy eyes. "Quit poking me! I wanna sleep forever so I don't have to puke my guts up."

Forgetting all about her headache and her queasy stomach, Rachel pulled herself onto her elbows so she'd be able to glance around the room better. She was trying to see if she could locate her room-mate somewhere – perhaps on the floor? - but she was nowhere in sight. Maybe she had slept on the couch? After all, it seemed like her spot in the bed had been snatched from right beneath her nose. "Quinn, why are you sleeping here?"

The blonde groaned and pulled the duvet over her head. "I'm gonna puke." she said.

"You can puke in a minute!" Rachel desperately said, as she pushed her cover aside and rolled over the blonde girl (and judging by the sound she made, to great annoyance). She landed loudly on the floor and made a dash for the living room. She paused in the door, and stood there, for a while, because she couldn't quite understand why Santana wasn't on that couch. If she wasn't on the couch – where the heck was she? Had they lost her in New York City? Oh holy Streisand, they had lost Santana!

Suddenly there was a loud bang from behind her, and she managed to turn her head, just as Quinn roughly pushed her aside; one hand was covering her mouth as she made a run towards the bathroom. Thankfully she seemed to make it there, because the puking started _after _she'd smacked the door close. Rachel cringed when she heard it, but then continued to frantically look around the small apartment, trying to locate her purse. Where had she thrown it again? She couldn't remember a thing from last night. She needed her cell phone though, she had to see if maybe Santana had called or texted her...

She found her purse in the sink in the kitchen, and quickly dug her cell out of there. Swiping it open, she felt her hope sink – there was nothing from Santana, not a single missed call or a text. There was one from Alexis though, simply telling her (at 04:57 this morning; _Oh holy Streisand, they had been out late!_) that she'd made it home safely, and that it had been an awesome night. Rachel told herself to reply to her later.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen, she gulped it down (along with two aspirins), and tried to figure out where Santana could be. Should she call the police? _Or_ she could try just calling Santana first – wasn't that the best idea to do? She quickly raised the phone to her ear, but it went straight to voice mail.

(Now she was starting to panic a little bit more).

She needed to calm down though. Perhaps there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for this? Maybe Santana had gone out to get some breakfast? Maybe she'd needed some fresh air? Rachel knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Quinn..." she murmured, "I'm going to run down to McDonald's to get us something salty... I'll be right back, hopefully you'll feel better when I'm here."

"Cool." Quinn murmured through the door. It appeared that she was done puking, but simply did just not have the energy to stand up right now.

Rachel grabbed a pair of sweatpants and her thickest jacket and boots, before reaching for her purse. She was going to run down to McDonald's and perhaps Santana was going to be back, waiting on the couch, when she got home. Yes. That was the thing to do. And Santana was a grown-up woman, one should probably assume that she would be able to take care of herself, right? Of course it had been proved on several occasions that she could not, but...

Rachel smacked the door close and decided not to think about it.

**X **

Except Santana was not waiting on the couch when she got home. Quinn was though. She'd grabbed the duvet from the bed, and she'd popped in the first season of _Gossip Girl_. There were two cups of steaming coffees on the table in front of her, and she appeared to feel remarkably better.

Rachel dumped her two bags of food on the table and kicked off her boots. "Santana isn't home yet?" she questioned as she stepped out of her sweatpants and let her jacket fall to the floor. She couldn't help it; she really felt very nervous about her friend and room-mate right now.

Shaking her head, Quinn pulled the duvet aside and said, "I need some of that food, come here and sit."

Taking a seat next to her, Rachel snuggled beneath the duvet and felt herself relax. That trip to McDonald's had been extra-ordinary hard for her; she wasn't in her best shape after a night out like this. This was exactly what she needed though, and exactly what she'd had planned in her head for today. Except... in her mind, Santana had been there, too.

"I got you a burger with bacon in it." Rachel told her friend and threw it to her. It had felt entirely wrong to stand there and ask for something with meat in it, but she'd done it, because she knew exactly what her friend would need in her current state.

"Oh bacon!" Quinn happily said and unwrapped the burger with a happy smile on her face. "You're the serious best, Rach!" she cheered as she took a huge bite and made a contend sound. "I hope _Gossip Girl_ is okay with you?"

Rachel nodded absent-mindedly as she grabbed her coffee and placed it in a nook in the duvet, carefully making it stand without tilting. She then grabbed a bag of French fries and stuck one into her mouth. She didn't care what they were watching, she couldn't really gather her thoughts around it anyway. She kept thinking about Santana; she couldn't help it. Who knew where she was? What if something horrible had happened and she was lying in a ditch somewhere? (Although there weren't many ditches in New York, but Rachel decided not to think about that fact, because in her head, Santana was lying in a ditch, and that was not up for discussion). Quinn didn't seem to be nervous though, she was happily munching away on her burger and staring straight at the TV.

Taking a sip of her coffee (although French fries and coffee had never been a great combination), Rachel turned her head to stare at the blonde girl. "Why aren't you nervous for Santana, Quinn? She's not here! She could be anywhere. I'm fairly certain we should call the police."

Sighing, Quinn chewed for a few seconds more, before she sunk the food in her mouth and dropped her hands to let them rest on the duvet. "Santana's just fine." she said then.

"She is?" Rachel questioned, and she felt relief – mixed with confusion – overtake her body. It was a good thing to know that the other girl was fine, if Quinn really knew for certain that she was, but... How did Quinn know? Had Santana called her while she was gone? _But why hasn't she called me? I'm her room-mate!_ Rachel felt disappointed! She'd thought they were closer than this...

Quinn glanced softly at her, and Rachel couldn't quite read the look on her face. Her hazel eyes were slightly clouded and she seemed uncomfortable somehow. "She texted me last night while we were dancing."

Rachel bit her lip and tried to recall the events of last night. They'd been dancing, she could remember that. She'd danced with Alexis at first, and then she'd danced with Santana, and after that Quinn had taken them to get an uncountable number of tequila shots. Or... Rachel paused. Now that she tried to remember what had happened, she had the picture in her head, and... Only Quinn, herself and Alexis had been a part of _that_ part of the night. Where the heck had Santana been? "After we had all the tequila shots?"

Nodding, Quinn hummed out a 'yes'.

"I can't really remember anything after that." she tilted her head to the side, "Santana left us, and then what?"

"She hooked up." Quinn softly replied.

Rachel wasn't sure how to react to that. The immediate pang that she got in her chest was weird and uncalled for, and she didn't know why it got there. All she could feel was the queasiness in her stomach coming back, and the thought of Santana hooking up with some random girl was, for some reason, oddly disturbing to her. "She hooked... up?" Rachel questioned. She knew that Santana was a very sexual person, but it hadn't really entered her mind that that was what Santana wanted to get out of last night; she had appeared to be just fine without any sexual encounters since she moved in.

Quinn offered her a soft smile, "Yeah... I don't really know much. She just texted me that she hooked up with someone, and that she'd see me tomorrow. Which... is today." she shrugged her shoulders. "She'll probably be home later, we shouldn't worry."

"No!" Rachel quickly said, shaking her head and attempting to blink the weird vibe in her chest away, "No! No, we really shouldn't. She'll probably be home soon." she quietly murmured and bent her head, staring straight into the blackness of her coffee. She wasn't quite sure what to read into the somersaults in her stomach – were they supposed to be there? She wasn't quite sure. It seemed odd.

Turning her head away from the TV, Quinn whispered, "Are you okay? I didn't know you'd worry so much, I would have... told you."

Shaking her head, Rachel was quick to explain, "No, it's okay, Quinn. It's none of my business anyway. Santana and I are just room-mates, if she doesn't want to _share_ those things we me, I can't... I can't really do anything about it." she smiled softly at her friend and lifted the cup to her mouth for a long sip of coffee. It did her good; all she had to do was eat her fries, drink her coffee and take a shower later. Everything would probably be back to normal as soon as Santana was home, and she felt more refreshed.

Quinn arched an eyebrow, "I just..." she trailed off for a second, contemplating her next words, "I don't know how to say this, but I got this... weird vibe from you two last night. Are you sure that everything is okay? Nothing is going on with you two?"

"Going on!?" Rachel couldn't hide the smile on her face from the idea of _that; _what exactly was Quinn hinting at? What did she mean – and what on _earth_ could be going on? "No, no. I just – Santana and I have been hanging so much around each other, I was surprised when she suddenly wasn't here... Everything is just fine with us."

"Alright." Quinn lightly replied, and she accepted that answer easily (and really, why shouldn't she? It was the truth after all). She was quiet for a few seconds, finishing off her burger and taking her time to chew it, before she turned to Rachel again with a sideways grin. "What about Alexis, though?" she questioned, and she had this mischievous glint in her eye.

Confused, Rachel stared back at her friend. She had no idea what Quinn was getting at _now_, but whatever it was, what did Alexis have to do with anything? "Yes, what about Alexis?"

Quinn chuckled and grabbed a couple of fries from Rachel's bag. "She _wants_ you."

"What!?" Rachel questioned, and for a second, she wasn't sure whether Quinn was trying to fool her or not. She looked deeply serious (although slightly amused), but Rachel couldn't quite fathom why on earth she'd think that _Alexis_ wanted _her_ – as more than a friend! That had never once crossed her mind, and Alexis had never tried to make a pass on her. It had to be some kind of joke... Although, Quinn didn't appear to be tricking her. "Quinn, what are you talking about?" she softly questioned then, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear and glancing at Quinn.

The blonde girl had a grin on her face, and she seemed to think that this was very funny. "I am talking about Alexis and how she kept hitting on you last night." she said, "She's clearly not interested in Santana in any way, but... Just doing all of this to please you."

Shaking her head, Rachel said, "Alexis doesn't like me."

"Sure she does. She kept putting her moves on you on the dance floor, and like usual... You were completely oblivious to it." Quinn snatched another fry from her and then took a long sip of her coffee.

Rachel just glanced at the TV absent-mindedly, trying to figure out if Quinn was telling the truth or not. It'd be some evil joke to make if it wasn't the case, and she knew that Quinn wasn't the type of person to do that. But could that be right? _Was_ Alexis into her like that? She'd never considered the opportunity, even when knowing that Alexis was gay... But could it be? Really? "_Was_ she hitting on me?" Rachel whispered then, turning her head to look at Quinn.

"Oh she was definitely hitting on you." Quinn replied, not even turning to look at her; her eyes were glued to the TV, "No doubt about that."

"How?" Rachel whispered. If Quinn knew this for certain, she had to enlighten her, because she hadn't noticed anything herself.

Quinn smiled softly at her. "It's just very clear to me –_ and_ Santana by the way," Quinn added, giving her this certain look, "and it's just in the way that she looks at you, and how she kept dancing with you." she shrugged, "I don't know. It's just clear."

Biting her lip, Rachel really wasn't sure how she was supposed to reply to this; what does one say to such revelation? She was thankful that Alexis hadn't told her, because she would have felt awfully uncomfortable if she hadn't been able to say anything to the other girl after she bared her feelings for her. "Really?"

"_Really_." Quinn replied and turned her head away again, staring right back at _Gossip Girl_.

Trying to figure out what to do with this new information proved very difficult for Rachel. She wasn't sure if she should thank Quinn for telling her this, or not. Of course it was nice to know something like that, but how was she going to react the next time she saw Alexis? She couldn't just ignore the fact that she knew something like this, could she? She usually wasn't a person to do something like that, but... Maybe it'd just be better not to tell her that she knew, because... her and Alexis? _That_ was an odd thought!

On the other hand though... Rachel couldn't hide her smile as an idea struck her.

Quinn whispered, "Why are you smiling like that now?"

"Just thinkin'." Rachel softly sang.

"About what?"

Blushing slightly, Rachel decided she might as well tell Quinn about the thought she'd just had, "Well... I just thought that... I've always been attracted to other girls, you know? I just haven't really had the opportunity to act on it in high school because I had Finn, but..." she paused, and she could feel her face grow even hotter, "Maybe now's the time to try it out?"

Pausing the DVD again, Quinn stared at her with wide eyes, "Hold on a sec..." she said, turning to look at her, "Are you saying that you _wanna_ date Alexis?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Alexis is a very attractive girl. And we have so much fun together. So why shouldn't I? It'll be a great experience for me..." she licked her lips, "And what if I have to play a lesbian someday? It'll make my performance so much better to have something of reference. _And_ it's great material for my future memoirs!"

"You're crazy." Quinn replied, without blinking.

"...I am?"

"_Absolutely_." Quinn firmly said, and she was quiet for a few seconds, like she was really thinking about something important, before a small grin broke out on her face, "But I think you should do it."

Rachel couldn't hide the grin that came onto her face then. She had no idea that this new thought meant so much to her, but apparently her subconsciousness liked it very much. "Should I?"

Quinn nodded, "Definitely. I'll be so good for you!"

Squealing loudly, Rachel wrapped her arms around the blonde girl, "Do I really have your support!?" she whispered into the other girl's ear. She was really excited by the thought of this. Alexis and her didn't know each other well enough to be entirely in the friend-zone yet, so this was the perfect moment to strike! Hopefully Quinn really was right about Alexis, because otherwise that'd end up entirely awkward...

"You'll always have my support." Quinn whispered as she pulled away. Her eyes were sincere, and her smile was real, and Rachel was so thankful that she had a friend like her. She didn't know what she'd do without Quinn; she actually wasn't sure why she'd ever managed to not be friends with this amazing person.

Leaning back in the couch and grabbing her fries with renewed happiness, Rachel said, "I'm going to talk to her on Monday." she whispered.

"Or you could just go talk to her today?" Quinn suggested, and although her enthusiasm about this stroke Rachel as slightly odd, she couldn't help but think that it was a good idea.

As the front door was slammed open, they heard Santana greet them in the hallway, "Fuckers! I'm home!" she yelled, and there was some banging as she stepped out of her shoes and jacket. Stepping into the living room, she looked absolutely worn and tired; like she had gotten even less sleep than them. She smiled at them, "Oh, having a party without me, I see?"

"You weren't here." Quinn stiffly replied as she made a show of taking a big bite of her burger.

Santana stepped across the floor and grabbed Rachel's cup from out of her hands, "'Morning Dwarf." she whispered, before she took a long sip of it.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Good morning Santana." she stiffly replied. She wasn't quite sure why she was annoyed with the other girl (she hadn't been feeling like that before, but now that Santana was home... Man, she wished that it was just her and Quinn again). Perhaps it was just because she had the audacity to stay out all night and not tell her? They were room-mates after all – they had to keep each other updated on stuff like that!

Glaring at her, Santana said, "Who ruined _your_ day?"

Turning to Quinn, Rachel said, "I am going to take a shower, and then I'll go to visit Alexis for a bit – so you'll know everything before you leave." she pressed a kiss to Quinn's cheek and brushed pass Santana and into the bathroom. She locked the door right behind her and turned on the water in the sink – she didn't want to hear what Santana had to say about her behaviour, and most importantly... She didn't want Santana to hear how she was feeling.

Because for some reason – tears were building up in her chest, and she couldn't stop herself from crying. She had no idea why, she had no reason to cry, but she couldn't help it... The cries came out of her throat and she buried her head in a towel, and when the tears started spilling, she stripped out of her clothes and continued to let herself weep in the shower.

What was wrong with her today?

**X**

She was fuming in her seat, and she couldn't help it. Santana was simply mad; mad at Rachel Berry and mad at stupid Quinn Fabray who was just eating her stupid burger and watching stupid _Gossip Girl_! Who the fuck had ruined their day? Why had they been so fucking down the second she'd walked through the door!? What a way to ruin the awesome night they had yesterday! It had really been a fantastic evening, and this was the way they wanted to treat her when she got home?

Rachel had really been weird when she walked through that door. She hadn't wanted to meet her eyes, and she'd hurried out of her seat faster than humanly possible. After she'd showered, she'd ignored them completely as she got ready, and then she'd quietly said goodbye and left the apartment.

That was forty fucking minutes ago, and now Quinn was in the shower, and _Gossip Girl _was still fucking playing, but Santana wasn't paying any attention. She hadn't gotten much sleep, she was fucking hangover, and she was sore everywhere (one night of hot sex after several months of abstinence will do that to you). She'd been eating Rachel and Quinn's left-overs, but for some reason those weren't satisfying her craving for salt.

She kept thinking about that girl she went home with. The sex had been good, even if they were both drunk, and she had been hot and good with her tongue. But it was just... It was nice, nice to get laid, but not really nice to go from sharing something intimate with Brittany, to something like this. She couldn't quite believe that that was what she used to do all the frigging time in high school. Why was it that she had liked that so much? She couldn't quite understand that. It had been good, but... Not fantastic, not like she knew it could be.

She'd saved the girl's number though (as 'hot girl from club'), because she had told her that she'd always be ready for a booty call, but not for anything else. Even though Santana hadn't felt as great about it as she thought she would have, she'd decided to keep it in mind if she ever got really horny again. It was a nice option have, alright? It'd get her laid when she needed it!

She was still angry though. Angry at Rachel's stupid reaction and Quinn's stupid eating, and why was Rachel going to see Alexis anyway? They just saw each other last night! Couldn't they spend more than one fucking day apart? Who needed to see someone as often as that!? That was just plain stupid and needy and fuckety fucking fuck! And Quinn! What did she have to know?_ Everything_? What did Rachel mean by _that_?

Finishing off the last of the fries, Santana finally dragged herself off the couch again. She couldn't care enough to shower right now; she just changed into something a lot more comfortable and took off her bling. She could hear that the shower had stopped in the bathroom, so she decided to go make her and Quinn some coffee. She was going to figure out what those two had been up to until she got home!

"Quinn! I'm making coffee!" she hollered through the apartment and there was some murmur in reply and she took that as a 'yes'. She couldn't stop thinking about why Rachel had gone to see Alexis? Seriously, what did they need to talk about from last night until now? What could be so fucking important that it couldn't wait two frigging days!? Quinn knew, and oh she was going to _spill_!

Santana had just finished making herself a sandwich when Quinn sat down in the living room, immediately reaching for her cup of coffee. The Latina took a huge bite of her food (man, cheese and sandwich spread, what a wonderful combination!) and sat down in front of her; not on the couch, but simply on the floor on the other side of the table (that way she had better view of her, and Quinn had nowhere to run).

"It's some good coffee." Quinn said then, placing her cup on the table, "I love coffee."

Squinting her eyes together, Santana smirked, "Sure you do."

Quinn smiled at her. "So. It's a shame that you left last night. Apparently I got very drunk and bought shots for everyone. I think it seemed like a good idea at the time, but today I have a headache and an overdraft on my account... So. Not really a good idea _at all_."

Santana licked her lips, "But I went home with a hot girl. Definitely a good idea at the time _and_ today."

Shrugging her shoulders, Quinn didn't seem to agree with her. "I don't really think it was such a good idea at all, actually. But you decide, so I'm just gonna shut up now."

"Why was it not a good idea?" Santana asked then; she couldn't help it, she was so on the fence about Quinn and why she was acting the way she was, and she wanted to know what the fuck her deal was. Why was she acting like this, what did she have to say about it, and _why _had Rachel gone to see Alexis? "And please, don't bullshit me, Q. You and I never did that shit to each other, and Rachel isn't here, so we don't have to play nice."

Quinn seemed to think about that for a second or two; she watched her, her hazel eyes moving over her face as she was deep in thought. A small smile came on her face then, and Santana knew that she had convinced her (and it hadn't been fucking difficult at all), "I don't know why, but I thought that there was something odd happening with you and Rachel last night, and-" she glared at Santana, when the Latina opened her mouth to object, "-and do _not_ interrupt me, S, let me finish! _Thank you_. And I didn't know what to read into it, so I just figured it's because the two of you are getting so much closer and it's weird to me, but then... Then Alexis kept hitting on Rachel and you got really upset, and you left with that girl, and..."

Narrowing her eyes in on the blonde girl, who had finally stopped speaking, Santana wondered what was going through Quinn's mind. She couldn't care less about what Quinn thought she could see between her and Rachel, all she cared about was the fact that Alexis had been hitting on their diva friend, and that wasn't okay with her. "Are you done now?"

"And this morning Rachel asked me what was up, so I told her that I'm pretty sure Alexis likes her, and Rachel thought it would be a good idea to give it a go." Quinn lightly rattled off, before she turned her head away and hid behind her cup of coffee.

It took Santana a few seconds to realise what had just come out of her mouth (yeah, give her some credit, she was still hungover). _Rachel asked her what was up, she told her that Alexis likes her – that bitch – and Rachel thought that it was a good idea to give it a go – what the fuck!? Rachel thought what!? _"What did she think?" she spat, glaring at Quinn, "Q, look the fuck at me! What happened?"

Turning around to smile softly at her, Quinn carefully replied, "Rachel thought that she should give it a go with Alexis. So she asked me what I thought."

"You did not tell her to do it, did you?" Santana hissed, and she could feel her heart beat so rapidly in her chest that it was about all the way in her throat. She had no idea why she was reacting this strongly to all of this, and why on earth she cared this much about whether or not Alexis wanted to hit on Rachel. It didn't make any sense! She shouldn't care this much about it. And she definitely should _not_ be this upset when she found out that Quinn had told Rachel about. "Q, I swear to all that is fucking holy, that you have better _not_ told her to do it!"

Raising an eyebrow, Quinn just stared directly at her. There was something in her eyes, something that told Santana that that was exactly what Quinn had done, yet she didn't want to believe it. Rachel could not be there right now, telling that red-haired nerdy beauty that she wanted to go on a date with her. "I told her why not." Quinn finished, and the smirk on her face was absolutely annoying.

Glaring at her, Santana wanted to rip her head off. No really. She wasn't exaggerating, she truly wanted to rip her head off, just so she wouldn't have to see that smirk. "What the fuck, Q?!" she snapped, "You told Rachel to date that motherfucking stupid girl!? Why the frigging frack would you ever think that that was cool?"

Shrugging, Quinn replied, with an attitude that was even more annoying than her smirk, "Because Rachel is single and it'll be good for her? Becaaaaause maybe it'll broaden her horizon to date a female? Because it'll do her good in her future career? Because she needs the fun?"

Santana shook her head and angrily hammered a hand into the couch, "Those are so fucking stupid reasons! Rachel can't date her! She's – she's – she's stupid!" pause, "And ugly."

Quinn sighed, "Oh please Santana, you and I both know that Alexis is far from stupid and ugly, and I can't by any means figure out why you're so against the fact that this will make Rachel very happy."

"You're such a frigging saint." Santana replied. She wanted to tell Quinn off, to tell her some amazing reason for disliking Alexis so much, but she couldn't (because she fucking did not have one). She wished that there was some logical reason for her to be this upset, but she couldn't really find one. All she could explain to herself was that Alexis wasn't good for Rachel, and that was that.

Laughing, Quinn placed a comforting hand on Santana's thigh, "Sure thing, S. I don't know why you never seem to be able to face your feelings, but whenever you wanna talk about it, just give me a call. I know it'll take awhile, and I'll be there when you need me."

Santana huffed. "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about, but thank you so frigging much, ass-clown."

"You're welcome." Quinn whispered, before she reached for the remote control and turned up the volume on _Gossip Girl_.

Falling back in the couch, Santana crossed her arms across her chest and huffed a little bit more. She didn't like the knot in the pit of her stomach, and she didn't like the way that Quinn appeared to be a know-it-all when there was nothing to know and nothing to see. She didn't want Alexis to date Rachel, because she didn't want Alexis to hang around this apartment even more. She'd had enough of her, and there was something about that red-head that she truly didn't like.

Alexis just wasn't good enough for Rachel, that was it. Rachel deserved only the best, and nothing but. She was her room-mate, her friend, so Santana was just looking out for her. It was natural, wasn't it? Just natural...

Yeah, that was it. Rachel was her friend, and she was just taking care of her.

* * *

_Thank you so much for your reviews for the last chapter! I am so glad that you liked it – your support means the world to me :) I hope this chapter was alright, too? Things are slowly starting to become evident (at least for a certain blonde girl), and before you hate me for having Rachel go to talk to Alexis... Just... Wait and see where I go with it :) hopefully you'll like it! _

_Please leave me your thoughts – I love to hear what you all think! _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee (or Gossip Girl). _


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

As soon as Quinn went back to Yale, things started being _really_ weird between them. They had barely spoken since they said goodbye to Quinn, and while their blonde friend had been there, she had mostly carried the conversation, and everything else had been strained and odd, and so not like it used to be.

Rachel had returned home from Alexis Saturday evening, and she'd proclaimed that she and Alexis were going out on a date sometime next week – just to see if they had any chemistry on that level. Quinn had been happy, and Santana herself had been annoyed, and replied with the fact that she was also going out on a date with Rebecca (yup, she made up a fucking name for her hook-up, don't judge her, alright?), and that their hook-up had been super hot.

So naturally, as soon as they'd said goodbye to Quinn, Rachel clamped shut as an oyster, and it had been really fucking difficult to get a single word out of her all Sunday. Which, fuckety fucking fuck, wasn't really frigging fun at all. In fact, Santana would categorise this as the least fun thing she'd ever experienced, perhaps just right after that time when her grandmother told her that she didn't want to know that she was a lesbian (that hadn't really been pleasurable at all, either).

They'd spent all Saturday trying to be in the apartment together while there was that tense and awkward silence, and Santana had just been happy to leave for a 12 hour shift at _Rusty Rick's_ Monday morning, just so she wouldn't have to look at Rachel over her morning coffee. It was really fucking hard for her to concentrate though – she simply couldn't. Rick told her to do all kind of different things (like serve the customers, what an odd thing to do, right?), and she couldn't even wrap her head around that.

She couldn't fucking help herself, alright? She couldn't stop thinking about that Alexis girl, wrapping her arms around Rachel, kissing her, hugging her, seeing her... naked. _Don't fucking go there, Santana, _she told herself, _do really not fucking go there. _She couldn't really understand why it bothered her so much anyway. Rachel was her friend, of course, and that explained why she didn't want some easy girl hooking up with her. If Rachel was really gonna be into girls, then that was cool, but she didn't want some stupid girl being her first! That was supposed to be a good experience, and Alexis was just not good. In any way. At all. Santana was _sure_ of that.

(Even though she had no fucking clue).

Rick yelled a bit at her and told her to go to lunch and then get her head out of her ass, so she spent her break eating a home-made sandwich (that she had had to make herself, thank you very much, because Rachel was too upset with her to do it) and calling Puck.

"I just don't fucking see why she has to go out with _her._" Santana told him, grumbling, and hating the way that her sandwich was just not moist enough (Rachel always mad them so frigging perfect), "Of all the girls at NYADA, she has to choose the absolute most effing idiotic and ugly?"

Puck chuckled into the phone, "Rach sent me a picture of her, she's not ugly, and she's probably not idiotic either."

Santana huffed, "She sent you a frigging picture?"

"Sure thing. She's my Hot Jew, she knows I need to know stuff like that. Actually, it's on a need-to-know basis, so after you and Quinn, I think I was the first to know, and then Kurt." he paused, "That just shows me how considerate she really is to me."

Licking her fingers, Santana sighed, "You're stupid, Puckerman."

He chuckled again and said, "No Lopez, _you're_ stupid."

"_What the fuck _are you talking about now?" she hissed at him. She hated when he hinted things like that, when he emphasized stuff, it was exactly the same thing that Quinn had done the other day, and what was that supposed to do? Make her realise stuff or something? She couldn't do that! There was nothing to realise, thus nothing for them to emphasize. And she was frigging tired of talking to that idiot now.

"You'll figure it out eventually." he just replied.

"Goodbye, ass-hat." she spat at him, before she hung up the phone and had to return to work.

She was a bit more focused after that (though still very much not performing at her best), but she managed to hide it a little bit by delivering orders. Those few seconds it took her to figure out which table that needed their coffees were hard on her, but afterwards, it was just peachy walking to the table and serving customers with a fake smile on her face. Rick seemed to be a bit more pleased with her after that (which was really fucking something). She knew she wasn't performing at her best, and it sucked, and she wished she could do something about it. She didn't want to lose this job; it was a fucking awesome job, and who knew if she'd be able to get a new one this close to home and with such an awesome boss and co-workers?

Santana knew that she was pissed with Rachel, and that Rachel was pissed with her, and that the both of them weren't talking to each other. But when she got home at nine o'clock that evening, she was tired, and worn out, and even though that she had been adamant not to talk to Rachel before the other girl talked to her, she couldn't ignore the fact that there was blood in the sink and on their floor in the bathroom _and_ hallway.

Holy shit, there was blood in the sink! And very much of it actually! And tiny droplets in the hallway and on the bathroom floor, and Santana dropped her bag to the ground and felt her heart speed up a little bit. Glancing quickly into the living room, she could see that the blood had left an obvious trail from where she stood – and straight towards the bedroom.

What the fuck had happened in here? There was far too much blood for her liking! Had there been some crazy murderer, interrupting Rachel in her post-school shower? Or had she cut herself insanely much with her shaver? It looked absolutely insane, and Santana was contemplating just calling an ambulance immediately.

She tiptoed soundlessly (she couldn't help herself; what if the murderer was still in the apartment?) around the blood stains while she'd practically already dialled the short emergency number. Holding her breath, she held her finger on the call-button, and slowly pushed the door into their bedroom open. She was afraid to peek inside, but she did it, like a bad motherfucker, and the sight that met her eyes – it wasn't some crazy murderer with an axe, but it was Rachel, sitting on the side of the bed, wincing and biting her lip, as she carefully unwrapped a blood-soaked towel from around her foot.

"What the fuck happened?" Santana snapped, before she could even stop herself from spilling those words. The towel – which used to be white – was almost soaked through, and the brunette's foot was smeared in blood, and her other foot was still wrapped in a towel, a towel that was just as red as the one that she had in her hand.

Looking up, caught entirely by surprise, Rachel replied, "Just ballet." she winced, and she then bit her lip, as she tried to dry off her foot. It looked like it hurt like hell.

Forgetting all about their current dispute, Santana pushed the door all the way open and fell to her knees in front of her room-mate. "Ballet?!" she asked, ripping the towel from Rachel's hand and carefully trying to dry off her foot, even though it seemed hopeless with that towel. "Huh? Does that teacher make you walk on broken glass or something?"

Rachel shook her head, and there were tears gathering in her eyes, "No. I just haven't practised enough lately. That's what Miss July informed me also, and now I can see – and _feel_ – that she was correct in her assumption." she breathed out shakily as Santana carefully unwrapped her other foot, "I started with that new extra teacher of mine, and he was very interested in my earlier capabilities in performing pointework. I told him that I had, in fact, been dancing en pointe back in Lima, and he thought we should start breaking in my new pair of pointe shoes immediately."

Santana stared up at her friend, who was clearly in pain, and she couldn't help but feel angry that someone made other people do this – that Rachel was willing to do this to herself. It was that damn Miss July's fault! She was the one who kept pushing Rachel over her limits, and that was just fucking uncool! "What?" she questioned, hating the way that Rachel whimpered when she removed the towel completely, "They make you do this to yourself? Really fucking seriously?"

"It's a special form of performance a ballerina can do in ballet when she has the desire to appear weightless." Rachel explained, smiling softly at Santana, and her eyes were a bit more dry, and she looked pretty as she was glancing down at her, "It's a very difficult move, and it requires these special shoes." she softly graced the light pink shoes next to her on the bed, "Usually there isn't this much blood, we have special toe pads and toe spacers to prevent discomfort, but since I'm breaking these in and it's been awhile since I last danced en pointe... it's going to hurt a little bit."

Dropping her hands from Rachel's foot, Santana tried to force out a smile as she looked at the other girl, "But it seems so masochistic." she whispered. She couldn't, by any fucking means, figure out what made Rachel want to do this to herself. Was all this shit really necessary to be on Broadway?

Rachel couldn't help but chuckle a little bit, "Masochistic? Really?" she giggled.

Santana nodded her head. "Hell yeah! It's stupid! Don't do this to yourself, Rach." she reached for both the towels, trying not to touch any blood even though that was a difficult task, "It's that crazy bitch's fault. She's the one pushing you too much. You don't need this shit. You have your voice, that should be fucking good enough. No one fucking sings like you do."

Reaching an arm out, Rachel placed a hand on Santana's cheek and carefully forced her to look her in the eyes. "Was that really a compliment from you, Santana? You're really too kind."

"Yeah, you know how I do." Santana sassily joked, before she stood up from the floor, the towels dangling from her fingertips. "Stay put, Rach, you need to rest those dancing feet. I'ma go fix you some water, alright?"

"Thank you." Rachel sincerely whispered, and Santana smiled softly, before she hurried into the bathroom, throwing the towels in the sink and turning on the water. She then went into the kitchen, putting their dishpan in the sink and turning on the hot water. That'd probably be better than cold water, right? It'd be fucking much better, Santana was sure of that! She then paused in the doorway into the kitchen, contemplating her next move.

Rachel couldn't fucking sit in their bedroom all night. That'd be no fun. But she couldn't walk on her feet, they seriously needed to rest for, like, ever. She returned to the bedroom and looked down at Rachel, a hand on each hip. "Hey Dwarf, you can't stay in here all night, so I'm going to carry you onto the couch. Relax, Aunty Santy has everything under control!" she made a happy face and bent down to grab the other girl; an arm beneath her knees, and one around her back, and because Rachel was taken by surprise, she squealed and didn't object at all, and Santana easily carried her the short distance from their bedroom and to the couch. She dropped her onto it, quite satisfied with how awesome she was as a room-mate right now.

Laughing, Rachel glanced up at her, and there was something oddly sexy about the way that her hair was strewn around her head like a halo, and the way that her eyes were glistening, "That was fun!" she laughed, and Santana would never admit this aloud, but she'd fucking missed her laugh, a laugh she hadn't heard since last Friday.

Winking at her, Santana returned to the kitchen – the dishpan was just about full, how awesome was her timing? - and she turned off the water and carefully balanced the full dishpan into the living room, trying to walk slowly so she didn't spill. She also had to step over the blood on the floor, but she made it there, and she placed it on the floor, and Rachel immediately, carefully, lowered her feet into the water. She winced at first, it was hot after all, but she smiled happily afterwards, apparently very much relieved.

Santana gave herself a mental shoulder pat; how frigging awesome wasn't she being right now? She should win a frigging shiny award for best room-mate after this! No one could beat her as being an awesome room-mate, she was fucking sure of that! "I'm going to clean the floor and make us some dinner." Santana said, and she grabbed the remote control on the table and threw it at the other girl.

"Thank you." Rachel whispered, and Santana turned away before things got way too fucking mushy for her, and she grabbed a clean washcloth from the kitchen, soaked it with water, and then started wiping away the trail of blood that Rachel had left. She ended up in the bathroom, where the water had just about washed away all the blood from the towels, and Santana started wringing them, hoping to empty them entirely so one time in the washing machine would be enough.

After all of that she was quite pleased with herself. She had so not fucking thought that this would be how she'd spend her night (in her head she'd pictured something along the lines of Rachel ignoring her, and eating half-cooked noodles for dinner), but when she returned to the living room, Rachel proclaimed that she had ordered take-out and that it'd be there very soon.

Santana popped in a movie and got the dishes, and when their food was there (Chinese, fucking yes!), they sat down together on the couch, and it was like the last few days hadn't happened at all. Logically, both of the girls knew that they had, but Santana decided not to think about that, think about Alexis, and it appeared that Rachel had decided not to think about 'Rebecca' either.

It was like it had been before. Only something strange was still luring right around a corner (Santana could feel it, she just fucking could). _Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm really fucking full and tired right now. _

She yawned and stretched out, resting her head on Rachel's shoulder, and not more than two minutes later – she was asleep.

**X **

Rachel couldn't deny that Alexis was quite the charmer. She was beautiful, funny, she had a certain glint in her eye when she spoke. She had complimented Rachel on her appearance the minute they met each other, she'd handed her a bouquet of flowers, and been nothing but kind the entire evening. She'd even paid for their dinner and their movie tickets. It was an original and traditional date that they'd been on, and that was exactly what Rachel loved and adored.

Alexis was... the perfect date. By all means, she was more than perfect. She had treated her better than Finn had ever done (as if she didn't know he'd once forgotten that she was a vegan and served her meat). It was a pleasant experience to be out with someone who was so kind and gentle with her, but who was also so confident and sure of herself.

She truly felt beautiful tonight; Alexis kept sending her smouldering glances across the table during dinner, and even though she never grabbed her hand in the movie theatre, her hand brushed against hers so many times that it simply couldn't be accidental. The movie they watched was romantic and sweet, just the right thing to watch on a date; Rachel was pleased, she enjoyed every part of the night. She'd always enjoyed Alexis' company, and this was no exception... Everything was _perfect_ for her.

Except for the fact she still wasn't sure that this was the right thing to do. Sure, she'd acted so certain in front of Quinn the other day – and yes, she did want to do this, because it would be good for her, just like Quinn had also said – but now... She wasn't feeling so good about it anymore. She adored Alexis, she had since the second she accidentally bumped into her on campus, but did she feel for her the way that she was supposed to feel for her when they were out on a date? It was clear to her that Alexis was very into her (how she'd missed this before, she still wasn't sure), and it wasn't fair to string her good friend along, if she didn't feel the same.

She _was_ excited to be there. She felt a tingle in her lower stomach when Alexis complimented her, and she was sort of flustered by the thought of maybe... kissing the other girl, touching her, getting close to her in a way that she had ever really only been close to Finn.

"You look so beautiful tonight." Alexis told her, for what seemed like the thousandth time that evening, when they had just stopped in front of her apartment building, after a quiet walk home from the movies. Her face was slightly shadowed in the faint light from the street lamps, and her eyes were glistening beautifully, and Rachel wasn't sure if this was the moment where she was supposed to lean up and kiss her, of if she should perhaps wait and see what happened on their next date.

"You've said that." Rachel shyly whispered and bent her head; what was it with her today? She was having trouble accepting Alexis' compliments, and it didn't seem like her. She glanced up them, she could feel herself bursting with happiness; it was hard to contain it, these bubbly feelings on the inside. "You look very pretty as well."

Alexis reached a hand up and softly brushed a piece of Rachel's brown hair away. "I am so happy that you decided to come to me. I don't think I would have ever had the guts to tell you how I really feel." she whispered.

Rachel savoured her touch on her skin, and she felt herself leaning slightly into it. "I just – I had a talk with Quinn, and I figured... Why not? I've never really dated a girl before so it's all so new to me, but..."

Her breath hitched, "But?"

"You need to take it slow with me." Rachel honestly replied, letting the truth slip from her lips, the thoughts she'd been thinking all night, "I'm not sure what's going to happen, I just... I know I was glad to be with you tonight, but I can't promise you anything."

Nodding, Alexis let her hand drop and sighed softly, "I'm ready for that. I can... I can handle that."

Rachel whispered, "I'm glad." even though she wasn't sure that Alexis could handle it. She hoped with all of her heart that she would be able to handle this; that even if things didn't work with them as dates, they could still save their friendship. Alexis meant so much to her; she was her first – and so far only – friend from New York (Santana didn't count, she was from back home). Alexis made her happy, she made her smile, she... she made it nicer for her to get up and go to school. And what was wrong with that? That was supposed to be enough to be with someone, wasn't it? She felt like it was supposed to be enough... Maybe she just needed to wrap her head around the fact that she was dating this soft and delicate girl now, and not Finn.

"So," Alexis smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow at lunch?"

"_Definitely_." Rachel replied, and she tiptoed up to carefully peck Alexis on the cheek. She left a smudge of lip gloss behind, but she figured that Alexis wouldn't mind. "You're... amazing, Alexis." she whispered, as she placed a hand on the door, ready to push it open, "Thank you so much for... everything."

_Not just for tonight; the flowers, the movie, the wonderful dinner. But thank you for being my friend. For spending time with me, for caring for me. I care for you, I really do. _

Alexis waved childishly at her, and Rachel pushed the door open, and quickly went up the stairs without looking back. She felt so torn about this evening, about everything that had happened, and mostly the thoughts running through her head. It had been a wonderful evening, don't get her wrong, but she still didn't feel secure in her choice. She was pretty sure that it was going to be okay for her, and that she was going to figure it out – she just had to let it unfold the way that it was supposed to.

She soundlessly unlocked the door to their apartment, not sure if Santana would be asleep or not. She wasn't at work, but she did have work in the morning, so she might be sleeping right now, to rest for it. Rachel pushed the door open, but paused, immediately confused by the sound that met her ears. Was that... guitar playing?

Rachel closed the door behind her and dropped her purse onto the floor, while she kicked off her pumps. She held her breath; she didn't want to disturb Santana – if it really was her, but who else could it be? - while she was working. She was_ working_! Oh holy Streisand, Rachel almost couldn't believe it.

She peeked pass the doorway, and really had to restrain herself from uttering her happiness in a squeal; Santana was actually working! She was sitting on one of the chairs with Rachel's guitar in her hands and a notebook on the table next to her. There was also a pen, and Rachel could see scribbles! She was entirely consumed in the music, and it was so pleasing to Rachel. Santana had been living with her for a long time now, and nothing had really happened in regards to the dream that she had, but now... Now she was doing something for it, and taking into account the short time that she had been taking guitar lessons – she was _very _good!

"_Don't you ever learn... don't you ever listen..._" Santana sang as she softly strummed the guitar. Her voice was soft, raspy, and Rachel had had no idea how much she'd actually missed hearing the Latina sing up until this moment. There was something so special about Santana's voice, something she just loved and adored, and it made the other girl stand out from the crowd. She knew that she got it because she smoked cigars every now and then, but Rachel could disregard that entirely when the outcome was _this_ amazing. "_...to your heart? Don't you ever want to throw your life-support away?_"

She rested her head against the doorway and watched the other girl for a few minutes more. She was so consumed in what she was doing; she was scribbling away on her paper now, correcting things, and then strumming her guitar again. She looked beautiful, Rachel thought, in the faint light, and the way that her hair was so casually thrown up in a bun (like you rarely saw Santana). She wasn't wearing any make-up, she wasn't dressed for the kill. There was something so natural and raw about it, and Rachel made a mental note to tell the other girl that this was the way to go. If she was going to do _this_ kind of music, she had to be _this _Santana.

Rachel was well aware of the fact that this was a side that Santana rarely showed anyone, and that she probably wouldn't want to but... She knew that if Santana wanted to break through, she had to be honest and let the audience experience her true self. It was going to be a struggle for her to get there (along with all the other things she had to push through), but Rachel was confident in her. She was certain that the other girl would be able to make it, there was not a doubt in her mind that she would.

Santana had stopped playing or scribbling all together; she was staring straight out of the window, entirely quiet, and she seemed deep in thought. Rachel knew that she had no idea that she was watching her, and it was kind of creepy, so she cleared her throat and decided to announce her presence.

The other girl snapped her head to the side, "Rach! I didn't even hear you come home."

"You were deeply consumed." Rachel whispered, and she took a few steps, so she was standing behind Santana's chair, and wrapped her arms around the other girl, "It sounded very good." she whispered into her ear.

"It's fucking horrible." Santana replied and pushed the notebook away from her. "I just – I don't think that I'm learning to play the guitar fast enough! It's going to take years before I'll be able to perform my own stuff."

Rachel pulled the chair out across from Santana and took a seat. "Are you kidding me?" she whispered, as she shook her head and smiled, "You were sounding amazing just there. Considering the fact that you've been playing for such a short time.. you're good. But I knew that. You're very musical."

Santana smiled softly at her (Rachel could tell that the praise meant a lot to her friend, even if she was never going to say it aloud), "Yeah, if you say so, Berrycakes." she replied in a sarcastic tone, and as she pulled the guitar-strap over her head, she placed the instrument on the floor and let her eyes run slowly from Rachel's extended leg and upwards, landing on her face. "You look hot, by the way. How was your lady date?"

Shrugging, Rachel wasn't sure what to say to Santana. They were good now, things were as they used to be, but whenever Alexis was brought up, things always got a little weird (she was still trying to figure out why that was, but so far, she was coming up with nothing, which was just completely and entirely frustrating for a girl who was used to having all the answers). "It was good. Alexis was the perfect date. She was... charming and sweet, and she wasn't cheap. It was – it was the perfect date."

"Well I'm happy to hear that." Santana replied, even though it was pretty clear that she was _not_, "I guess you deserve to date someone who's not a modern version of Frankenstein, and I bet Alexis doesn't have puffy nipples shaped like pyramids. It's cool if you wanna go all lesbian on me, Berry, I mean, it happened to all of the other girls Finnept slept with, so my guess is that he's trying to break a world record or something."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh a little at Santana's long speech; it had been a while since she'd heard Santana spew so many horrible things in one sentence (it probably had something to do with the subject of Finn, a subject she had always been very keen on regarding verbal-smacking); Santana had changed a lot since she moved to New York, the things coming out of her mouth – and this was at home of course, Rachel had no way of knowing how she spoke when she was at work – were remarkably different from what she used to spew out back in the choir room at McKinley High.

The Latina raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, "Why are you laughing, Berry? I'm serious. I mean, if Finnocence really was _all that_, you guys would have stayed together even through all of this. Come join me on the right side, it's all fun and rainbows over here."

Shaking her head, Rachel finished chuckling and said, "You're shameless, Santana. You know that, don't you? _Shameless_!"

"That's just how I roll, you know that, Dwarf." she finished with a wink.

Rachel leaned back in her seat and tugged both feet up beneath her, so she was sitting Indian Style. It was a little bit uncomfortable on this dining room chair, but she was happy. Right this moment, everything felt nice, and she didn't want to move. She couldn't explain what it was with Santana; but being with her like this – it made Rachel's days so much better. It was hard to define it, to describe it, but... They were just good. She looked forward to their evenings together, every day she thought about what they were going to do that evening; who would make dinner, what would they have? Would they watch a movie or just sit together and talk? There were so many possibilities, but it seemed like no matter what they chose... she always loved it.

"We got a letter, by the way." Santana said then and reached over to sweep through a stack of papers on the table. "It seems like word has gotten around in Lima that we're living together... It's probably Britts and Kurt who has spilled to the entire Glee Club, and..." she pulled an envelope out and handed it to her.

Rachel turned it over and saw that it had already been opened. On the front though, it wad addressed to _Rachel Berry & Santana Lopez_, and she eagerly pulled the thick piece of paper out. She almost couldn't hide her squeal when her eyes swept over the first lines.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. William Schuester and Ms. Emma Pillsbury..._

"They finally picked a date!" she eagerly chipped, and her eyes met Santana's for a brief second, before she continued to read the invitation, "Oh my Streisand, we have to go, Santana! We _are_ going, aren't we?" she looked up then and stared at the other girl with a pleading look in her eyes. She had to go there. Mr. Schuester had been one of the most important role-models in her life; he'd taught her so many things, and she was going to be eternally grateful for that.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, Midget, I already phoned Rick to get that weekend off. I figured we might as well make a trip out of it, right?" she shrugged her shoulders, "You just need to figure out if you have any classes Friday, because if you don't, the tickets are cheaper on a Thursday. And we need to order them soon, because then they're also cheaper."

"I'm going to see my fathers." Rachel whispered then, and she couldn't help it, she felt so overwhelmed by the thought of that; she hadn't believed that that would happen before she went home for Christmas break, "And Finn will probably be there since he's going to be Mr. Schue's best man. And you... you're going to see Brittany." she softly finished.

The other girl smiled softly. "Yeah... I already talked to my parents, and uh – and I texted Britts. We're not going to pick anything up, not even just for fun. She uh, she's back with Artie, you know."

Rachel raised an eyebrow; that was surprising. "Artie? Again? Really?"

Santana shrugged, "I don't fucking know what's going through her mind. That girl's so sweet and gentle, and... She thinks that Artie needs her somehow. I can't really say anything about it since I moved across the country. Besides... I don't think Brittany was _ever_ going to marry a girl anyway. She's straight."

Nodding, Rachel agreed with her, "Yes... Yes, she never did appear to be more than bicurious." she whispered. She was so happy that Santana was finally moving on and realising that this was the case; it hadn't been fun for her to go through everything that she had been through in their senior year. She deserved someone who wanted the same things as her, and she was going to get that now. She was in New York! The place where dreams come true.

She pushed her chair back and happily said, "Anyway! I'm going to make us some tea, alrights? And we can plan the trip and figure out how to dress you for the occasion so you _don't_ look like a toddler with boobs."

"Wow, thank you, Santana, you're really too kind." Rachel replied sarcastically, and the funny thing was; she wasn't even offended by Santana's harsh comment, she just shrugged it off, because she knew that the other girl didn't mean it like that anyway.

"You know how I roll." she replied and flipped her head as she skidded into the kitchen and moved to prepare their hot drinks.

Rachel reached up and undid her earrings while she took in a deep breath. Today had really been an eventful day. Her date with Alexis had been wonderful, but somehow... She was enjoying this a lot more. Santana was humming in the kitchen, and they were planning things together and making decisions. This felt a lot more perfect than what it might appear as from the outside. She and Santana had really created something here; something nice and homey, something safe.

"Hey, Oompa-Loompa!" Santana barked from the kitchen then, "You want liquorice or cinnamon?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and slipped off the chair to join her friend in their kitchen.

* * *

_So sorry – once again – for the delay! I hope that this chapter, even if it is very short, was worth the wait! I can't wait to write their trip home, it's really going to be great, I think :) _

_I hope you enjoyed this – I will try to update a bit faster the next time, I promise! _

_The lyrics used in this chapter are by a Danish artist named Sonja Richter, the song is called 'Don't You Ever Learn', and it's really worth giving a listen – the entire album, named 'Careless Rapture', is really mind-blowing actually. _

_I am quite certain that I managed to use all of the ballet references correctly (since I, in fact, used to work – and still at times do – at the Royal Ballet in Copenhagen); I will apologise right now though, if someone who's read this chapter disagrees with me. I did not mean to offend anyone if I used the terms incorrectly, so please excuse me if that is the case. I've been flamed in one of my prior stories for a slight inconsistency with the facts of ballet (and someone took that in an extremely wrong way), and I never meant to upset anyone, so please except my apology (if I do have anything to apologise for). _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee or 'Don't You Ever Learn'. _


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight **

She called Quinn as soon as it had happened.

It was the natural thing to do. Quinn was her go-to friend when it came to these matters. Of course she could have contacted Kurt and told him the entire story, but somehow she believed that he wasn't going to react in the same way that Quinn would. Plus, Quinn just knew more about this, seeing as she had been present that weekend, and had advised her during her heart-breaking conflict. Santana could have been an option too, of course, but that was only if she was in the mood for crude comments and her room-mate's more than pleasant attitude regarding this subject.

So Quinn was the girl that she called.

When she was on her way home from Alexis that ground-breaking evening, where her entire view on life had changed (this was obviously very ideal material for her future memoirs), she called Quinn as she strolled down the pavement, practically walking on air (she knew that there was no way she could literally be walking on air, but she hadn't felt as light before, that was for certain, and really, it was a fantastic expression).

Her entire future had changed with just one simple action, and even though Quinn wasn't nearly as dramatic and enthusiastic about it as Rachel would have liked, her blonde friend gave it a try, and that was really all she could ask for, wasn't it?

"Alexis and I kissed." Rachel gushed into the phone, and for some reason – the fall weather wasn't as cold and moist as it had been lately, and the wind didn't sting her face, but rather caressed it in a kind and gentle way. Everything about this evening was wonderful, except for the fact that she had missed her ballet lesson, and Ms. July was going to absolutely murder her tomorrow.

Quinn hummed on the other end of the phone. "You did? Really?"

Rachel spun a piece of her hair around her finger. "Don't sound so surprised, Quinn. Did you think that I wasn't going to go through with it?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." Quinn answered absent-mindedly, and Rachel would have gotten annoyed with her lack of interest if she hadn't been soaring entirely.

"It was absolutely amazing, Quinn!" Rachel continued then, sighing happily, as she recalled the way that Alexis had softly grabbed her hand and tugged her closer. The entire date had been leading up to it, and Rachel had withheld herself, wanting to be sure that this was truly what she desired, both for her own sake and Alexis', but the moment had been right, and the other girl hadn't pushed her. It had been natural; they'd been out many nights now, and Alexis hadn't been cheap despite the fact that she had no money whatsoever. It was the natural thing to do, and Rachel found herself – as she realised what was happening – figuring out that it was what she had wished for, as well. "She had such soft lips! I never really thought about the fact that girls' lips are softer than boys', but they really are."

Quinn murmured in response "Hm?"

Rachel continued, deciding to ignore the fact that she had a less than enthusiastic conversational-partner, "Yes! It was incredible. Alexis is so skilled in that area, and I quite enjoyed her full lips compared to Finn's rough ones. I am beginning to think that girls are a far better choice than boys in the dating-area. I wonder why I never noticed before. If the sex is better in the same level as the kiss, girls are really ahead in points!"

"Most definitely, yeah. That's true. Hmm."

"Quinn, you are being quite the downer right now." Rachel sighed then, "I am going to hang up the phone. I will talk to you at a time much more convenient for you. Bye." she hung up the phone then, stuck it into her pocket and couldn't help but squeal loudly.

A few people stared at her after her sudden outburst, but she shrugged it off, and kept on skipping home. She couldn't contain her happiness; this was truly an amazing feeling. She could almost compare it to the way she had first felt after kissing Finn, but in a way – this gave more butterflies, butterflies who kept fluttering their wings in her stomach. It was different kissing Alexis with those soft lips, and the gentle hands that carefully had cupped her face. Her hair had been longer when Rachel moved to run her fingers through it, and her scent... It had smelled differently, much more feminine and flowery.

Perhaps she really was a lesbian? But how odd though. She had two gay fathers, and now she was gay herself? She didn't want to put a label on it though. She was still only trying to figure all of this out, she ought to give herself some time to really enjoy the experience and be sure before she told anyone. It was kind of funny how she was also living with a lesbian, and now she was being quite lesbian herself. Santana was definitely a lesbian with a big L. But she wasn't the 'typical' lesbian, the lesbian that people had prejudices against; she wasn't butch, she was actually quite feminine. Which, logically, Rachel knew that a lot of lesbians were (because she had grown up in that environment, and thus was far more educated than most people). Santana was... a beautiful girl. Both on the outside, but also on the inside – when she opened herself up at decided to let people in.

And it wasn't like she'd never thought that about other girls as being beautiful. She thought that a lot of women were stunning creatures; they just had something that most men didn't; a softer exterior, and more gentle and round features. She'd always been fascinated with the human body, and she was very aware of the fact that she was surrounded by beautiful women.

In high school she'd always been fascinated with Quinn's look; the All-American teenager, how she seemed so perfect and delicate in every way. She'd also been completely enthralled by Santana's beauty, especially after they moved in together and she had been able to appreciate it even more. Santana was sort of the exotic beauty, and she took well care of her naturally stunning features. Rachel had never understood why the other girl had decided to enlarge her breasts for vanity, because she had been pretty before, and she still was. The good thing was that it offered a nice cleavage that very few girls possessed naturally.

So yes, Rachel was very aware of the fact that she was living with an incredibly beautiful creature, and now that she found herself thinking about girls in that fashion... She became even more aware of it.

When she entered their apartment, a nice and delicious smell hit her nostrils, and even though she was full after a lovely dinner (they had had Thai... She quite liked that), she couldn't keep herself from salivating a little bit. What had Santana been doing?

She kicked off her sneakers and hung her jacket on the rack, before she entered the living room. The Latina was sitting on a chair by the window, her book of lyrics on the table and her guitar in hand – and an empty plate right next to her. This was how Rachel found her most evenings, when Santana was already home when she got home. It pleased her that the other girl was finally taking things seriously, and really going after her dream. If she didn't work for it, she was never going to get there.

"Hi." Rachel whispered and dropped her bag onto an empty chair. "Something smells good."

"I made pizza." Santana replied, and there was something odd in her eyes; something slightly cold, and Rachel didn't like it, "I wasn't sure if you were going to be home since you didn't say anything, so I made a vegan one." she nudged the plate slightly away from herself and continued, "It tasted like fuck, but I ate most of it."

Rachel couldn't help but feel warmed that Santana had considered her so much that she wanted to compromise her own dinner to please her. "Oh..." she whispered, "You shouldn't have, I was... out with Alexis."

Santana raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, I figured." she replied and then turned her head downwards to stare at the guitar, "There's a single piece left if you wanna have it now or whatever."

"Are you working?" Rachel whispered then. She wasn't sure what was really going on right now (or perhaps she should have called or texted, why was it that she hadn't done that again?), but she didn't like it. She didn't like the way that Santana was acting so coolly towards her, it stung and it hurt her, and it made her want to cry.

Without looking up at her, Santana replied, "Yes, I'm fucking working, what does it frigging look like?"

Rachel tentatively tried to reach out a hand (not that she actually reached out a hand, she reached it out metaphorically), "Do you want to watch a film together later? Your pick."

"I'm going to be working all night." Santana just replied.

Trying not to show her hurt (although it wouldn't have mattered, since Santana wasn't looking at her anyway), Rachel muttered, "Oh... okay." before she turned around and went into the kitchen. She made a big fuss about getting out the pizza, heating it up in the microwave and eating it (just to please her room-mate, hopefully it would soften her up a bit) before she went into the bathroom to take a long hot shower and wash away the events of the day.

She couldn't quite enjoy and soar in the delight of her kiss with Alexis after Santana had greeted her that way. It was actually quite impossible, because she could just hear the other girl strumming away on the guitar and singing along, while the water drummed down on her.

Hopefully Santana would be better tomorrow. Rachel couldn't stand it when she was mad.

**X **

Santana couldn't explain what it was, but she almost couldn't take it anymore. Something, somewhere deep inside of her was going to burst out. She felt like she was going to explode. It was going to happen eventually – not that she was even sure exactly what _it_ was. And that was the worst of it; not knowing what the hell was messing with her head.

It was like this fucking thing that made her want to kill Rachel one time, and then snuggle with her on the couch the next. When she was at work, all day long, she would picture in her head what kind of dinner she was going to make for them, which movie they were going to watch, or if she was going to help Rachel with her dancing. All day – she couldn't wait to get home. But then the second she entered their apartment, something else took over her fucking mind; she got angry. She was annoyed with the other girl, and she didn't want to be there.

She wanted not to look at her, because if she did, she was going to say something aloud that should rather be kept inside. So she always ended up locking herself inside of their bedroom to work on her music. Which was a good thing, because she got a whole lot of fucking writing done, and her guitar-playing was really coming along, but on the same time... She had to shake the mental picture of Rachel watching her with those slightly tearful puppy-dog eyes, and that was just fucking cruel. The other girl always acted like it was the end of the world when Santana fended her off – and the only reason she did it was to spare them both.

And she always felt a lot frigging better after she was done writing. She'd always thought that it was bullshit when people said that it helped to write lyrics; but it actually fucking did! She got all of her thoughts out, all of her frustrations, and she didn't even have to force it. It just came pouring out of her somehow, and that was really frigging weird – but also so very good!

Perhaps she'd soon be ready to play just a few songs in public? Or maybe just for Rachel (if she ever felt like not clawing her eyes out). And it was sort of odd, because she'd spent her entire high school career wanting to strangle Rachel, and now she did, again, but still – it wasn't the same anyway. Did that make sense? She wanted to kill the other girl, but differently? It fucking made no sense at all when she thought about it like that, so perhaps she just ought to stop thinking about it all together...

They were going to go back to Lima for a long weekend soon though, so things just had to get better between them. They simply just fucking had to. They'd spend the entire trip home rubbing against each other on the train. It'd be good to get some distance at home though, Rachel would stay with her fathers, and Santana herself would stay with her own parents. It'd be good to see them. She hadn't seen them in months, only heard their voices. It'd be really frigging good actually. She sort of missed them. And she missed Lima Heights adjacent, like that was even possible.

And even though she'd locked herself inside their bedroom last night, too, she hadn't been able to stop herself from reacting when she'd heard the music stop in the living room – and Rachel break down in tears. It had been pretty evident that she'd rehearsed something for school all night, but crying? That so wasn't cool, and Santana had had to do something about it.

Which was why she was now here. On her day off. At the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts. It was a really fucking confusing school, and a lot of nerds and weirdos were walking around in their own little worlds. But she'd had to do it. And she'd had to make sure that Rachel or Alexis didn't see her, so she was wearing her giant sunglasses and a sun-hat she found in Rachel's closet.

Now she was standing outside of Cassandra July's dance-studio (some kid had guided her here, and he'd better be right!), because she was really fucking doing it. She was going to tell that motherfucking bitch off, so Rachel could stop crying and whining all the damn time. It wasn't good for her ears. And it really fucking was not good for Rachel, because it was sort of hard on her. She was wearing herself thin with all of these extra dance lessons and shit. Santana couldn't just let that happen; Rachel couldn't lose herself like this. Performing had always been her joy, and now it was like a task – and that just wasn't cool.

Santana was just pretty damn sure that that July woman wasn't going to agree with her point of view.

She was a terrible person, that was for sure. Santana had never met her, but from everything she'd heard, it was pretty easy to tell that she wasn't someone Santana would care much for. Anyone who treated her midget horribly, well – they were just not okay in her book.

Taking in a deep breath, Santana pulled off the sun-hat and dropped it to the floor. She stepped towards the door – it was slightly ajar – and as she peeked inside, she took the sunglasses off and stuffed them into her bag.

"Who are you, and what are you doing inside of my studio?"

Santana's head snapped to the side and soon her eyes zoomed in on the woman who had addressed her. She stepped inside, and even though she didn't want to upset the beast already, she knew that she had to show her from the very beginning that she wasn't afraid of her. "I am Santana Lopez, and I have come to fucking talk to you." she tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes in on the blonde woman. "Cassandra July?"

She smiled evilly and turned away from the mirror to look at Santana. "That's me." she said.

The Latina just smiled at her, "Wippe-de-do."

Taking a few steps closer, thus making the distance between them shorter, Cassandra July said, "I assume you know who I am since you have come to seek me out," she paused, "but I don't know who you are. Could you please verify that for me? You ooze of newcomer. You don't belong here, do you, sweetie?"

"I'd never want to belong here," Santana fired back at her, determined to show this lady that she did not have the upper-hand on her. She was Santana motherfucking Lopez, and she could do this, "and don't call me sweetie."

Cassandra guffawed. "Alright, you have guts. I like it." she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared down at Santana from up high on her heels. "Now. What can I do to help you?"

Santana smiled sneakily at her, "I am friends and room-mates with uh – with Rachel Berry."

Raising an eyebrow, the woman was caught by surprise. "Rachel Berry? Really?" she gave her a once-over, and it was pretty clear to Santana that she couldn't get the facts to add up. "Obnoxious Rachel Berry from Lima, Ohio? The Rachel Berry who thinks she's so much better than anyone else, but in fact... can't really dance at all."

"Rachel's not here for dancing." Santana snapped, taking a threatening step closer, and glaring at the other woman, "She's here because she can sing. _Really _sing. She's got something that no one else has, and that's her voice. It's going to get her places._ You_ are her teacher." she paused, "Not her vocal coach, but her dance instructor. You are supposed to teach just enough to get her places, just enough to make sure that she's going to get those parts. If any casting director in the future is a little insecure about whether or not her voice is enough – and let me tell you, he'd be a fool if that was the case – you're supposed to have taught her just what she needs to get that part anyway."

Cassandra tried to fight a smile, but it appeared on her face anyway. "I'm amused." she said then, "I'm amused that you come here, thinking you call tell me how to run my class. Thinking that you can tell me how to treat my students. I'm doing with Rachel Berry what needs to be done."

Santana shook her head and poked a finger right into the other woman's stomach, "No!" she firmly said, "Rachel's feet are filled with blisters and wounds. She keeps bleeding because of those insane shoes she has to wear for those extra ballet classes. She cries herself to sleep every goddamned day. And it's not because she hasn't got what it takes, or because she hasn't paid her friggin' dues. It's because of you! You are wearing her down, and if you keep it up, she's not going to have anything left of her."

"Oh I'm thinking quite the contrary, Santana... was it?" she questioned and tilted her head to the side, "Like I said, I'm doing what needs to be done. I can't say I care much for your attitude towards me, but I do care that you support Rachel Berry." she took another step closer and lowered her voice, "Let me tell you something... I don't like Rachel's obnoxious know-it-all personality, but don't think I'm not smart enough to see when the real deal walks into my classroom..." she trailed off, "I could see it the minute she walked in – she has it. That thing, the thing that so many performers wish they had. It's something you can't learn, it's not a quality you can practise to get. She just has it."

Swallowing, Santana couldn't help but smile a little, because that was the fucking truth. She was just wondering where Cassandra July was going with this.

"And I know," she continued, "that Rachel has a big voice. A voice great enough for Carmen Tippadoe to consider her more than just once. She offered her special treatment. And Rachel's never going to be the best dancer in my classroom. She's never going to be the best dancer on Broadway. But she is _going_ to be a Broadway star. She's going to get the leads, even if her dancing is lacking. The only reason I'm pushing her... is because I want her to do _as much_ as she can."

"She is amazing." Santana whispered.

Cassandra nodded, "Hell yes, she is. But she's not ready to get out there. I'm hard on her, because I want her to be able to handle it when she graduates. She's going to get to the top, and when she's up there... She's going to send me a thank-you note for preparing her for the heat. It gets messy."

Santana licked her lips. She was quite fucking sure that she had understood things correctly, but that blonde woman talked more than Rachel, so she just had to be really frigging sure before she went home. "So you're saying..." she trailed off, "that Rachel is the most talented student you've ever had?"

A smile broke onto Cassandra's face then, "She needs to shine." she said. And she paused, shortly, before adding, "And I like that she has a friend like you... Who takes care of her. I didn't have that, and it all ended horribly. Keep doing that."

"I will." Santana said then, and as she turned to place a hand on the doorknob, she added, "Thank you."

"It was nice to meet you, Santana Lopez." Cassandra July replied, before she turned her back to her, and went back to dancing into the mirror.

Santana closed the door behind her and picked up the sun-hat. "Yeah, it was really frigging nice to meet you, too..." she mumbled to herself as she pulled the sun-hat on and prepared herself to sneak off campus again, "_Ass-hat_."

**x**

She knew it was a horrible thing to do, but after confiding in Quinn for hours about Santana's current mood, the blonde had convinced her to take matters into her own hands and see if maybe the answers were located somewhere in the apartment.

Santana had gone to work, and Rachel herself had been packing for the trip home whilst talking to Quinn, but now... Now silence had overtaken the apartment, and she felt that this was perhaps the perfect time to see if she could find anything special in here. It probably wasn't going to be that difficult anyway. It didn't seem like Santana was trying to hide anything; her guitar was standing right up against the wall, and in the windowsill next to it was her book of lyrics, and...

Rachel snatched it and ran into the bedroom – closing the door – before she could stop herself. She fell onto the bed, slightly out of breath and with her ears alert to hear footsteps in the hallway outside, or perhaps the jiggling of keys in the lock. It would take her approximately twenty to thirty seconds to return the book to its correct placement and fall onto the couch with a magazine and pretend that she had been there for hours (oh, she almost hoped that Santana would come home earlier than expected; this would be such a wonderful acting-experience!).

Holding her breath, Rachel opened up the notebook and started carefully flipping through it, reading things here and there. Most of them were just stray thoughts, that was evident. But on some pages entire choruses or verses had been formed, and Rachel couldn't deny that she was quite impressed. It was clear that Santana had something to tell; her lyrics were beautiful and filled with soul. But there wasn't much of them yet; not something concrete.

Rachel paused when she came to one of the last pages. Talk about concrete? It seemed like this song was entirely done. There were even a sheet of music folded into the book, as if Santana had gotten her guitar-teacher to help her write it. Rachel read over the notes, trying to get a sense of the music – it was slow, nice. It would sound good with a guitar. She hummed the song aloud, before she bent her head and let her eyes read over the words that Santana had scribbled down.

_One day I didn't have a care  
Except my picture in the mirror and the colour of my hair  
I sang along to records about tomorrow  
Now my hands are worn, my clothes are torn  
A few of my dreams have been met with scorn  
And I don't have too much time left to borrow_

_But still I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt,_  
_Wanna start all over and know what it's worth_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_

Rachel couldn't help but feel a little emotional when she'd read the first part of the song. That was... amazingly beautiful, and it really moved her. She had no idea that Santana had a talent like this; one that she'd kept hidden for so many years now. It must be wonderful for the other girl to finally get some of that out! Rachel just couldn't help but wonder... What made Santana write like this?

This were miles ahead of that silly song she wrote in high school about Sam – _Trouty Mouth_, was it? These lyrics... along with that music... it was something one would be able to listen to on the radio. Rachel was proud of her; she was actually getting places with her music. She was doing it, working hard and getting better! She thought that Santana was brilliant – Rachel just couldn't help but feel a little hurt that that other girl hadn't felt the need to share something like this with her? Obviously these lyrics were important...

And yet they were so sad. Rachel's heart broke a little bit for her room-mate when she bent her head to read the other half of the song.

_Your stubborn independence  
Reminds me of myself  
It doesn't make a lot of sense  
It isn't very good for health  
I know you want to be alone  
But I sure like talking on the phone  
And I've finally left my carry-on bag behind me_

_Yeah I'm going to love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt_  
_We can start all over and know what it's worth_  
_I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_

For some reason Rachel couldn't help but feel sad; had Santana written these lyrics for that Rebecca person she hooked up with that night they went out? They were so pure and honest... Something that usually was so hard to get out of Santana; she wasn't a person who really opened herself up for other people, yet her feelings were so clear when she portrayed them through her lyrics.

Rachel couldn't exactly explain why, but – she had tears in her eyes. Tears because apparently Santana was hurting so much, and she didn't confide in her about it. Tears because this was so beautiful. Tears because – tears because that other girl had stolen Santana's heart, and Rachel wasn't sure if she liked that (not that she had any say in that whatsoever, and why wasn't she okay with it, anyway?).

She practically fell off the bed when she heard the sound of keys in the lock, and even tough she was upset and her eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears, she was absent enough to hurry into the living room; place the book in the windowsill and fall onto the couch with one of Santana's fashion magazines. She held it in front of her, just as Santana entered the living room with two bags, one in each hand.

"He – hello." Rachel said and peeked up from behind the magazine.

Santana threw her keys on the dining table and arched an eyebrow, "Are you reading the magazine upside-down?"

Glancing frantically down at the magazine again, Rachel realised that she had made the rookie mistake and held the magazine the wrong way. She carefully lowered it and offered Santana a shy smile, "I uhm... I was uh – I was reading the answer to a test about uh... About shoes."

"Aha." Santana replied as she placed the bags on the chair and pulled off her jacket. "Look Rach..." she softly begun, and Rachel sat up straighter, immediately feeling a change in Santana's exterior, "I'm... I'm sorry that things have been so weird between us lately. I can't really explain why, but... There's just a lot going on right now for me."

Nodding, Rachel swallowed loudly and pushed herself off the couch the meet her friend near the table. She smiled tentatively at the beautiful Latina, and she couldn't help but let the lyrics run through her mind as she looked at her, and suddenly Santana's weird attitude made much more sense, and she was hurting, she was sad, because of so many things, and she couldn't quite figure it out. All she knew was that... She _loved_ Santana, she loved her so much, and she wanted the best for her, she wanted her to feel better... Yet she wasn't sure how to do it. "It's, it's quite alright, Santana. I know I haven't been myself either. School is just, it's just really hard on me lately."

Santana smiled softly at her as well, "I know." she whispered, and Rachel was certain that that was love in her eyes as well, and she was also suddenly very certain that they were going to be okay. "And I'm sorry that I haven't been more supportive of you and Alexis. She's a sweet girl, I just... I'd seen you with someone much better."

Rachel laughed. Despite the fact that her and Alexis had shared kisses now (great kisses, honestly), she was still very certain that she wasn't in love with the other girl. "Alexis is great. But she's just the first girl I ever dated. It's not going to last, and I know she knows that too."

"That calms me down." Santana replied, and she stared at one of the bags she'd brought home and held it up. "I know we hadn't really discussed this entirely, but we did talk about getting you some nice clothes for the wedding, right? So... I went to find some for me, and I found some for you as well." she paused, "It was a little pricey, but we do have some extra money this month, and I hope you like it, Berrycakes."

Reaching for the bag, Rachel pulled out a beautiful black dress; she just needed to give it one once-over before she knew that it was perfect for her. She smiled warmly at her room-mate, so touched that Santana would think of her this way. "It's perfect." she whispered, "Thank you, Santana."

Shrugging, she replied, "You're fucking welcome."

"Wanna watch a film together tonight?" she tentatively asked then, softly queering the question, hoping that they were alright enough to do this again.

Pulling out something from the bag, Santana laughed, "I'm one step ahead of you, Dwarf, I bought us both ice-cream."

Grabbing the bag from her, Rachel couldn't help but giggle. "You're awesome, Santana. Really. What would I do without you?" she whispered, but she didn't give the other girl time to reply. She simply stepped closer and wrapped her arms around her, tightly, placing her head against her chest and hugging her with everything she had.

She could feel Santana's heart beating against her chest, hotly, quickly, and she felt her smell, her warm skin, and she felt Santana wrap her arms around her, too, and return the hug tightly. She could feel the tears in her eyes again, burning to slip out, and something changed, right then and there. Suddenly, it all made so very much sense to her, and she _understood_ that she'd made some very bad choices lately. She understood why she had been so weird, so weird that she couldn't even explain it to herself. She understood what was going on, and she was concerned, worried, mad that she hadn't figured it out before.

_Oh, _Rachel thought to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut and a few tears slipped out, _I'm in love with you, Santana Lopez. _

What was she going to do?

* * *

_I am so deeply sorry about the long delay for this chapter! It's so silly – the two first parts have been finished for many weeks, but suddenly I had so many papers to write for school that I just didn't have the time to finish the last part. But tonight I got a tweet from a reader, telling me that she really wanted to read an update soon, and I told myself I just had to find the time. So here it is! I hope it was quite satisfactory for you guys. _

_I do realise that a lot of things happened in this chapter, but for me it was important to have Rachel's first kiss with Alexis in the chapter as her realisation of her love for Santana. It just says something to me, that she realises this after she kisses the other girl. It's oddly ironic to me, and I love it! Oh, and next stop? Lima, Ohio! _

_The lyrics are from "Never Been Hurt Before" by Sara Melson. I just love and adore her music deeply. _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee or "Never Been Hurt Before". _


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

The trip home to Lima had been great.

Santana wasn't into all of that crap about feelings and shit, but it had definitely helped that her and Rachel had that damn talk the other night when she got home from work. There wasn't any weird tension or vibes between them, and although Rachel wasn't acting as bubbly as she usually would be, Santana had a good feeling that it was because she had to go home and see everybody again – especially Finnocence. He was Schuester's best man after all, so there'd be no avoiding him.

They'd laughed and watched several episodes of crappy sitcoms on Rachel's laptop on the way home, and overall – it had just been really great. Santana was suddenly reminded how awesome it had been when she first moved in with Rachel; not how sucky it had been lately, because she wanted to strangle her.

But those days were gone, and when they stepped onto the platform at Lima's train station, Santana couldn't help but have mixed feelings about returning home. They had such a good life in New York now, and what would a weekend home do to them? There'd be interferences from everyone they used to know; Finn – Brittany – Puck – heck even Mr. Schuester would probably have something to say about it. She didn't want to ruin what they had. They were good, weren't they? They'd created a great life together in New York, and she did fucking _not_ want that disrupted.

Rachel's parents had agreed to pick them up, and she flew into their waiting arms, squealing "Parentals!" as soon as she saw them. She literally dropped everything she was holding to the ground, just to jump into their arms, and Santana was left moving everything out of the way, so the other passengers could step off the platform.

It was nice though. To see how much they loved her, and how much she was missed. Santana knew that her own parents missed her too, but they had a lot of stuff going on with her younger siblings, and they were just happy that she was here for the weekend.

She carried both her and Rachel's shit to the car, and got into the back-seat. Rachel tore herself away long enough from her fathers to get in as well, and as they buckled up, Hiram turned to smile warmly at Santana.

"Santana Lopez! We've heard so much about you. My baby's companion into the big scary world! How are you?" he grinned and flashed his teeth at her.

Santana saw Rachel smile tentatively at her, and she opened her mouth to reply, "I'm... good. Thank you, Mr. Berry, for asking. I'm really thankful that I've been able to live with Rachel, it's... Saved us both some money, and it's been really rewarding for me."

Rachel gave her an odd stare (and Santana knew why; this was probably the first time in for-fucking-ever that she'd ever been this polite, but she really did feel like letting the Berry men know how much she cared about their only child). "It's been rewarding for me as well." she softly whispered, before down-casting her eyes and staring into her lap.

Leroy – who was driving the car – glanced at Santana through the rear-view mirror, "You and Rachel weren't really the best of friends in high school, so what made you knock on Rachel's door that day?"

Licking her lips, Santana wasn't sure what to say. Telling Rachel's fathers that she did it because she had no other options was not something she wanted to admit. And even though that was the truth, it wasn't how she felt anymore. She was so appreciative that Rachel had taken her in, and even though their living-situation wasn't as perfect as it could be (they still shared the same fucking bed), it was nice, and she wouldn't want to change it if she had the option. "My parents offered me the money they had saved for me to go to college. And my mother said that she'd rather I spend them on following my dream in New York. And I thought... I know Rachel in New York. So I just went there."

"A very wise decision," Hiram answered her, "if I take Rachel's stories into account. It sounds like you guys are very happy living together."

"I couldn't ask for a better friend and room-mate." Santana sincerely replied back.

Leroy answered with something funny, and Santana spent the rest of the trip home laughing and talking to Rachel's fathers while Rachel was being oddly quiet. The Latina kept glancing at her, wondering what was up, but she seemed deep in thought, like she was really contemplating something, so Santana didn't want to question her. Rachel's fathers were easy and nice to talk to, and as they pulled up to the curb in front of the Lopez house, Hiram told her that she shouldn't be a stranger, and that if she ever needed anything, she knew where to find them.

Turning to Rachel with a soft smile, she said, "I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding, okay Rach?"

Rachel offered her a forced smile (and Santana could tell that it totally was forced, because she fucking knew that girl by now), but the former cheerleader ignored it and grabbed her overnight back before stepping out. She waved goodbye to the car and started mentally preparing herself for what was going to happen inside; she knew that her parents were totally fucking cool about everything going on in her life – they'd urged her to do this – but she wasn't really ready for the interrogation that she'd have to sit through when she entered that house.

She knew she had to though. She really sucked at calling or texting home, and they deserved to know that she was doing well and getting places. She knew that her mother would be proud to hear that she had learned to play the guitar, and her father would appreciate to hear about her job and how much she worked to pave the road to her dream.

Slinging the overnight bag over her shoulder, she hurried up the pavement and – stopping for only a second to wonder if it was okay to do so since she technically didn't live there any longer – stepped right in. "Mamá! Padre! I'm home!" she hollered, and suddenly – she just appreciated being there so much; she threw her bag by the door, kicked off her shoes and hurried into the living room, just knowing they'd be sitting there, enjoying an evening cup of coffee.

"Santana!" her mother laughed, standing up and meeting her in a tight hug, "Welcome home, mija!"

Hugging her mother tightly, Santana breathed in the scents around her; her mother, the house, the smell of her father's cigars. Everything felt like home, and it was just wonderful to be there, even though she certainly didn't miss living there, she'd missed this place; the place where she grew up.

"It's so good to see you, Santana." her father replied, and he hugged her too, in his own way, and Santana was surprised to see the hint of tears in his eyes. "We wanted to invite your abuela here to say hi to you, but she didn't want to come."

Santana swallowed loudly; she loved her grandmother, and she'd always had such a close bond to her, spent many evenings playing cards and learning how to cook. But her grandmother couldn't accept her, and _Santana _couldn't accept that. She was never going to hide in that closet, never again. And if her abuela couldn't accept that, then Santana couldn't be in her life. "She's still disgusted by me." she replied lowly, and this reminded her how much she hated Lima and their small-mindedness.

Her mother nudged her arm and offered her a soft smile, "I am sorry, Santana." she replied, "I kept telling her how well you were doing, and that this doesn't change who you are. I thought she would be okay with this by now. But nothing I say can convince her, and since she won't listen to you, I am at a loss."

Her father wrapped an arm around her mother and pulled her close to his body; right in the nook beneath his armpit, just where she belonged, "I am sure that she'll change her mind eventually. She just needs a bit more time."

Santana shrugged her shoulders and pretended that this wasn't hurting her still, like it had done when it first happened. She played it tough, even though her parents could see right through her. "Well that blows." she said, "Is there any dinner left? Rachel packed some lunches for the train, but I ate mine in like the first twenty minutes, so I'm starved." she smiled at her mother, "And then I might have also eaten some of hers. Whoops."

Laughing, her mother had a glint in her eye; she was happy, so, so happy that Santana was home, that was evident, "There is some in the fridge, mija. Go heat it up and come tell us everything about New York and that Rachel person!"

Smiling warmly at her parents, Santana was really happy to see them again; she couldn't hide that fact. "I will." she whispered, and as she turned to enter the familiar kitchen, she was so thankful that she had such amazing parents; parents who supported her, parents who loved her. No matter what she loved, and_ whom_ she loved.

**X**

She hadn't really seen or talked to Santana since she got to the wedding. During the ceremony she'd seated herself next to Mercedes and Tina (she'd also tried desperately not to meet Finn's eyes when he kept trying to look at her), and while they were eating she'd made sure to squeeze herself down between Sam and Sugar. She's small-talked with a new girl from Glee Club named Marley, and it had been nice to hear all about the new members.

Everything was beautiful, just like she'd imagined it would be, and Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury seemed truly happy and in love. She tried really hard to focus and be present, but she couldn't help but dwell on her newest realisation regarding her relationship with Santana. It was just impossible not to think constantly about it. Especially not when Santana was sitting at another table, looking beautiful and laughing and laughing with Brittany and Puck. She'd gotten so many compliments from everyone on her looks, and everytime, she had to mention Santana because she was the one who'd bought the dress.

She couldn't help but stare at the other girl; she was so beautiful. And she was so incredible and sweet, and Rachel had the desire the run across the room and kiss her. What was she going to do about this? It was going to mess everything up, wasn't it? How was she going to move past her love for her room-mate? She was dating another (very nice!) girl, and Santana was just a friend; she was quite certain that the Latina would never feel the same for her, she just wasn't her type.

Rachel felt like she was going to burst. Everything was seriously blowing up inside of her, and it needed to get out. She couldn't just keep it to herself – she needed to _share_. And she knew whom she was going to talk to about this; there was only one person who'd listen to her and advice her, and that was Quinn.

She hadn't called her with these news when she realised them, but instead decided that these were news that needed to be said in a face-to-face conversation. Now she just needed to lure Quinn off to the side, which was rather tricky, because the blonde girl seemed to be having a lot of fun. There were many nooks and sneaky places to have this conversation, so Rachel excused herself to Marley and made her way to the dance floor, where Quinn was dancing with Mike. They seemed to be having a blast, but Rachel snuck up behind them.

"Quinn!" she hissed, "Quinn, I need to talk to you."

Laughing, Quinn kept dancing, "No."

Tugging on her dress, Rachel continued, "Quinn, it's important."

"Not right now!" Quinn hissed at her, just before Mike grabbed her hand and spun her around.

"Quinn, get over here." she angrily replied and tried to grab the other girl's hand to drag her away.

"No!"

"_Now_." she replied, finally tearing Quinn's hand away from Mike's, "Get over here _now_."

Shooting Mike an apologetic smile, Rachel dragged Quinn – with many protests, one might add – away from the dance floor and into the hallway. She found a quiet nook, with a still angry Quinn by the hand, before she pushed the blonde into the corner and stared seriously at her.

Quinn's eyes were shooting lightnings, "Rachel, what the hell!?" she hissed.

Placing a hand on either side of Quinn's head – thus affectively boxing Quinn in with nowhere to run – Rachel stared seriously at her. "I needed to talk to you." she sternly breathed out.

Still looking angrily at her, Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Yes, I _got_ that." she replied, "But did it need to be right now?"

"I am about to burst." Rachel replied, locking her eyes to Quinn's, and feeling the butterflies in her stomach, and the way that her heart was beating rapidly against her chest.

Quinn licked her lips. "Alright," she replied, her eyes softening a bit, and her shoulders relaxing, "then tell me. _What's_ up, Rach?"

Rachel swallowed loudly, just needing a second to gather herself. She'd gone over inside of her head how she was going to say this to Quinn, but she'd come to realise that there was no easy way. She'd just have to tell her and then let Quinn react (and hopefully her blonde friend would have some very nice idea to how she was going to get through this). "I have come to realise," she whispered, "that I am _in love_ with Santana."

Quinn just stared at her. For what seemed like thirty seconds, the blonde just stared at her. Her eyes were still seriously watching her, there was not a smile on her face, and it seemed like she had no reaction to this revelation whatsoever. She just glared at her, and Rachel was getting impatient.

"Quinn," she seriously whispered, "say something, please."

Quinn sighed. "Did you seriously just _drag_ me dramatically away from my dance with Mike to tell me this?"

Rachel blinked, not sure where the other girl was going with that. Quinn's reaction was nothing like the dramatic outburst that Rachel had pictured in her head when she'd rehearsed this conversation, which – really – made it sort of difficult to act accordingly.

"You don't do _anything_ un-dramatically, do you?" Quinn continued to ask her, "That was a perfectly good dance!"

Not sure what was really happening, or if Quinn hadn't understood her at all, Rachel continued, "Quinn," she said, empathizing her name at this point, "did you understand what I just said?" she question. Quinn must have misunderstood something; why else would she be so calm about this? It was the only explanation, Rachel was sure of it!

"_Yes_!" Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, "And are you kidding me with this? I could have told you _months_ ago."

Pausing, Rachel wasn't sure if _she'd_ heard correctly now. What was Quinn getting at? What did she mean that she could have told her months ago? Rachel had to get to the bottom of this! "What?"

Rolling her eyes again, Quinn continued, "Yes. For God's sake, Rachel. It's been pretty damn clear this entire time that you're in love with Santana. I had my suspicions when I talked to you on the phone, but after I came to visit you guys, there was not a doubt in my mind. You're in love with Santana, and the only reason you're dating Alexis is because you want to make her jealous. Did you seriously just realise this? I thought you knew and was doing it on purpose!"

Gasping loudly, Rachel was appalled. How could Quinn even suggest such a thing!? She wasn't the sort of person who'd do something like that, who'd just use another person that way. "No!" she hissed, and she felt as if her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets, "Quinn! How could you even say that!? I am not using Alexis to make anyone jealous. That is simply outrageous to suggest! Now I am actually trying to figure out what to do with her, because clearly she likes me a lot more than I like her."

Shaking her head, Quinn sighed yet again. "Rach..." she trailed off, "I really don't know what to say to this. We could have had this conversation at any time, but... this is a wedding. I don't want your drama right now. I just wanna dance." she glanced at Rachel's arms and added, "Could you please remove your hands now and come dance with me?"

Dropping her hands to hang limply by her sides, Rachel stepped backwards and made some room between them. "But..." she bit her lip; she was so confused, she had no idea what to do or say, or where to go. She just – she had hoped that Quinn would have said or done something very far from this, and now, now her hopes were just crushed, and she had no solution to her problem whatsoever! "But Quinn, I-"

"Just relax." Quinn breathed and raised a hand to brush her across the cheek. "Calm down, Rachel. I think you need to have fun tonight, and we'll figure this out eventually, okay? I think the solution is a lot easier than you imagine it to be. Just – just come and dance with me, and have fun with Santana! She loves you, you know, that's easy to see."

"She loves me?" Rachel whispered.

"_God yes_." Quinn softly replied, and her eyes were soft and full of love. "It'll be okay, alright Rach? I promise you that it will be."

Rachel still felt uneasy. She felt like she had to do something, and she had to do it now. "But. But what can I do to make everything better?"

Quinn couldn't hide her soft smile, "Just be there for Santana. That's all she wants, and it's _all _she needs." she replied, just as she grabbed Rachel's hand and squeezed it tightly, "Okay?"

"Okay." Rachel replied, but she couldn't quite focus as Quinn dragged her back inside; all she could think about was Santana and what she could do to help her. There had to be something, right?

**X**

She was sort of very tired, because it had been a long day yesterday. It had been an incredible party where everyone celebrated the love between the married couple, and after she'd danced with not only Quinn but practically everyone from Glee, Finn had requested to talk to her, and she figured that she at least owed him – and their past relationship – that much.

They'd conquered an empty table and they had talked for almost an hour. He wanted to know how she was, and she found that she was actually quite excited to hear about his life as well. He was doing great, and he seemed happy, pleased with what he was doing with his life. And it wasn't actually as hard as she'd feared it would be. He was nice, he congratulated her on her relationship with Alexis, and he wasn't freaking out about it; he took it really well. And she found that she wasn't even jealous when he talked about this girl he'd been seeing.

They had parted with a hug, and Rachel felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She'd returned to dance with Kurt and Blaine (who still looked as happy together as ever); and after they all sent the happy couple off on their honeymoon, the party had continued, until Rachel was too tired to stand on her feet.

She'd spent the morning eating brunch with her fathers, and now – now she was going to do something that she wasn't sure she _should_ do. Perhaps it wasn't her place to meddle in something like this, but she felt, deep inside of her heart, that she at least ought to try. There was no harm in trying, was there? She figured not.

And that was why she was now knocking on the door to Santana's grandmother's apartment. It was with a speeding heart and sweating palms, but she just knew that she had to go for it.

The door was pulled open, and she was met with a good-looking older woman, who stared her down in a way that reminded her so much of Santana. "Can I help you?" she asked sternly, and she had a heavy accent, but it sounded just like Rachel had imagined it would.

"Hello." Rachel formally said, trying to calm herself down and act in the polite and gentle way that she knew she could, "My name is Rachel Berry and I have come to talk to you about your granddaughter Santana."

Mrs. Lopez seemed to tense at the mentioning of Santana's name. "I have no granddaughter named Santana." she replied.

Rachel's breath hitched in her throat, "I know you do, and – can I please come in?"

She pulled the door open and allowed Rachel to step inside, before she closed the door behind her. "The living room is to the left." she firmly said.

Making her way into the living room, Rachel tentatively took a seat on the couch, and watched Santana's grandmother take a seat in a chair. She was feeling less and less great about this idea, but really – this was the only thing that had entered her mind last night when Quinn told her to be there for Santana. She knew that it bothered the other girl very much that her grandmother had decided to cut her off because she was gay, and Rachel wanted to fix that. She wanted to show the woman that it wasn't a bad thing, and that Santana was still the amazing person she'd always been.

Santana had always been close to this older woman; it wasn't fair that they weren't close like that anymore. Santana deserved everything she wanted, because deep down – Rachel knew that the Latina was a good person. She just had this façade that made it hard for other people to see it sometimes. Not many people were able to get through to her, but Rachel... She'd done it; she knew who Santana was now, and she loved the person she'd come to discover.

"Mrs. Lopez," Rachel begun again, hoping to somehow ease her way into the other woman's heart with her charming and endearing personality, "I know that you consider yourself to not have a granddaughter anymore, and that is why I'm here. See, I – I know Santana. I am her room-mate in New York – I study at the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts – and Santana she – she works at this café while she tries to figure out what to do with her life. And she's so happy and pleased with how everything is going, she loves her life. Except... Except for the fact that you aren't in it anymore."

Mrs. Lopez didn't seem to react very much to what she was saying. She simply kept staring out of the window, ignoring everything Rachel was trying to get across to her.

Adamant, Rachel wasn't ready to give up yet. "Look, I know that you believe that some things are better left unsaid. Santana didn't do this to harm you – it's who she is. But it's not everything she is, that is just a part of her! She's still an amazing person, so kind, and warm, and although slightly sarcastic and devious, she really knows how to care for the people she loves. Santana has even changed for the better since coming to New York with me. She's more grown-up, more responsible... It's a real shame you haven't been able to experience her for who she is now."

"Santana made me uncomfortable by telling me the truth." Mrs. Lopez said then, arching an eyebrow and finally turning to meet Rachel's eyes, "It's not like I didn't know that she likes girls, it has always been written all over her face. But some things... you don't say aloud." she finished as she shook her head.

"But what it is that you're afraid of, Mrs. Lopez?" Rachel softly questioned, folding her hands above her knee and trying to slowly warm the other woman up, "If I may – I was raised by two gay men in this town, and I turned out alright. There were some rough times when people would talk about us, mistreat us – but I was happy, and most importantly; so were they." she paused, thinking back with happiness at how amazing her childhood had been. She knew it was hard for other people to understand somehow, but she always felt that she was the luckiest girl in the whole world. She never felt that she'd been missing out on _anything_. "And Santana? She's in New York now. A place that's much more accepting of homosexuals. She's going to get places, make everyone proud. When she accepts her first Grammy... It'd mean the world to her to have you standing there, watching her."

Mrs. Lopez squeaked, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Rachel added, "You mean the world to her, don't ever doubt it. It's not too late to change what happened. She'd come running back with open arms if you reached out to her."

"I miss Santana." the older woman said then, meeting Rachel's eyes, with tears in the corners of her own, "I always knew she was going to make me proud. I just hoped that she would have married a guy. Any guy would have done. Just not this."

"But would you rather have Santana marry a guy... then her being happy?" Rachel softly questioned. She didn't want to push her luck, but she also knew that she had to try to make Mrs. Lopez understand.

She blinked away a tear. "No. I want Santana to be happy. But I also want her to have children."

Rachel couldn't hide her smile. "She can still have children, Mrs. Lopez. You don't need to worry about that. There are ways now, and... And any woman would be lucky to have your granddaughter be her wife. She's an incredible person."

Pausing, Mrs. Lopez looked at Rachel with soulful eyes. She was quiet for a bit; just watching her, clearly thinking about something. "Do _you_ want to be her wife?" she then questioned.

Caught a bit off guard, Rachel wasn't able to hide her true reaction. She outright gasped, dramatically, like people did in the movies. She'd only thought that Quinn would be able to see right through her, but that some stranger would as well? She hadn't counted on that! "I can't hide the fact that... I care about Santana very much, but-"

"Better you than that dubious blonde cheerleader she was in love with in high school." Mrs. Lopez simply replied, before she uncrossed her legs, only to recross them again.

"Santana and I are not a couple." Rachel quickly replied, deciding to ignore the fact that the older woman seemed to dislike Brittany (that was a fight she did not want to pick). "I don't think... Santana likes me that way."

Mrs. Lopez shook her head; a small smile was playing across her lips and she slowly reached a hand out to touch Rachel's. "Now. I know my granddaughter. And she's no fool." she paused, "She wouldn't be stupid enough to let someone as smart... and beautiful... like you go." she swallowed loudly, "You even managed to give me something to think about."

"I did?" Rachel breathed out. She almost couldn't speak; it was like the air and the words were caught in her throat and she had to force them out. Her heart was beating rapidly; she could feel it all the way down to her stomach. But she was proud, really proud, if she'd actually managed to convince Mrs. Lopez to give Santana a chance to show that nothing had changed and that she was still the same.

Mrs. Lopez her a sneaky smile on her face, "Let me tell you this..." she begun, "I'll give Santana a call soon, if you promise me – to do everything you can to get her."

Rachel wasn't sure if that was a promise she could keep. She wasn't sure if she was willing to risk her friendship with Santana just to tell her how she felt. There were so many things that could go wrong, and since Santana wasn't going to feel the same... Everything would be ruined. But she knew that she had to tell the older woman that they had a deal. "I'll do that." she whispered.

Question was just – would she?

* * *

_I apologise for the delay with this chapter – I hope it was all worth the wait! I decided to cut their trip home into two chapters, because otherwise the update would have taken even longer. So be ready for some more Lima-time in the next chapter! It'll probably be a while before I manage to get time to update again; around three weeks or so. Our semester report is due in two weeks so my group and I are really busy right now. Good thing is I'm writing about Glee (with Santana as our main character) and how the show represents "outcasts". It's very exciting actually, but there's so much to do still! _

_I realise that in real life, no one changes their mind THAT quickly about disliking homosexuals. And Santana's grandmother was very adamant on the show – but I do think that someone who loves another person as much as Mrs. Lopez loves Santana – can be convinced. At least that's what I like to believe. It's not like she outright said that she's cool with it now (because that would be far-fetched), but I like to keep the hope that she'd turn around eventually. I will follow up on this part of the story, of course, but it's not going to play a major part. _

_I hope you're all enjoying December so far! I love it, because in Denmark, Christmas starts when December starts, and there's a count-down during the first 24 days! It even snowed here, and there's a fine layer of white covering everything, and it's cold and freezing, but I love it! And to everyone who don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you're enjoying December anyway :-)_

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten **

"Oh my... fucking... God..." Quinn breathed.

Santana glanced backwards, trying to hold back the smirk that dared made its way onto her face. As she realised that Quinn was seriously falling behind her, she slowed down and started running at the same spot, just to keep her heartbeat up, while Quinn caught up with her.

The blonde girl bent over, resting her hands on her knees while she was trying to get control of her erratic breathing. "I am so out of... shape." she concluded while she glanced up at Santana. She glistened with a layer of sweat, and Santana's eyes automatically followed a single drop as it ran from her forehead and down her nose.

"Ya' think?" she sarcastically questioned as she arched an eyebrow. It wasn't like she was going to toot her own horn and claim that she exercised a lot, but... She was definitely in better shape than Quinn, they were concluding that right now with this jog, weren't they? This was the route they'd usually run together a few times a week in high school. What had Quinn been doing at Yale? Sitting on her butt all damn day long?

Quinn rolled her eyes at her. "Damn!" she shook her head, "Too much school, too little exercise. This is not good."

Santana couldn't help but laugh. "You wanna walk or something?" she questioned. She'd said it mostly for fun, just to annoy Quinn and get on her nerves a little bit more, and she was actually surprised when she found the blonde girl nodding. "Seriously?"

"I need to exercise more before I do this with you." she breathed out, as she finally managed to stand up straight, although with shaking legs. "You should do this with Rachel instead, she probably needs this to keep her schedule."

Santana rolled her eyes. "You kiddin' me, Blondie? This is how far you wanna run?"

Quinn bit her bottom lip, "Let's just walk." she concluded, just as she grabbed Santana's arm and dragged her with her down the pathway in the park. "I'm sorry, I really wanted to run like the good old days, S."

"Don't be sorry," Santana replied, but really, she was laughing her ass off on the inside, "I mean, don't even sweat it... Although," she couldn't keep in her laugh, "...that's too late apparently." she finished, glancing at how much Quinn was sweating from just that short run.

"Shut the fuck up, S." Quinn replied.

"Ah, you know how I do. What can I say? I'm just hilarious like that." Santana replied. She smirked down at Quinn, happiness bubbling within her. She couldn't quite explain why, but she had been feeling rather happy all day. Maybe it was because she had seen all her friends last night, or maybe it was just because she knew she was going out with Brittany later to sort of catch up and clear the air... It felt like she was taking care of a lot of things, while she was home this weekend. It'd be good to be back though. She had barely seen Rachel, and while that was the natural thing to do now that they were home for awhile, she sort of missed her room-mate. A lot.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Haha." she replied, and they walked in silence for few seconds, arm in arm, Quinn breathing next to her in such a comforting way. "Sooooo..." she trailed off then, glancing at Santana through her long lashes. "What's up with you and Rachel?" she questioned, and there was a certain glint in her eye that Santana couldn't quite read.

The Latina shrugged her shoulders, confused by the question. Was something supposed to be up with her and Rachel? She hadn't caught onto that. Maybe it was just because they were home and weren't tied by the hip that Quinn was worried. She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing. Nothing's the fuck up. Why you asking?"

"Oh for no reason at all." Quinn lightly replied, and then continued to stare right ahead like she hadn't fucked with Santana's head by asking that question.

Santana groaned inwardly. What the fuck was up with Quinn? That was not a fucking acceptable answer! "You seriously think I'ma accept that shit answer from you? Tell me! Why the fuck do you ask?" she questioned.

Quinn glanced up at her again, softly. There was a light smile playing on her lips, and her cheeks were tainted pink from the cold morning air. Laughter was bubbling in her eyes. "It's just because... You're like... you're like Rizzoli and Isles."

"Rizzoli and who?" Santana asked, confusion overtaking her body entirely. What was Quinn getting at now? She thought she'd gotten better at understanding weird sentences (she frigging lived with Rachel, for fuck's sake), but apparently not.

The blonde girl sighed like she was being seriously fucking stupid, which made no sense at all, because Quinn was actually the one who was being really frigging idiotic right now. Who was talking about messed up shit? Her! "Rizzoli and Isles! You ever saw the show? It's a show about these two women who-"

Santana cut her off, "You really fucking comparing the dwarf and I to some TV-show?"

Quinn just looked at her like that was a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Really Q, really?" Santana continued to poke at her.

Sighing, Quinn started to explain it to her, like she was some kid who didn't understand a single thing, "Oh yeah! _Rizzoli & Isles_ is a show about a female cop – that's Rizzoli – and her partner, a medical examiner named Maura Isles." she paused, "Rizzoli is sarcastic, protective, afraid to show her feelings – pretty much like you, while Isles is confident, smart, a little bossy and... sort of eccentric. Just like Rachel."

"So we're... like them?" Santana asked, looking at Quinn with confusion written all over her face; no doubt about that. What the fuck was Quinn getting at? And why was she talking about this right now? It made no frigging sense! Sometimes, Santana swore, she really deserved a medal for handling all the women in her life. Like seriously, she was a frigging hero for doing this.

Quinn nodded, apparently very proud of herself for making that connection. "Yes." she smiled, "You're exactly like them. There's a lot of... stuff going on."

Stopping, Santana cut Quinn off as well and stepped around her to glare at her. "Stuff?" she asked, putting both hands on her sides and giving the blonde girl her toughest look.

Again, Quinn seemed entirely too pleased with herself. "Oh yes. Stuff happens on that show."

"What stuff?" Santana demanded to know, and she hated that Quinn was – apparently – not really caring about that at all. She just blatantly ignored her requests again and again! It really pissed the Latina off.

Shrugging, Quinn gave her a teasing smile, and it was clear to everybody involved (read: Santana) that she was enjoying this way too much. "Just watch the show, S." she replied, before she pushed the Latina to the side and started jogging – slowly – away from her.

Groaning to herself, Santana spun around on her heel and followed her friend; it took her only two seconds to catch up with her, and she was determined to keep this up all day. She was going to know what Quinn was referring to, she simply just had to know! "No Q!" she glared at her, as they continued down the almost deserted path, "Tell me."

Quinn giggled a little, already a bit out of breath, "Just stream the show online when you get back to New York. And then call me." she told her.

"But why?" Santana asked her. She could feel curiosity burning in her stomach, and she so wanted to know this already – she couldn't wait until she and Rachel got home! And besides, if she waited, how was she going to kill Quinn for mocking her with this? Quinn would be at fucking Yale by then!

The blonde girl shook her head at her, "It doesn't make sense to talk about it like this. Just do what I say and watch the show, alright?"

Santana could see something in her eyes; something pleading her to do this, to just have her do it with no questions asked. And although she wanted desperately to know what the fuck Quinn wanted out of this, she just – something just told her to do what the blonde girl said. Something just told her to leave it for now, get back to New York to watch the damn thing, and then call Quinn. Maybe there was a reason for all of this – she'd just have to be patient (even if that was frigging not something she liked to be). "Alright." she whispered then.

Quinn smiled at her, appearing to be very happy that this was the end of their discussion.

Santana wasn't going to let her win like that though. She wasn't going to let Quinn have the last word in this conversation. "Race ya' back to your house." she spat, before she sprinted off quickly, hearing the blonde yell out behind her.

**X**

"Thank you so much for inviting me, Mr. and Mr. Berry." Quinn smiled brightly as she poured herself a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and glanced to the side to look Rachel in the eye.

"You're always so very welcome, dearest Quinn." Leroy replied to her, as he poured himself and his husband some coffee. The table in their kitchen was filled with everything anyone could ever wish for at brunch, and Rachel knew that her fathers had been preparing for this for several hours.

Rachel snatched herself a slice of freshly baked bread and couldn't keep in her giggles. "Daddies!"

Hiram added, "Even if Rachel isn't here, just step by, Quinn. We will always be happy to see you!"

Quinn reached for the scrambled eggs, and there was a faint flush on her cheeks. "I'll be sure to remember that, Mr. Berry."

"Stop with the formalities!" Hiram continued and accepted the bowl of scrambled eggs from her, "I'm Hiram, and my husband right there, his name is Leroy."

"Alright, Hiram." Quinn whispered, just as she reached for the bacon. "I love bacon. Did Rachel tell you that?"

Leroy sipped his coffee shortly, taking his time to taste the freshly ground coffee beans. "Our dear little ray of sunshine might have mentioned it. And what was I to do? When our little pumpkin invites her best friend for brunch, we need to make everything perfect. Thank you dear-" he accepted the eggs from his husband, "-and really, we are pleased to have you, Quinn. We know you and Rachel don't see each other that often because you live so far from each other, but we do know that you guys talk a lot of the phone, am I right?"

"Daddy, please!" Rachel said as she forked a piece of pineapple and took a bite of it. "You don't need to interrogate Quinn. You're going to scare her off!"

Leroy dismissed her, "I think it's going to take a lot more than that to scare Quinn off, Rachel." he said to her, and then turned to Quinn again, "So tell me, Quinn, how are your studies going?"

Rachel sighed heavily as Quinn – politely – started to tell her fathers about her classes at Yale. Rachel knew all about this, of course, so she was only listening partly as she ate her brunch. Her fathers even made pancakes without milk and egg, so she was really looking forward to tasting those. She really missed these huge brunches now that she was living in New York; her and Santana didn't have enough money to make such a huge breakfast table, but when she lived at home, they used to have them every Sunday. Finn would often join her, or sometimes Kurt and Blaine. Even Quinn a few times, when they were seniors in high school.

She was looking forward to going back to New York tonight though. She's agreed with Santana that her fathers would drive them to the train station – they were going to catch the last train out of there – and tonight she'd be back in her own bed. She was a bit afraid of seeing Santana though; they'd barely talked since they got home, and what if her grandmother had already talked to her, and Santana was angry with her for meddling in something she shouldn't meddle in?

The tiny brunette bit her lip and took a long sip of her juice. Hopefully she hadn't talked to her yet. Of course that was the reaction that Rachel desired (why else would have have gone to visit her?), but perhaps she wasn't quite ready for it yet. Especially not if Santana was going to be angry with her.

"...so I really need to start exercising a bit more. Santana totally beat me when we raced."

Rachel snapped out of it when she heard Santana's name (she hated to admit it, but yes, she was hit that hard), "Huh? Santana?" she paused, not caring if she had interrupted the conversation that her fathers had been having with Quinn, "You saw Santana?"

"Just this morning." Quinn replied, a faint smile appearing at her lips, "We went out for a run, but she ran circles around me. I really do need to schedule in some time to keep myself in shape."

"Santana does run a few times a week." Rachel replied, and before she knew what had happened, she got lost in the image in her head; an image of a certain fit Latina room-mate of hers, dressed for a run in tights, top and a high pony-tail. It was even worse when she _returned_ from a run though – all out of breath and with sweat glistening on her smooth, sun-kissed skin... Rachel had to tell herself to snap out of it. It was not the time to start drooling right now, there would be no excuse for it; of course she could always blame it on her father's deliciously smelling pancakes, but... She quickly snatched one from the stack in front of her. "Mhhm, so good." she smiled.

Quinn nodded, "Yes..." she said, and there was something odd in her eyes, like she knew what images Rachel had inside of her head at the moment. "I would say. She uh – she seems very in shape, still. Just like in high school."

Hiram smiled brightly, "It's important to keep in shape."

Chewing away on a piece of bacon, Quinn nodded, "You know Rach, I told her that you guys are like Rizzoli and Isles. Just FYI."

"Rizzoli and who?" Rachel questioned.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "_Nothing_."

This confused Rachel a lot, because where had that just come from? And what was Quinn getting at? This was not a subject she was comfortable discussing right now, because she had an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that this Rizzoli and this Isles were two females who might be in love. Quinn knew all about her feelings for Santana, so of course the blonde would meddle by saying something like that to the other girl. It was probably two females in love. Or perhaps a female in love with another female. Rachel was sure of it. But she had to google it first though, just to make sure. She couldn't be certain, not before asking google.

Leroy had an interesting glint in his eye and he turned to smile funnily at Quinn, "Rizzoli and Isles? Really?" he asked as he cocked an eyebrow. "That's... something."

"That really is something." Hiram added as he nodded his head up and down, most certainly agreeing with his husband and their guest.

"_I'll _say." Quinn just added, before she grabbed another piece of bacon and started munching away on it.

"I don't really understand what you're talking about, and if you're not going to inform me-" Rachel begun as she glared angrily at her fathers and Quinn, "-which I suspect you won't, because you're all three acting like there's some big giant secret that I don't know – then I would like to ask you to please stop discussing these Rizzoli and Isles people while I'm nearby."

Hiram just laughed at her. "Sure, Rachel Darling, we will stop discussing them. But interesting view on things, Quinn. I did not see that one coming."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and happily reached for the bowl of mixed fruit. "That's just how I do."

"So baby-girl," Hiram continued, trying to talk above Leroy's chuckling, "how are you and this Alexis person doing so far? Are you still dating her?"

Rachel wasn't quite happy to discuss this subject, but it was still better than the prior subject (she really hated when people around her talked about something she had no idea about). "We're doing quite alright, Daddy, thank you. Just having some fun with her, nothing too serious."

Leroy gave a shocked-expression, "But why? Your first girlfriend, Pumpkin! It's gotta be serious."

"But it's really not, Dad." Rachel replied, as she tried to ignore the fact that their eyes with burning holes in her skin as she refused to look at them. She knew what they were thinking; when she first told them about Alexis, she had been so excited to realise this new part of herself, to figure out that she was gay, and now she was downplaying everything? It had to be confusing for them, because it was only a few weeks ago that she told them they'd love Alexis.

"You know you can talk to us, don't you, Sweetie?" Leroy asked her then, and even though there was real concern in his voice, there was also playfulness and laughter.

Rachel glanced up at her fathers and couldn't help but laugh with them. They were being so silly and like their usual selves, and she really missed this; of course New York had NYADA, her dream and it definitely had Santana... but it didn't have her fathers. And she spent every day missing them like crazy. "Can we please just eat our brunch now?" she laughed.

Hiram placed a gentle hand on his husband's arm and said, "That we can do!" he reached for the coffee pot and continued, "Now Quinn, do you have a beau at Yale?"

**x**

_The Lima Bean_ was quite vacant for an early afternoon like this, but it was perfect for what Santana had in mind when she'd agreed to meet Brittany here. She hadn't been too keen on the idea (_Breadstix_ always was her favourite place in Lima), but the blonde girl had insisted, and now it seemed like a quite good idea.

It was nice to see Brittany in all her glory. They'd talked a lot at the wedding, but they hadn't discussed what they really needed to discuss; they'd just been their old selves, best friends hanging out together and having fun. But there were far more important things on her agenda today, and she just hoped that Brittany was up for it.

They ordered their drinks and found a table in the back – just to get some sort of privacy for lurking eyes and long ears. Brittany seemed happy this day. She was already sipping her hot cocoa (even at this age, Brittany couldn't drink coffee. She didn't like the taste, and her parents didn't want her to have too much caffeine because that'd just make their already energetic child even more hyper). But she looked beautiful, just like she had done the other evening as well. She was like her old self, just a bit more grown-up some way.

Her long hair were in two braids for the occasion, and she was wearing hardly any make-up and a mismatch of clothes that only someone like her would be able to carry without looking ridiculous. Santana was noticing all the things she used to love about Brittany, all the things that made her fall in love with the other woman all those years ago. She was pleased to realise though, that... That right now, none of her old feelings were there. She was just very happy to see the other girl, but she didn't have the desire to kiss her and be close to her.

Perhaps she really had grown up, too, and perhaps New York really had done her good.

"So Britt-Britt," she begun as she tasted her large coffee, feeling the caffeine do her body good just from the first sip, "is everything okay with you and Artie?"

"Artie and I are just fine." Brittany replied, smiling warmly at her, her blue eyes glistening with happiness, "I know you said that you would love me forever, and I said that I would also love you forever, but I still love you, Sannie, even if I love Artie. I just love you differently than I did then. And I'd still enjoy your lady-kisses, but Artie said that I can't."

Santana couldn't help but loathe Artie a little bit, because she was sure that – while he was taking great care of Brittany and treating her just the way that someone like her should be treated – he'd spent a huge amount of time getting into her head that she wasn't allowed to do anything with Santana now that she was home for the weekend. It was okay though, Santana didn't want to mess up their relationship. She could tell that he was good for her; if she couldn't have Brittany, Artie sure as hell deserved her.

She smiled warmly at her old girlfriend, her first love, the woman she thought she'd spend forever with. "It's alright, B, Artie is right. The only person you should be giving kisses to – is him." she took another sip of her coffee and leaned back in her seat, "But is he treating you well?"

Brittany nodded her head. It seemed like she was almost half-way done with her cocoa, "Yup! So well, S! His family is really nice, and they take me places – like the zoo, or the pond in the park, and they think it's okay when I sit on Artie's lap and he drives me around. We really have fun."

"I'm glad." Santana replied in a whisper, and she could feel in the pit of her stomach that... she really was. She was honestly very happy for them. They deserved this.

The blonde girl smiled at her again, and she was quiet then, for a long time, which didn't seem like her. It appeared that she was thinking about something. Santana knew all of her faces, and she really seemed to be thinking very much about something right now, wondering, pondering. It was clear to her, and the Latina could feel her curiosity burning in the pit of her stomach.

"San..." Brittany whispered then, and her voice was lower than usually, and Santana had to lean forward to hear her better, "Can I ask you about something?"

She nodded, "Sure thing, B, you can ask me about anything, you know that."

Brittany bit her lip, "Are you and Rachel girlfriends now?"

Santana felt her heart skip a beat. "Me and Rachel?" she asked, and she could feel herself growing instantly confused, "No? Why do you ask, B?" she added, and she was really curious to know why Brittany would think that beyond anything. Sometimes Brittany got crazy ideas inside that head of hers, but this... this was something else.

"Yes, because I don't know, it seems like you are." Brittany whispered, before she took another long sip of her cocoa, refusing to meet Santana's eyes.

The Latina licked her lips, wondering what to reply to her. She wasn't sure if she and Rachel had acted any differently than usual. Of course there was a big change from when they were in high school, but actually thinking they were a couple? This surprised her. What surprised her even more though... was the fact that she didn't dislike the idea entirely. She had, you know, been having certain dreams about her room-mate sometimes, and Rachel wasn't bad-looking (actually, she was pretty fucking stunning). However, Rachel was dating Alexis, and they were _just_ friends. Just fucking best friends who lived together to get by. "But why?" she pried on.

Brittany shrugged her shoulders. "It's just when... sometimes when Rachel's not looking at you, you look at her. I can see that in your eyes. You used to look at me that way." she explained, and Santana barely had time to open her mouth to object, before she hurried on, "And then, then when you're not looking, Rachel looks at you, and I saw that. It's the way she used to look at Finn in the choir room."

Santana couldn't explain why, but she got an odd sense of fluttering in the pit of her stomach, and her heart sort of started beating a little bit faster. What the fuck was happening to her? What was that? Was that – was that happiness? Perhaps even _love_? She felt her throat tighten. "She does?"

"Mhm-hmm." Brittany hummed, "All the time at the wedding, S. I think that she loves you."

"But Rachel's dating another girl." Santana managed to squeeze out of herself. She had no idea why she was stating facts, trying to deny something, when her body – her heart – was telling her that this was exactly what she had wanted... without even knowing it. Was she going the fuck crazy right now? Her? And Rachel? Her and Rachel – really? Why wasn't she denying feeling something for the other girl, thinking these thoughts? _Because, Santana, _she told herself, _you know that Brittany is right. You like Rachel. And you have since you stared dreaming things about her_.

This explained so much to her. It really did. Why, for instance, she loathed Alexis with every fiber of her being. And why she kept making nasty vegan food for Rachel to eat. And why everything was just fucking much better when the midget was with her and not at NYADA or out with the red-headed devil. What the fuck? When had this shit happened to her? Santana could feel something in her stomach again, but this time it felt a lot more like nausea.

"And so what, S?" Brittany questioned, shrugging her shoulders and smiling brightly, "You're better with Rachel, you seem happier somehow. She told me that you're even starting to play more music."

Santana nodded, "I am. I'm learning how to play the guitar. I might be able to play a few songs at work soon."

"See?" Brittany whispered, "You are better with her. You take yourself a lot more cereal."

The Latina bit her lip, careful not to let Brittany show that she'd messed up her words again. This was what she missed most about Brittany; her adorableness, and the way she could mess up the most simplest of words. It even made the nausea go away. "That's right, B. I do take myself a lot more cereal."

The blonde girl nodded again. "Yes. And Rachel is happy with you. I can see that."

Rachel had been a lot more happy these months they'd been in New York. Santana had been able to see her development, day for day. How she'd become more independent, more sure of herself. Even her dancing had improved, so had her singing (like that was even possible). She'd really grown up, and Santana herself... she sometimes felt like she was getting the fuck nowhere. "She's really coming out of her insecurities." she told Brittany, and she couldn't help but feel fucking proud for some reason, "Now I just – I just need to fucking get somewhere as well."

"You will, S." Brittany smiled, and she slowly reached a hand across the table to place it upon Santana's, gently. And there was promises in her eyes, promises of a better future. "You should try to get her, Sannie. I know you'd both be happy together. Like Ross and Rachel. Except you'd be Santana and Rachel. But that's better, I think."

Santana was intrigued by this. She couldn't stop herself from feeling like... like maybe Brittany was right. Maybe she really did need to get her head out of her ass and come to terms with the fact that.. That Rachel might be the person she'd been waiting for, the reason for her to get her fucking act together and grow the frigging up. "You think so?"

Brittany's eyes didn't leave hers when she replied, "I know so."

_When I get back to New York_, Santana promised herself,_ things are going to be different._

* * *

_I'm so deeply sorry about the long delay for this chapter! I hope you can all forgive me for the wait – and also for the shitty way I wrote this! It's easy to see that I'm rusty and out of shape with this fiction, but hopefully next chapter will flow a little bit better. I hope it won't be this long again, but now I have exams to prepare for and my mom needs help packing down her house, so.. I'm going to be busy. But I will definitely try to write. _

_I trust everyone who celebrates it had a wonderful Christmas? I know I did! We had plenty of snow here in Denmark and I was home for the holidays. It was truly lovely!_

_Rizzoli & Isles is my current obsession. The show and the books. I think it's safe to say that I have more than a little crush on Angie Harmon. That woman is just so stunning!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee, Friends, or Rizzoli & Isles. _


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

It was with a heavy heart, that Rachel was meeting Alexis that day. She had been preparing herself for this conversation for a few days now, and although she knew that she had to do it, she wasn't happy that it needed to be done. She cared so much about Alexis, and she didn't want to lose her. But she also knew that because she cared so much about Alexis – she had to do this. It sounded like a lousy excuse, but it was the honest truth. She cared about the other girl, and she didn't want to string her along, pretend that there was as future for the two of them, when her heart belonged to another.

She had no idea if her and Santana would ever be anything more than friends, if she'd ever have the guts to tell her how she felt, but she knew that no matter what, she couldn't be with Alexis. If she couldn't have Santana, she ought to be single and by herself so she could get over this easier. She needed to move on, if she couldn't be with her.

Rachel was dreading this conversation though. She didn't want to hut Alexis; the girl who'd opened her eyes and showed her a new way of living her life. Perhaps she'd never really considered this if Alexis hadn't been so persuasive, if she hadn't been persistent. It was a good thing that she'd met Alexis... it really was.

"Hi babe!" Alexis warmly greeted her, when Rachel took a seat in front of her in the café they'd agreed to meet at. They hadn't seen each other since a couple of days before Rachel left for Lima, and Alexis seemed pleased to see her. Her entire face lit up, and her green eyes were shimmering with happiness. "I got us both a coffee." she added and nodded her head towards the two cups on the table.

Sitting down in front of her, Rachel offered her a nervous smile. "Hi Alexis." she whispered and licked her lips, "How have you been while I was home?"

Alexis took a sip of her coffee and started spilling, "We began shooting that movie I told you about! I did tell you that we started working on satire, right? I got some of the ballet students to act for me, and I think it turned out really well. I can't wait for you to see it when it's finished."

"That sounds really great." Rachel softly replied as she took a short sip of her coffee as well, trying to force herself to act natural and look Alexis in the eye. But unfortunately she also knew herself well, and she knew that she could never act natural when in a situation like this.

The red-head's smile stiffened a little bit; she'd too noticed the odd vibes coming from her girlfriend, and Rachel hated that she was so see-through. "Is something wrong?" Alexis whispered then. There was already something in her eyes, something that told Rachel that she had been fearing this.

The diva swallowed loudly, trying to gather up the courage to tell the other girl what was on her mind. It wasn't going to be easy no matter how long she dragged it out, so she told herself that she might as well get it over with. "Alexis..." she begun, softly, letting the other girl's name spill across her lips in a bitter-sweet way, "I really don't know how to tell you this, but..."

"You have feelings for someone else." Alexis replied, down-casting her eyes for just a second before she looked up at Rachel again, her lower lip trembling.

"I do." Rachel whispered, "And I'm sorry to do this to you, but I just-"

Alexis cut her off, "I know. It's Santana."

Looking up, meeting the red-head's eyes, Rachel felt herself get alarmed. "What?" she breathed out, confusion bubbling within her. How would Alexis know anything about Santana? About how the Latina made her feel, and what Rachel thought? "...how do you know?" she murmured, flushing a deep red.

Shaking her head, Alexis swallowed loudly, loudly enough for Rachel to hear, "Please, Rach..." she begun, "I'm not stupid. I've got eyes in my head, you know." she paused, "I've seen it since I've known you. I just kept hoping that maybe you'd fall for me too, and start to love me, so you wouldn't leave me. Now I realise that that was foolish. She's been there all along."

"I'm so sorry." Rachel whispered, clutching her cup of coffee and trying to stay strong, because she did not have the right to be upset; Alexis was the one who should be the most upset, so why did Rachel feel like crying, too? "Alexis, I really am... I hadn't realised that I have these feelings when I started dating you, otherwise I would have never-" she cut herself off, swallowing, and holding back tears, "I wouldn't have gotten into this with you if I'd known, you have to believe me."

Alexis smiled softly at her; tears were slowly starting to trail down her face, but she was smiling through them. "I know." she whispered, and she reached a hand across the table to grab Rachel's, "I know. Because I know you... You're the sweetest, most warm-hearted person I've ever met... I know you wouldn't have down this to me if you could have helped it."

Rachel bit her lip, "I really want to be friends."

The other girl squeezed her hand tightly, "I wanna be friends too." she firmly said, nodding her head and smiling, "I do. I want to. Even if I have to see you with her, I just-"

"I _know_ you'd be the wiser choice, Alexis, believe me," Rachel begun, "you and I both know it." she said, "You are all the right things, while Santana is _all_ the wrong things... But, the hearts wants what the heart wants, and I'm in love with her." she stopped, licking her lips and meeting Alexis' eyes, "I am so deeply, seriously in love with her, so what can I do? Even if it's not a good thing, this is how I feel. How can I ignore that?"

"You can't." Alexis whispered out, softly, kindly, "And that's why I'm telling you to go for it. Tell her, do what you have to do... I'm going to be here for you all the way."

Rachel couldn't believe that she was fortunate enough to have a friend like Alexis. Even after dating her and kissing her, she could still be her friend. She didn't deserve Alexis' kind words and her support, she really didn't. But there the other girl was... Saying that she was going to support her all the way, like they'd been friends for a lifetime. Rachel couldn't believe how lucky she was. "You're an amazing person, Alexis. Someday – you'll make some girl very, very happy."

Chuckling, Alexis let go of her hand and grabbed her coffee, "I know." she said, before she took a sip of the cup and placed it on the table again, "And now I'd really like you to leave, Rach," she begun then, meeting her eyes, suddenly getting serious, "because while I told you that I'm going to support you... I'll need a day or two to cry this out."

With her breath stuck in her throat, Rachel nodded. "Okay." she whispered as she grabbed her coffee and pushed her chair back. "I'll see you?"

"You will." Alexis promised, and Rachel knew it was the truth. She could see it in her eyes, just before she turned to leave.

**X **

Santana could not believe her fucking luck. Like seriously, this was the most perfect thing to happen to her since she fucking got to New York. It was what she had secretly been hoping for, waiting for, (un)patiently trying to cease the right moment to do it, and now – bam!, there it was.

_Rusty Rick's_ had open mic night, and the second her boss had told her, she'd signed on to sing her songs.

She wasn't entirely sure if she could do it yet, or if she was ready for it, if she could play the guitar well enough to do so in front of a – hopefully – full café, but she knew that she had to do it. It was a familiar environment, there'd be people she already knew, and it was the moment for her to try this out. She had to make sure that she was cut out for it; that she was able to sit there, alone, and bare her feelings in the way she imagined it inside of her head.

She'd just have to fucking make do with the lyrics she already had, with the songs she could already play. It wasn't going to be many songs anyway, perhaps just a few or three, and if she couldn't do that by now, she'd never be able to do this for a living. At least that's what she told herself. She had to to this, or she'd have to find a new dream.

Not wanting to admit this to everyone, if someone ever asked her, Santana was skipping home. She couldn't wait to get back to the apartment; hopefully Rachel would already be there so she could share the news with her. She felt like she was going to burst already, since she'd spent the day holding onto the news herself. She was ready to share them with someone – and that someone had to be Rachel, because she was the one person Santana had thought of, the first person to pop into her head when she'd done it; Rachel was the one who had to know. She was the one who'd worked with her since she moved there, she was the one who'd pushed her, urged her to play the guitar, to write her own lyrics.

Santana wasn't even sure that she would have been able to do anything if it hadn't been for Rachel. It was like – the diva was the push that she'd needed somehow, the reason for her to do it (even if her own wish was reason enough). Rachel just had this certain sort of drive in her, something that very few people possessed. And even if Santana enjoyed laying around as much as the next person, some of Rachel's energy and eagerness had rubbed off on her. And thank _fuck_ for that.

When she stepped into the apartment, she heard the water running in the bathroom and smiled to herself as she kicked off her boots and threw her jacket and purse on the hanger. She paused in front of the bathroom door, holding her breath and telling herself that it would be a pretty fucked way of showing Rachel how much she cared by stepping into the shower with her.

How would she though? How would she gather up her fucking courage and (wo)man up enough to tell Rachel that she cared so much about her? Santana knew she was a pussy when it came to these things. She'd been four fucking years about admitting her love for Brittany; not only to herself but to the blonde and then to the entire school. She wasn't even sure that she would have been out yet, had it not been for the stupid campaign video.

She wasn't imagining all these things though, was she? She knew that she'd drooled over Rachel's killer body for a long time now (ever since walking in on her in the shower... damn, that was a moment she'd never forget!), but all these other things? These subtle hints? The tingles in her fingers and toes? Even the looks that Rachel would sometimes throw her way? They weren't just inside of _her_ head – were they?

Santana really fucking wasn't sure. But she couldn't keep making excuses, she'd have to find a way. She'd never been good with words though, never. Everytime she had to tell Brittany something, she'd always done it in song. It was the way she expressed herself best... through music. Through lyrics. And suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

The Latina swept pass the bathroom door and into the kitchen, smiling to herself and enjoying how she could now hear Rachel humming after she'd turned off the water. Santana imagined how she was now drying off her hair, water dripping down her toned body. She couldn't dwell too much on that image though, because if she started thinking those thoughts, she wouldn't be able to stop and Rachel would walk out of the bathroom only to catch her in a very compromising position. Like, with her hand between her legs.

Rachel had something in the oven and Santana kneed down to see what it was; it was a dish of root vegetables (like Rachel made them best), and the Latina felt her mouth salivating already. Rachel had made dinner for them? It was the perfect set-up for her to tell the other girl her good news. Santana opened the cabinet in the corner and pulled out a bottle of red wine. If they were going to have this amazing dish, they might as well enjoy a good glass of wine as well.

She heard the door to the bathroom open and two seconds later, Rachel was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a towel wrapped around her lithe body. "Santana! Hi!" she greeted her, and the smile on her face was giant. "I was just taking a quick shower. I'm making dinner for us."

"And I'm opening up a bottle of red wine." Santana replied and held up the bottle as she did a little dance with it.

"Nice." Rachel said with a chuckle. "I have something I need to tell you, so..." she trailed off, "That's why I wanted to uh, to make the dinner for us."

Santana licked her lips. "Ditto." she replied.

Rachel smiled warmly at her, and she was quiet for a few seconds; they were just looking at each other, and it was like the air shifted between them. "I'm going to... to dress myself."

Nodding, Santana replied, "I'll set the table."

As Rachel disappeared from the kitchen, Santana started to set the table. She couldn't help but love how this was so natural with them; how it was just a regular thing that Rachel prepared dinner and showered, and Santana set the table, and everything just went smoothly, like they'd been doing it for years. It came natural to them; it was like she knew Rachel, and Rachel knew her, and their everyday life just came naturally and nicely.

Santana could really get used to this. She really, really could.

When Rachel stepped out of the bedroom again; dressed in her sleeping shorts and a tank top with her hair in a bun on top of her head, Santana was just uncorking the wine. The food was on the table, and there was a nice aroma in their tiny two-bedroom apartment. Rachel looked so naturally beautiful as she took a seat on her regular chair, and Santana sat down in front of her, pouring them both a glass of wine.

"This smells amazing. Darn, I'm a fine chef." Rachel said with a giggle as she served them both some vegetables. "I put the regular spices on them, but lots of oregano because I know how much you like it."

"I do like oregano." Santana laughed and smiled at Rachel as the brunette handed her a full plate. "What's the occasion anyway, Rach? You said you wanted to talk?" she softly queered as she grabbed her fork and forked a piece of carrot.

Rachel was chewing slowly on a piece of beetroot as she nodded her head. "Yes, yes, it's just... I decided – today – to end things with Alexis." she paused shortly, as if she was finished, but then hurried to continue, "I – I know we've only been together shortly, and it's not that I don't care about her, I just contemplated my life when we were in Lima and came to the conclusion that Alexis and I are not meant to be."

Santana paused, "You broke up with her?"

"Yes." Rachel replied and forked a piece of potato.

The Latina could feel her heartbeat speed up as it started thudding against her chest. She could hardly swallow the food in her mouth, and she felt a little bit panicked; what if Rachel had broken up with Alexis because she'd figured out that she wasn't gay? Oh holy fucking shit. Rachel _wasn't_ gay! Why had she ever thought that that girl was a lesbian when she so clearly wasn't!? Now Rachel had figured out that she was only into men, and Santana would never be able to tell her how she felt without making a giant fool out of herself! Oh mother of all that is fucking holy, why did she always – frigging always – fall for the straight girls!?

Taking a sip of red wine, Rachel added, "We're still going to be friends though."

Santana had to mentally smack herself to snap out of it; she had to respond to what Rachel was telling her – she couldn't just sit there like some fucking idiot. She had to react for fuck's sake! "But... why did you realise that you're not meant to be?" Santana managed to get out. _That's fucking good, Santana, _she told herself with a mental back-pat, _act fucking normal, and stop being such a motherfucking idiot. _

Rachel sighed and seemed to think about it for a few seconds as she picked food from her plate. "Well... Alexis is an amazing girl, but she's not the girl for me. I couldn't stay with her, not when I know it's not supposed to be us."

The Latina breathed a sigh of relief. The way that Rachel had phrased that sentence, it sure as hell sounded like she was still into girls, not guys. Which was frigging fucking awesome, because otherwise Santana might have had to get over her and she wasn't really that fond of that idea. "Is there a... girl for you then?" she managed to squeak out. She had no idea what was going on with her right now; she was a mess of emotions and her body was acting strange, and it was not like her. She was not supposed to be a stuttering idiot, because she was Santana motherfucking Lopez, but apparently Rachel just brought it out in her. Why the fuck, she had no idea, but that was just the way it was.

There was a glint in Rachel's eyes as she raised her glass of wine to her lips. "There might be." she whispered, and Santana swore she saw something in her eyes; something that told her that she was the girl, that there were feelings between them, something in the air, something that could evolve into something so much more. But she couldn't be sure, because she could never be sure. Not when Rachel was sitting across from her and looking so damn beautiful, and hinting things that Santana thought she knew, but probably didn't know at all.

When had all of this happened? When had her life turned itself up-side-down by making her fall in love with Rachel Berry? Why wasn't she out partying on Friday nights, hooking up with random girls and enjoying her youth? Why wasn't she having sex every night and getting herself so drunk she couldn't stand on her own two legs? There was only one answer to that – and she was sitting right in front of her. For some reason, something had happened, something she'd never even thought possible, and she had fallen for Rachel Berry. She had ended up in New York, living with Rachel, and during all of this, her feelings had changed into something she'd never imagined.

Rachel finished her wine and immediately reached for the bottle to pour herself some more. "Doesn't matter right now anyway," she whispered then, pouring more wine into Santana's glass as well, "there's some things I need to uh... figure out."

"Huh." Santana managed to squeak out, before she grabbed her glass and gulped every drop inside of it down.

Turning her eyes downward, Rachel was smiling into her plate, Santana could see that, and the brunette ate in silence for a few seconds, Santana following her example. The atmosphere inside of the apartment had shifted remarkably, and although it was weird, it wasn't in a bad way.

"So..." Rachel looked up at her again, a sideways grin on her face, "What did you want to tell me?"

"Oh!" Santana sat up straight, and she felt herself grin widely. This, this she knew how to handle, because she was fucking awesome. "Guess who's gonna blow everyone's minds when she performs her own frigging songs at _Rusty Rick's_ at open mic night?"

Rachel squealed and dropped her fork to the table. "Are you kidding me?!" she clapped her hands together in delight, "Oh my Streisand! Santana! Are you really going to perform your own music soon?"

The Latina smiled proudly; she couldn't help but feel so happy that Rachel seemed to be so thrilled for her, so proud of her. "Yup." she said, popping the 'p', "As soon as Rick told me, I signed the motherfucking list." she paused and raised an eyebrow, regaining some of her usual awesomeness and sass, "It's only going to be three songs or so, and since I can't play that much yet, I really hafta practice before the show!"

Humming, Rachel said, "You're amazing, Santana. I'm so proud of you for doing this. You're going to be incredible, I just know it."

"You'll be there, right?" Santana questioned, squeezing her fork tightly as she prayed that her room-mate would.

There was a soft look in Rachel's eyes, as she replied, "I wouldn't miss it for the world." she whispered, and she sounded so sincere, that there was not a doubt in Santana's mind that she meant it.

Licking her lips, Santana added, "I can't do it without you, you know." she said and stuffed a piece of potato into her mouth, "You've supported and helped me every step of the way. I wouldn't be able to do this, hadn't you kept pushing me to do something." she paused, "Thank you, Rach."

Rachel dropped her fork and reached her hand across the table to grab Santana's. "You're welcome." she whispered, tilting her head and locking her eyes to the Latina's, "I'll be here for you. Always." she promised.

"I know." Santana whispered back, and there was not a doubt in her mind – she would.

* * *

_I know, I know – this isn't much after such a long wait, and I really do apologise! Things have just been absolutely crazy in my life; so much going on! We had our exam and thankfully that went well (we got 12, which is the highest grade in Denmark), and then my girlfriend and I broke up, and this last week I've had to help my mother move all of her stuff from my childhood home and into her new place. _

_I hope you're still enjoying this story though – there's not too many chapters left, and hopefully the next one will be here a bit sooner than this one! _

_Thanks for reading and commenting! _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve **

She was stressing around, trying to figure out all of the remaining details for tonight (and really, she thought that she was well-prepared, because Rachel had been up her ass the last few days), but somehow she just wasn't ready at all. She had no idea what to wear because the clothes she'd picked out with Rachel last night were not looking good on her, and she hadn't done her nails, and her extensions were loose, and everything was just one big, gigantic, ass-whooping mess!

Santana felt like shouting and punching something; like really. Just hammering her fist into the wall until it started bleeding. She was that frustrated with this entire situation. Tonight was supposed to be perfect, and was she ready, was she frigging ready at all? The answer to that question was no. No, she was not fucking ready. Of course she wasn't. She was Santana Lopez, and she always had to mess up at every possibility she got!

_Stop yourself Santana_, she told herself then, pausing by the foot of the bed and biting her lip, _stop being such an annoying baby, and get yourself together. You're Santana Motherfucking Lopez, and you can do this shit! You can really do this shit! _She groaned loudly and let herself fall backwards onto the bed with a sigh.

She still had time. Rachel was at school until late, so she was going to meet her at _Rusty Rick's_. So all Santana had to do was get some food into her stomach and get ready. Everything else was set – so why was those simple tasks so hard to accomplish? She tried to mentally picture herself up on that stage; now what was she wearing in her mind when she performed?

Before she had time to think more about it, her phone started ringing. She was really too tired to stand up and pick it up, but she also knew that it could be important, so she dragged herself off the bed and into the living room. When she picked up the phone, she paused. That was her grandmother's name and picture flashing across the screen on her iPhone. What the fuck? Her grandmother?! Santana felt her heartbeat speed up. This was totally and entirely surprising. Why would her grandmother be calling? They hadn't spoken in _months_.

Santana had to pick up the phone.

"Yeah?" she softly squeaked out, still unsure whether or not this was happening, and definitely unsure of how she was supposed to react.

"Santana?" her grandmother questioned, and the Latina could feel herself crumble when she heard the well-known voice; it was so comforting, and so familiar, and damn, had she missed it! "This is your abuela"

Santana cleared her throat, "Yeah... yeah. Hi." she whispered, and she knew that she wasn't her usual self right now, but being vulnerable was something she could only be among a very few selected people – and her grandmother had always been one of them.

Her abuela seemed to be just as emotional about this as she was, "I am calling to talk to you, Santana."

Biting her lip, Santana wanted to be offensive, to tell her off, but she was far too appreciative of this moment to do that, "Really? I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore."

"I know I said that, but I have had time to think lately," the older woman said, hesitating, "and I've been missing you. My favourite."

Santana was so thankful that she was home alone and that no one was watching her right now, because tears were slipping out of her eyes, and she had to breathe in deeply a few times to calm herself down – she almost wasn't able to speak, "Yeah, you favourite until I turned out gay."

"I still do not like that word, Santana." her grandmother continued, "But I have had time to think, and I am starting to realise that maybe... Maybe it's not about what people talk about aloud, but about who you love."

Staring absently out of the window, Santana hummed in response.

Her grandmother continued, "People haven't even been talking, and they all know, Santana."

"Not everyone sees the world the way you do, abuela." Santana whispered back. She couldn't believe that this was happening right now; she did not have the energy and the time to deal with this right now. Tonight was supposed to be the day that she finally started taking control of her life – and in more ways than one! She was supposed to go up there and sing her ass off, but Quinn had also managed to convince her that... That tonight was the night that she was going to lay it all out to Rachel; she'd planned on dedicating the song to her, and then sing the song she had written with her in mind. Santana wasn't sure if she was crazy or not, but the blonde girl had convinced her to bare herself – in front of an entire crowd – in a way that she'd never dared to do before.

"I know," her grandmother replied, sighing loudly. "I want us to be okay again, Santana. I am so sorry that I cut you off, that I reacted the way I did. It wasn't fair to you. You are my granddaughter, and I love you no matter what."

Santana wasn't sure what she could say to all that – how was she supposed to react, to reply to that? "Are you saying this because you want to? Or because someone made you?" she whispered.

The other woman continued, "Do you have a special girl in your life right now, Santana?" she asked – and she sounded almost hopeful.

Shrugging, Santana desperately wanted to say yes, but she didn't, because technically Rachel wasn't her special anything, and also – her grandmother couldn't just ask her things like that after everything that had happened! She just didn't have the fucking right! "No, I don't." she replied with a sigh.

"You don't have a new girlfriend?" her grandmother continued to question her.

"Nope." she replied, popping the 'p'.

Now she just sounded disappointed, "Alright..." she trailed off, "I want to come visit you. If your parents ever come out to New York, I want to join them."

Santana really didn't want to hear this; something wasn't adding up. Why was her grandmother suddenly like this? Why had she so suddenly had a change of heart? It was too fucking weird! Something was up, and the Latina did not like it! "Abuela!" she snapped, not caring whether or not she cut her grandmother off whilst she was talking about visiting, "Why are you suddenly like this? Tell me!? What happened?" she demanded to know, "Who _talked_ to you?!"

"No one talked to me, Santana." her grandmother replied, but the younger woman could hear that that was a lie.

"_Who_ talked to you?" she repeated in a stern voice.

Her grandmother hesitated for a few seconds – then told her, "It was your friend Rachel." she replied in a whisper, and the second the name left her lips, Santana felt goosebumps rise all over her body, "Your sweet friend Rachel came to see me when the two of you were in Lima. She talked to me, and she – she spoke her case very well."

Santana almost felt nauseous. Rachel had seriously meddled like this? She'd gone to talk to her grandmother?! "_Rachel_ talked to you?"

"The sweetest girl," she continued, "she seems to love you so much, and she made me realise that... that I wasn't being fair to you."

"I can't believe she'd do that!" Santana snapped, letting her frustrations slip out. She could feel anger build up inside of her, and suddenly she wasn't thinking about performing tonight, about telling Rachel how she felt – now she just wanted to yell at her for meddling in something she shouldn't meddle in. "Abuela, I really wanna talk to you about all of this, and I'm gonna call you back very soon, but right now, I have to deal with something, alright?"

"Santana, _promise_ to call me back!" her grandmother demanded.

"I _promise_." Santana whispered, before she hung up the phone. She didn't even put it down though, she just punched Rachel's number in right away and hit the call-button.

**X**

_Oh holy Streisand!_ Rachel thought to herself as she ran down the hallway – too close to running late for Cassandra July's class, and boy she didn't want to feel her wrath! - and her cell phone started going off in her purse. She was almost tempted to let it be, but she felt guilty just at the thought, and so juggling her bag full of clothes in one hand, and walking rapidly, she had to unzip her purse and pull out the sparkling pink phone.

She paused when she saw that it was Santana who was calling her – Santana _never _called her during school-hours – so it just had to be important. She let class be class and stopped in her tracks to pick up the phone. Considering the fact that tonight was the night, and she'd _just_ had a conversation with a florist to order the perfect bouquet of flowers for her beautiful room-mate, Santana had to be calling for something very important.

"Santana? Hi!" she squeaked.

"You _talked_ to my grandmother!?" Santana snapped at her, and Rachel felt herself jump a bit into the air in surprise, "You spoke to her about me? About my life!?" the Latina continued to hiss at her, and Rachel felt herself grow hot, because this was so not a conversation she'd expected to have right now, and boy, it wasn't going to be pleasant. Why – of all days – today? Why _right _now?

"Santana – what-?"

"You fucking meddled in my life, Rachel? You don't even know my grandmother, yet you talk to her about things like that? Did you ever consider just letting things be – things that _don't_ concern you!?" Santana continued to fire right at her. And she was angry – so, so angry. Rachel hadn't experienced her this angry since she moved in, and she really didn't like it. It was the way she used to yell at her in high school, before they became friends. It was something she'd never thought she'd ever experience again, yet here she was, experiencing it.

Rachel felt herself grow angry. She knew that she had meddled – heck, she'd always been a meddler, _always_ – but it was for Santana's best, and if her grandmother had called her, it meant that it had worked – _right_? "Hey wait a minute – I talked to her for _you_, Santana. I just thought that – did she _call_ you?"

Santana spat right back at her, "Hell yeah, she called me, Rachel! But it wasn't your fight to fight for me! It's _my_ life, and you meddled in things you shouldn't have meddled in! I can't even – why the fuck would you do that!? Seriously, what went through your mind when you thought that that was a good idea!"

"I thought that I wanted to help you!" Rachel whispered back, and she could feel hot tears running down her cheeks. She was getting very upset right now, upset because Santana was reacting the way she was, when there was no reason for it. She didn't understand why Santana was getting mad at her for doing this, especially not if her grandmother had actually called her to talk to her and fix things! And now of all days – now when she'd just ordered flowers and was going to be the supportive friend, cheering for her (the friend who secretly wanted to tell her just how much she loves her). "I thought that I – that I care so much about you Santana, that I love you, and I hate to see you upset!"

"Yeah well," Santana replied, her voice shaky, and she still sounded just as mad, "I thought that you were the person I trusted and loved more than no one else, yet you do this behind my back?"

Rachel blinked the tears away, "I'm sorry, I did it to make things better."

The other girl huffed, "Well, you just made things worse between _us_." she whispered, "I can't believe you meddled like this. See you later." she finished, before she hung up the phone.

Staring at her phone, Rachel couldn't believe what had just happened. Had Santana seriously just yelled at her for making things better somehow? That so did not make any sense! Why was she so upset about this? Maybe it was because of her pride? Maybe it was because Santana hated when someone else fixed something she couldn't fix herself? Rachel had no idea, - _no idea_ – because it was so hard to figure out what went on inside of Santana's head. The other girl was so hard to read! Rachel wanted so badly to go into the bathroom to cry this out, but she really didn't have the time. She had to rush to that class and just... dance her ass off even though she so wasn't in the mood for it and Cassandra July's mocking ways.

Getting herself together the best way she could, she rubbed her cheeks with the back of her hand, hoping that there was no smudged make-up, before she ran down the hallway once more, turning a corner and rushing straight into the gymnasium – where the others had already started.

"Oh, so nice of you to join us, Ms. Berry." Cassandra sarcastically greeted her without even turning to look at her as she stood, facing the rest of the students.

Bending her head down, Rachel replied, "Sorry I'm late." she whispered, just as she hurried across the floor and slipped her bag off her shoulder.

Cassandra turned to look at her, with a stern look in her eyes, "Just because you think you're better than everyone else inside this room, you don't get special treatment."

"I don't think I'm better than everyone else." Rachel replied as she kicked off her shoes and bent down to slip her other shoes on.

"Oh really?" her teacher replied, and finally she turned around to face her. She stepped closer, ignoring the rest of the class who was watching them interact. She stopped right in front of Rachel, staring down at her. "So you don't think you're better – yet you send your friend over here to talk to me and do your bidding?"

Rachel stared at her, confused. What was she talking about now? "What do you mean?" she questioned. She'd already given up on this fight beforehand; she was late to class, and Cassandra had every right to be mad at her. But now with this? What was she talking about now – that mad, insane woman? Rachel could not _believe_ that she had to deal with Santana's wrath and Cassandra's fuming mood within the same hour of the same day.

Cassandra sighed heavily, acting like it was very annoying to be talking to her about this, like she was some child who didn't understand anything. She stared down at her, her piercing grey eyes indicating just how displeased she was with her; just how much she hated her. It gave Rachel the chills. The older woman sighed once more, "Your _friend_," she begun, hate lacing her every word and slipping across her tongue, "that frisky, fierce and bitchy Latina girl – she came into my classroom to lecture me on how to treat, how to _teach_, my students."

As realisation dawned on her, Rachel felt her mouth fall agape. Wait a minute-? Santana? Santana had been here to talk to Cassandra July? But how? But _when_!? Rachel didn't know any other Latinas so it could only be Santana. Besides, the rest of those adjectives seemed to fit her very well. "I – I – I didn't know..." she started to explain in a whisper, but her voice faded into nothing. What she also didn't know, was what to say.

Blinking at her, Cassandra shook her head, "Yeah well. She showed up here, like some smart-ass, telling me how and how not to treat you." she stepped closer, placing her fingers around Rachel's chin and forcing their eyes to meet, "I do not like being told what to do. So control your damn friends, Ms. Berry, and show up on time."

Swallowing loudly, Rachel didn't want to let her frustrations show; she didn't want to let Cassandra – the witch – see just how much this was affecting her right now. She couldn't believe that Santana had done that; it was a sweet sentiment, yes, but nothing she should meddle in. And oh! She'd _just_ had the nerve to yell at her for meddling!? Rachel blinked away a tear, and held her teacher's gaze.

"Understood?" Cassandra kept on, and pressed her fingers just a bit harder into Rachel's chin, just to make sure that she'd win.

"Yes." Rachel heard herself reply, and just like that, Cassandra let go and turned to face the rest of her students.

"You're dismissed for today." the blonde woman told her then, looking at her other students, barely acknowledging her presence, "And for the next class, you can show up on time or not show up at all."

Not replying, Rachel bent down; she picked up her bag, threw it over her shoulder and picked up her shoes. She left the room, silently, not wanting to give Cassandra the satisfaction of seeing how upset she was; seeing how this argument had affected her. Not that her teacher would really know why she was this upset; because that was Santana's fault. Santana's fault for just being mad at her over the phone, and for meddling (when really, she was the person who didn't want _her_ to meddle!). Why had Santana done this? Oh Rachel knew why.. Because she'd been upset, and Santana had hated to see it (which meant she cared, which made Rachel happy).

It made her angry though, quite furious, because if Santana could get so mad at her for meddling, she shouldn't meddle herself! There must be rules about that, right? If one doesn't want other people to meddle, oneself shouldn't meddle? Rachel wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, she wanted to call Santana back and yell at her the way she'd just done, but that was just childish and it would make things worse. She could also not show up tonight, but that was the stupidest idea ever, because this shouldn't mean that she couldn't support Santana on her big night. And it'd just make things worse.

She had to call Quinn. She _was_ calling Quinn before she'd even had time to finish the thought. Quinn would advise her on what to do; she always did. She always gave great advice and she knew practically everything there was to know about this certain situation.

Quinn was thankfully in-between classes and answered right away, "Hi Rach!"

"Quinn, I am upset with Santana." Rachel begun.

The blonde hesitated, "Go on..."

Rachel started to explain, as she walked down the hallway, shoes in hand, "Santana yelled at me for meddling, for talking to her grandmother, and now I just found out she talked to Cassandra July! She meddled too, Quinn! Oh the nerve that girl has!"

"So you're upset now?" Quinn questioned her, and there was a sigh escaping her lips.

"Yes." Rachel said, "I am upset, and I am contemplating not showing up tonight."

"No!" Quinn quickly said, furiously, almost too eagerly, "No, Rach, no, no, _no_. You have to show up."

Rachel paused, wondering why Quinn was acting a bit strange, just a little too eager to make sure she did go to the show. "Why?" she whispered, "Why do I have to go?"

Quinn didn't answer immediately. She hummed into the phone for a second, before she replied, "Did you not order flowers and everything? Did you not plan on wooing her tonight? You can't just postpone that! It's perfect!"

It did sound perfect. Hello, that was why she had planned it for tonight in the first place. But would it be perfect when they were both upset with each other? Rachel thought not. "But she meddled!"

"Yes, and you meddled, get over it." Quinn sighed, and Rachel could just picture her, rolling her eyes, "You both did it because you care about each other." she paused, "So stop being such an idiot and go get your girl for crying out loud!"

Rachel bit her lip, contemplating the words which were leaving Quinn's mouth. They did make very good sense, sort of. "Maybe you're right."

"I'm right, Rach, you know that." Quinn quickly replied.

"I'll go get her." Rachel whispered.

"You go get her."

"Thanks!" the brunette said, "Thanks Quinn, I will." she finished with determination, before she hung up the phone and clenched her jaw. Tonight was the night – she was going to go get the girl.

* * *

_I know I'm an idiot for not updating sooner, and I do apologise deeply for that. I swear, there's just too many things going on in my life, and I rarely have time to write! Good thing is, there's only so many chapters left, so hopefully this will be ending soon so I won't feel so guilty and you guys won't be left wondering and waiting for weeks. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I want to thank you all for your reviews and your support – you guys rock! _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

She was trying so hard not to think about how Rachel had let her down, and how she was mad at her, and how this night was supposed to be perfect, but now it just sort of wasn't. It was really difficult to be inside her head this night, and it confused her even further. Usually her thoughts were straight and to the point, so this confusion? It was just sort of... eh, confusing.

It hadn't even helped to call Quinn and talk to her – that had just pissed her off even more, because the blonde had told her she was an idiot for getting so mad, and why was she angry with Rachel for doing her a favour? And even though Santana so hated that Quinn was right... Quinn was sort of fucking right.

Which was why this confusion-thing was happening to her right now.

It didn't matter anyway. She just had to get it together and perform her ass off; she had to blow everyone away, because it was a known fact that when _Rusty Rick's_ had these sort of nights, producers would come, famous people would be searching for other people to be famous, and damn, Santana wanted to be famous. It was what she really wanted, her sole reason for coming to New York, and hell, she was going to be famous no matter what! That was the plan, damnit!

She wasn't even sure if Rachel was going to show tonight now. After she'd told her off on the phone, she wasn't entirely sure that Rachel would have the nerve to show up. Of course the other girl usually wasn't one to back down like that, but still... She could be weird at times, and maybe she would just not show up. It wasn't easy to say with her. Even though Santana was still pissed at her for meddling in her life this way, she still wanted her to come. She'd planned on playing her the song after all, and everything was supposed to be fucking perfect.

But it definitely wouldn't surprise her if she looked into the audience later, and Rachel wasn't there.

_I'll just have to make-do without her,_ Santana told herself as she clutched her guitar tightly. She'd been looking forward to showing Rachel how good she had gotten, but it didn't matter. It'd have to wait for some other time. She couldn't afford to get her mind worked up in all the problems with them, not tonight. She had to be focused; entirely focused.

"Ya' ready to shine bright, kiddo?" Rick asked her, as he placed a giant hand on her shoulder, practically knocking her to the floor. "I can't wait to hear you."

"I'm ready." Santana told him, staring up at him with a soft smile on her face. She didn't say it to convince him or herself – she actually said it because she meant it. For the first time since she got the foolish idea to sign herself up for this... it felt like she really was. She was ready to move on, ready to start doing what she came here for.

Rick smiled at her, "I hope ya' won't be leavin' me too soon, Santana. You're the goddamn best waitress I have in this joint."

Santana couldn't help the wave of affections that flushed over her, "Don't worry, Rick, you can't keep me away from here." she promised him, and even tough she'd someday be a famous singer, _or_ actress, _or_ star, she'd still come to this place. Not to work, but to enjoy the music and soak in the atmosphere. She was sure of that.

He padded her on the shoulder, "Glad to hear it, kiddo." he said, before he brushed pass her and onto the stage again. He'd been presenting all the acts tonight, and although there had been a few good ones, Santana was sure that she could beat them all, and perform them all off stage in a second. She was motherfucking badass and the audience was going to realise that immediately. Fuckin' A.

"The next singer-songerwriter I'm going to present tonight, is one of our own here at_ Rusty Rick's_. Ya regulars might know her as the feisty Latina waitress, and I am proud to present my own employee," Rick said and gestured towards the side of the stage, where Santana was waiting, just out of sight, "Ms. Santana Lopez!"

Taking in a deep breath, Santana carefully stepped onto the small makeshift stage. She could feel her hear beat wildly in her chest, and this was the most fucking nervous she'd ever been at a performance before. It was the first time she was going to play the guitar, and she could feel it in her fingers; they were itching to play, but at the same they, they were frigging terrified that they were going to mess up. She took a seat at the high barstool at centre stage, and she readjusted the mike like a fucking pro (seriously, those suckers had to think that she'd been doing this for years!) while she tried to scan the crowd for a familiar face.

She felt disappointment wash over her when she couldn't find Rachel's smile in the midst of all the other smiles. There was no brunette diva, not tiny midget urging her on. She hated that it affected her this way, affected her that she wasn't there, but she was starting to get used to the fact that she was dependant at the other girl... That she actually cared enough about her to be disappointed. She'd have to figure all of this out later though, because she was going to perform now, and she couldn't lose focus.

"Hi." she softly said, as her eyes got used to the bright lights. She was comfortable on this stage though – it was nice. "Like Rick just told ya' all, I'm Santana, and I usually work her while I'm trying to make it. This is me, and this," she padded her guitar, "is my guitar. The lyrics you're about to hear is all me as well – and they're about the most amazing girl in the entire fucking world. About my best friend… my room-mate. The girl I _love_." she cleared her throat and let her eyes fall to the floor for just a second, "Here goes."

Starting to move, her fingers dances across the strings in a perfect manner. Perfect like they'd been doing this for years and not just months, perfect like this was meant to be, like she was born for it. The sound of her music streamed through the room, and she could tell that people were waiting in anticipation, wanting to hear her play and listen to what she had to say. She was nervous, but she didn't allow it to show, she didn't allow her fingers to slip and mess up, because tonight was the night; she was getting so emotional, and she hadn't even started singing the lyrics yet. She wondered if her voice was about to fail her, but then she thought – if she could sing _Songbird_ to Brittany, if she had been able to sing _Landslide_ in front of the entire Glee Club, she would be able to do this, too. Even if this was so much more emotional.

_One day I didn't have a care__  
Except my picture in the mirror and the colour of my hair__  
I sang along to records about tomorrow__  
Now my hands are worn, my clothes are torn__  
A few of my dreams have been met with scorn__  
And I don't have too much time left to borrow_

Santana could hear herself utter those words, those lyrics so personal and true. She'd never felt better about herself than after she started writing her own lyrics – those were thoughts she'd had about herself and her life and the way everything was supposed to be. Sometimes she couldn't believe she hadn't done this before; because just writing her thoughts – her fears – down on paper made her feel better. But she could also feel, that right now – singing them – that felt pretty damn awesome too. She couldn't explain it; it was even better than singing someone else's words, even if they fitted the situation. Now she finally understood what Rachel had been saying all along, and where _Get It Right _came from back in high school.

It was so true; that used to be her. She was the girl who didn't care much about anything, except what other people thought of her. She couldn't be gay, because they didn't like that, she couldn't be in Glee, because they didn't like that either, and she didn't dare do much of anything that could give her a future. Until Glee, until she dared to be herself – after that, she could dream. She wanted to get out of Lima, and someone finally believed she could, she wanted to be happy, and she finally believed she could. Even if some people had said that her dreams were silly and unattainable, some of the best people in this world had believed in her.

Even… Rachel. When she'd knocked on her door all those months ago, the diva had been apprehensive, but supportive. She'd urged her on every step of the way; supported her dreams of stardom and guided her whenever she'd needed it. Rachel was a huge part of the reason why she was sitting there right now, performing the way she was. And all of those things – they had made her see Rachel differently, they'd made her change her view on the other girl.

And perhaps her struggles and her past had made her guard herself before; had made her protect her heart so she wouldn't get hurt. But now…. She was slowly changing, and she was ready. She didn't want to be guarded anymore; she wanted to let love – Rachel – in. And she was ready. And that was why she sang those words; sang them with her heart and a voice that was slightly quivering because the tears were pressing behind her closed eyelids.

_But still I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt,_  
_Wanna start all over and know what it's worth_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_

Rachel was holding her breath. Logically, she knew that holding ones breath could really be very dangerous, but this was simply a situation where breathing was turning out to be very difficult for her. And quite frankly, would it not be for everybody? She didn't understand how everyone in this place was not crying their eyes out. That was so beautiful! Everything about this was so beautiful. Santana was looking extremely beautiful (did she not always?) and her voice was beautiful, and those lyrics? Outstandingly beautiful. Yes, that was a lot of beautiful, Rachel realised that as well.

She could barely manage to stay on her feet right now. Oh Streisand, Santana was doing a fine job! But… that wasn't why it was so difficult to breathe or why she couldn't come up with a better description than 'beautiful'. Santana was singing… to _her_. Wasn't she? Admittedly, Rachel was a bit confused at the moment, about what was really going on right now, but when she tried to rewind to what Santana had said before she began singing, Rachel was pretty certain that she'd said something about loving her friend and room-mate.

Sure, Santana had lots of friends, Rachel knew that. Brittany and Quinn for instance, and Puck. And that girl she slept with when they went out for a night in town. But she only had _one_ room-mate. Unless she'd secretly let Brittany live under their bed between the bed-rollers for a while, Rachel felt quite sure that she only had one room-mate.

And that was her. Rachel Berry, Rachel Barbra Berry. _She_ was Santana's room-mate. And thus the person that Santana was singing to. Could it really be?

Suddenly, all earlier anger with Santana for meddling in her business with Cassandra July was gone. She couldn't even feel it anymore, all she could feel was an extremely beating heart, thudding away in her chest, as she longed to put her arms around Santana's body. She wasn't sure how this had happened, if this song was really about her… Just for how long had Santana felt this way? All she knew was that now it appeared that Santana had feelings for her as well, not just any feelings, loving feelings of actually feeling… love.

And she was happy! She was so incredibly happy right now; she almost couldn't believe it. If Santana was willingly putting her heart out there, in front of all these people, it had to mean that she was really certain about these feelings, right? She wasn't possibly going to bail on her in a few weeks. Rachel wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle that, not losing Santana, that would be too hard on her.

_Your stubborn independence__  
Reminds me of myself__  
It doesn't make a lot of sense__  
It isn't very good for health__  
I know you want to be alone__  
But I sure like talking on the phone__  
And I've finally left my carry-on bag behind me_

Rachel almost wanted to cry, or perhaps she actually wanted to laugh. The sound she made was definitely a mix between a wail and a giggle. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she was laughing; only Santana could make such a beautiful love song into something like this – humorous. Because _oh_, was she right!? They were both stubborn; they were the most stubborn people Rachel knew. And that wasn't going to be easy; it was going to be very tough and difficult. But she was confident that they could make that work for them, somehow. It had caused them both troubles before – it had also gotten them both to where they were today, but yes, it had also caused them trouble.

But Santana was telling her that she was ready to let go; to let all of that go. Forget all the stupid problems from high school, forget her love for Brittany and all the things that had set them apart. She was ready to just live her life, and be happy. And Rachel was very ready for that as well. And she could feel, deeply inside of her heart, that she desperately wanted it to be with Santana.

The tiny brunette was clutching the bouquet of flowers in her hands; her home-made card was tied to it with a glittery bow, and her fingers were turning numb. She was getting odd stares from everyone, because now, she simply couldn't control her tears, but she didn't care. She'd dressed up beautifully, in her favourite outfit, so she could look pretty when she tried to woo Santana, and now… Now it seemed like it had not been for nothing, it appeared that perhaps Santana wouldn't be so hard to woo at all. Rachel held her breath as Santana continued with another chorus.

_Yeah I'm going to love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt before_  
_Love you like I've never been hurt_  
_We can start all over and know what it's worth_  
_I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_

Fading into nothing with the last few strums of her guitar, Santana finally dared to really look at her audience. Until now she'd been evasive, tried to ignore the way that people were watching her. It wasn't the same as back in high school, when she performed with the entire Glee Club in front of thousands of people. That had been less… frightening somehow. This was personal, this was for a selected few, and she was baring herself – thus making it very frightening.

But she finally dared to really look at them, as they applauded her and she couldn't help but smile. She'd manage to control her tears and her voice had stayed steady throughout the performance. She was relieved, but she also allowed herself to feel proud. She'd done it. She'd finally let herself go and perform her innermost feelings. And with the way that everyone was applauding her – she'd nailed it.

"Thank you." She huskily whispered into the microphone, before she stepped off the stage, wiping her sweaty hands off in her skinny jeans. When she got out back, she allowed herself to squeak as everything flooded her, and she rested her head against the wall to calm down.

That had been freaking _amazing_. She'd never felt or experienced anything like that before. Holy fuck, why hadn't she done something like this sooner? That was _such _a rush. It didn't even matter that Rachel hadn't been there. Of course it would have helped, it would have calmed her right before she started, if she'd seen that familiar face and those kind chocolate-coloured eyes. But she'd done it anyway, and that really proved to her that she was cut out for this. She was good enough.

She felt Rick's strong hand land on her shoulder, "Congratulations, kiddo. You did well." He told her, and she smiled, with her forehead still pressed against the brick wall. "Someone left these for you."

Turning around, quickly, she spun right into a giant bouquet of flowers. Rick was holding them out for her, smiling awkwardly, and not looking very pleased with all those flowers so close to him. She felt her eyes widen, and then stared up at him. "Me?"

"Some tiny girl." He shrugged his shoulders, "I think there's some producer out there. You might hear from them soon. I'll pass your information on to them if they ask, yeah?" he winked at her. She could tell that he was quite sure who the 'tiny girl' was, and that he also knew what Santana had to do – which is why she couldn't stay.

Santana ripped the card off the flowers, and quickly turned it over. It was shaped like a heart, and it only had three words written on it. It wasn't 'I love you' though, no… it said,

_I am sorry. _

Santana could feel her heart starting to speed up again. She knew it was from Rachel (who frigging else could it be?!) which meant that Rachel had been there and actually watched her perform. Which meant that she'd heard her song, and… and she knew. Yet she was gone. The Latina furrowed her brow and tried to figure out what to make of this. She looked up at the older man, "She say anything?"

He shook his head, "Nope. Handed these to me and hurried on."

Swallowing, Santana felt herself grow even more confused. The logical thing for Rachel to do – if she didn't feel the same – had to be to pretend that she hadn't been there. But she'd left the flowers, which meant that she wanted Santana to know. What the fuck was going on? The note could only be referring to how she'd meddled in Santana's relationship with her abuela, which wasn't really that upsetting anymore. What the fuck was she going to do now? This made no frigging sense!

"I'm gonna go." She told Rick then, clutching the flowers and feeling determination in the pit of her stomach. She had to crack this riddle; she had to figure out what to make of this. And if Rachel was going to shoot her down, she fucking had to do it to her face. Not this crap!

He nodded, and she tip-toped up to press a kiss to his cheek, before she grabbed her jacket and hurried out of the backdoor.

**X**

When she heard the front door go, Rachel knew that it was now or never. Santana was home, and she'd seen the flowers and realised that she had been at her show. The tiny diva hadn't known how to react, not right there in the middle of _Rusty Rick's_, so it had been a lot easier to just hand Rick the flowers and flee the scene.

She hadn't really known, when she arrived home, what her plan was going to be, but she'd just known that she had to do something. Which was why she was now sitting on the bed, with a heart threatening to fly right out of her chest, and had made a path of lit candles from the front door – leading straight towards her.

At first she'd heard Santana's keys jiggle in the lock, and had immediately regretted it. But now…. There was no turning back. She could hear her room-mate pause in the hallway, probably confused by all of the candles.

"Rach?" she questioned into the apartment, and the door closed behind her, and Rachel could hear her drop her things – in the loud fashion that only Santana could – before she heard footsteps come closer.

She tried to picture her, making her way through their small apartment led by the candles that Rachel had spent ten minutes trying to light properly. She could see the Latina; beautiful as always, carefully trying to make sense of all of this. And Rachel held her breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen, when, finally, Santana was standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

Rachel had to lick her dry lips, "Hi." She whispered, not sure about what else to say.

Santana was still carrying the flowers in her hand, "You just left these." She said, and she sounded very confused. "You were there?"

"I… I had to leave." Rachel whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You heard it all?" she continued, and her eyes were full of questions, and she looked like Santana, but something was different; she seemed vulnerable. Vulnerable in a way that Rachel had never experienced before.

The diva nodded. "Yes, I – I heard _everything_." she let her eyes lock with Santana's, desperately trying to convey to the other girl that this was a good thing, that she shouldn't be afraid of what was to come, that she could safely open herself up like she'd just done on that stage. "Santana-"

"What's with all these candles?" Santana cut her off, and her voice was a little hard, a little cold, and Rachel could tell that she was well on her way to putting all of her defences right back up.

She licked her lips yet another time, "I put them up to be romantic." She shyly replied, and now it was her turn to not want to meet Santana's eyes. The other girl was quiet, and when Rachel finally dared to look up, there was a twinge around Santana's mouth, and she seemed humoured.

"To be romantic?" she questioned, arching an eyebrow.

Getting off of the bed, Rachel quickly made her way to Santana's side. "That card probably should have said another three words, but I wrote those three words, because I thought it was important that you knew I _am_ sorry for meddling if I messed up. But I did the meddling that led to those three words because of those _other_ three words…" she paused; she was rambling and she knew it, "I – I… point is, I love you, Santana."

The Latina blinked. "You _love_ me?"

Nodding, Rachel replied, "I do! And I have been so confused because of everything, but Quinn urged me to tell you, tonight, and then I got mad at you for your meddling-" she paused when she realised that Santana was shooting her an odd look, "-yes, your talk with Cassandra July? It bid me in the _arse_ today – but then I thought, 'hey, never mind, Santana's singing about you!'." She swallowed and breathed out, "You were… singing about me. Weren't you?"

Of all the possible reactions she'd anticipated, this was not the one. Santana broke into a laugh. Placing the flowers on the shelf beside her, the Latina laughed. She was laughing so hard, and Rachel couldn't understand why. What was so funny!? She was deeply serious right now, yet the other girl had the nerve to laugh at her in her face! What was _up_ with that!?

"I'm _serious_!" she shrieked, and then she… stomped her foot. Which only made Santana laugh even harder. Why did she stomp her foot?

Santana managed to squeak out, between laugh upon laugh, "Of – course – I was – sing – singing – about you!"

Rachel stared at her. Alright, so this was good news. Santana had just confirmed what she'd believed, and hoped. The song was about her. That was a good thing. But Santana was still laughing. "Then why are you still laughing?" she questioned, and she couldn't quite hide the fact that she was confused and possibly a little bit hurt.

Calming herself down, Santana breathed in and out for a few seconds, trying to steady her breathing. Before she – lovingly – placed a hand on Rachel's bare arm. "Because I just thought about Quinn, and – and what she said."

"What did Quinn say?" Rachel whispered. She was sort of eager to get this out of the way, because she believed that she and Santana had some things to figure out.

Stroking her arm gently, the Latina continued, now with eyes full of affection, "When I told her that I was in love with you – she said to me that we were like _Rizzoli & Isles_. And the way you just reacted – it totally fucking proved her point. You're so very much like Isles."

Rachel didn't know who Rizzoli and Isles were, but she decided not to dwell too long on that. There was something else entirely on her mind. "You told Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"But I told Quinn!" she squeaked, and suddenly, all of Quinn's actions, and her annoyance, it made a lot more sense. "That sneaky little-"

"_Bitch_!" Santana cut her off, as realisation hit her, too.

Rachel shrugged, "I was going to say 'thing', but your wording is quite alright as well." She couldn't hide her grin, "She knew all along. She must have been so amused."

Santana bit her lip, and suddenly, Rachel was very aware of how close they were standing, and how beautiful the other girl looked in the light coming from the candles. Her face was filled with shadows, and her eyes were shimmering with happiness and affection. She wasn't quite sure what the next step was supposed to be, how they were supposed to go on. All she was sure of was – that was very attracted to Santana's lips right now, and it was practically all her eyes could fixate on. Oh, how she wanted to kiss them. "Did you – did someone talk to you about your show?" she whispered then, desperately trying to tare herself away from the other girl's alluring lips. She needed to focus right now! She shouldn't be drooling like this.

Those dark eyes searched Rachel's face for just a second, before Santana opened her mouth, "Not yet. And if it doesn't happen after tonight, it will. I'm not worried; I'll keep trying 'till I make it."

Rachel nodded her head, "That sounds… smart. You will, you will make it."

"I fucking hope so." The Latina whispered, and her hand slipped from Rachel's arm to cup her cheek, "At least now I have you…" she paused, her eyes locking intimately with Rachel's, "…don't I?"

Nodding, Rachel couldn't say anything. She couldn't squeak out a single word; she had no idea how to. All she could do was feel – feel how close the other girl was getting, how much her heart was beating with anticipation, with love, with affection for this other person. All she could feel was the desire to finally be closer to her, to do the things she'd dreamt of doing so many days now.

Santana had a sneaky smile on her lips when she leaned in; Rachel closed her eyes, and two seconds later, fireworks went off behind her eyes. She was intoxicated the second her lips met Santana's; the taste, the feeling, the scents all around her. She could breathe it all in. And she'd never felt anything like it. She wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to scream out in joy. She was getting so emotional, and she almost couldn't control herself.

Her lips were still tingling when Santana pulled away and let her foreheads rest against hers. "At least now I have you…" she whispered, "It's you and me, Rach," she breathed out, her breath ghosting across Rachel's face, "you and me. We're gonna make it."

Rachel nodded, just as she pulled Santana's lips to hers for another kiss. Sure, they were going to make it – in more ways than one.

* * *

_I am so unbelievably sorry about the long delay with this chapter! There's not an excuse good enough for this, so I'm not even going to try. All I can say is that now I'm done – the last chapter is finally here, and I hope you enjoyed to actually read the ending of this story! I hate to have left you hanging, so I really hope I didn't disappoint (even though it feels rushed, and my writing is rusty). _

_I want to thank you all for supporting me through this piece of fiction, and for reviewing and encouraging me. I am done writing fanfiction, but I am not done writing. I am fifty pages into my first original novel, and while I realise that this is not much, I am slowly making my way through it whenever I have the chance to sit down and type. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I do not own Glee, or the song Santana performed. It's 'Never Been Hurt' by Sara Melson. _


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